I joined yesterday...

by Calyndra 28 Replies latest jw friends

  • Calyndra
    Calyndra

    Dear Members,

    I am so glad to have found you! I left the Congregation about eight years ago after a very traumatic experience (several, actually). I didn't have a choice about leaving the organization, I literally got ill every time I would begin getting dressed for a meeting, and after trying to force myself to go one Sunday I broke out in hives all over my body. I seriously get sick even now when I think about the idea of walking into a Kingdom Hall.

    I have always maintained that the Witnesses are sincere people who are being misled in matters of doctrine. I've felt that something was wrong at the top and that the "everyday, regular publisher" was unaware of the situation. But then again, the people in Germany were sincere and unaware of the Nazi movement too, right? Recently I have gotten in touch with a deep pain in my heart... The Governing Body could not do these things on their own without the help of many many many in each congregation to carry out their will. My sense of betrayal is fresh and new and I'm not sure exactly how to process this.

    I read some of your posts, and you seem bitter. I don't want to be bitter... I want to grieve this and then go on in a positive light again. Some seem to despise all JW's and I understand that feeling lately, but how can I find forgiveness again, and return to a peaceful frame of mind? To invest negative energy towards these people in an ongoing way is to continue to give them power in my life, and I want to end their power.

    Not sure if I'm making any sense. I guess what I'm asking is, how do I heal? How do I maybe locate people in my area who also need to heal? And how do I continue to learn where I've been "misled" without feeling that I've been made a fool of?

    Kathy

  • hambeak
    hambeak

    WELCOME TO THE BOARD KATHY!

    Many here are not bitter, some with good reason, keep a calm heart and yes forgiveness is a good quality, just don't forget. Reminds me of a stupid saying screw me once shame on you screw me twice shame on me. For the most part people here are very helpful and encouraging. You will learn a whole new world exists of great people. Looking forward to your posts

    Hambeak

  • lowden
    lowden

    Kathy

    Welcome to the forum!

    That's one of the most mature and level-headed introductory posts i've ever read.

    You seem to have your head very tightly screwed on.

    To invest negative energy towards these people in an ongoing way is to continue to give them power in my life, and I want to end their power.

    Indeed!

    The healing process is different for each one of us but heal you will, either directly or indirectly through interaction with people from a similar background (i.e. fellow former JW's)

    Stay around here.

    Peace

    Lowden

  • AuldSoul
    AuldSoul

    Welcome, Calyndra. I'm not sure how we can help you find a place to find out where you've been misled that would keep you from feeling foolish. I can speak from personal experience that the last year-and-a-half of my life I have never felt more a fool.

    I have come to the conclusion that there is no right way to do this thing we call life, and that odds are I'm going to feel foolish in the future, too. Maybe feeling foolish is a trial of humility, I don't know. So many people insist they are right, maybe the truly meek don't insist they are right, maybe they expect to be wrong sometimes. Maybe the meek are ready to be made fools of, if it means learning, growing, changing.

    I think anger is a useful stage of grief, if kept in context. It can heavily reinforce your determination not to engage in the behaviors or hold the attitudes that angered you. But, as you said, if someone gets stuck there then they lose their personal power as long as the cause of anger exists. Forgiveness includes candid acknowledgement of things that cause anger and a conscious decision to let it go.

    But, that's only what I think. I haven't yet been able to let it go because my wife is still trapped by it. I am still angry, but I look forward to the time when I won't be angry, anymore. As to finding people in your area, if you really live in Georgia you might live near me. I'll send you a Private Message, whether you respond is entirely up to you.

    Respectfully,
    AuldSoul

  • Calyndra
    Calyndra

    Thats whats got me so weirded out... I thought I HAD healed. Eight years ago I was raped by a Ministerial Servant who was my husband's best friend... We (husband and I) were devastated. This was after I had sincerely gone to the elders to report a congregationwide scandal and been marked for it.

    I've been in counselling, and resolved my feelings about the rape, but apparently the feelings about my spirituality have not been dealt with. I was numb last night to hear that the Witnesses cling to the 607 BC date so their chronology remains intact, but that reputable scholars all say the date is wrong. I've always clung to the things I researched as a Witness as proof that the Witnesses had "light" from God, but that they were imperfect humans... I'm faced with the prospect of re-evaluating EVERYTHING, and I don't quite know where to turn. This goes beyond imperfection. It looks more and more like the Governing Body is misleading 6 million people purposely.

    I'm tired already...

  • lowden
    lowden
    It looks more and more like the Governing Body is misleading 6 million people purposely.

    Yes, it would seem that was the case. It's a filthy, twisted organisation and personally i can't believe in a million years that the GB don't KNOW that they're deliberately misleading people. The 607 issue is only one item, there are many others.

    Peace

    Lowden

  • calico
    calico

    Welcome, Calyndra

  • jrjr4189
    jrjr4189

    Crisis of Conscience by Raymond Franz is what helped me get back my sanity when I was at the point you are right now. I and I'm sure most others would highly recomend it to anyone seeking answers about the top of the organizatioin

  • hambeak
    hambeak

    Did you report this to the Police? I hope so. My god how can the cong mark you you are the victim here. I'm sure Blondie will have some good advice and possibly some legal recourse for you. I know you must still be hurting and I'm not sure I could forgive something like that. I rescind part of my first post. Sorry. dear you are in my thoughts and prayers

    Hammy

  • Frannie Banannie
    Frannie Banannie

    Calyndra, welcome to JWD forum! Glad you decided to join us here.

    Re; your comment on bitterness shown by many xjdubyas here, it's a natural PHASE that some of those leaving the WTS go through after having their faith crushed/whole world turned upside down by a self-serving organization intent on enslaving humans for its own agendas. It doesn't last forever, but it is part of the healing process. Just like bereavement over a death of a loved one includes anger. You can't criticize the grieving for going through the natural order of the healing process over such a great loss, just as it's not good to look down on those who still feel the faux loss of what they thought was of value in the WTS after leaving.

    Frannie

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