Thanks, Es!
Dedalus was telling us about the behaviour of himself, and others, now as compared to when he was still a Witness. He pointed out that he saw plenty of drunkenness, smoking, premarital sex, etc. etc. in the org.
I think a lot of people were making that point, and they got me thinking about my own situation before leaving. I remember making an appointment with the drug & alcohol counselor at my school, to ask her if it was normal to feel like you needed to drink in social situations. In my case, I think the cognitive dissonance was doing it to me. It wasn't peer pressure so much as my own increasing difficulty meshing with these people.
What bothers me a little, looking back, is that no one recognized that I was developing a somewhat compulsive drinking habit. Oh, it never went anywhere, I guess. Never felt like I was struggling to give it up. But things weren't going in a normal direction: any situation involving more than a few people (Witnesses) made me want to drink. At my brother's wedding I had a six-pack in less than an hour. At another wedding I was seated with elders, but that didn't stop me from getting one rum & coke after another.
Of course, elders drank too. At "hospitality" gatherings (held for the Sunday speaker), a full bar was set up for the elders & elder's wives. They all became giddy and loud.
One of my best friends threw a party one weekend; we were drunk for about 48 hours straight. It was fun, in a reckless, foolish, adolescent way (I was underaged). Spent a lot of time bashing the Organization, who had recently printed an article denying they were a sect. In our stupor we got out the dictionary, looked up "sect," and chanted, "We are a sect! We are a sect!" One of us passed out; we put him in the bathtub.
Last summer a brother had a gathering at which we were all preparing to let loose, get wild, drink the house dry ... when a sister called to say she was bringing her bible study. Here's what my best friend's wife said:
Oh, shit! Now I have to act like a Witness.
Everyone agreed: it sucked that we couldn't swear, make lewd jokes, and get drunk. It seems odd now, to think that "acting like a Witness" actually means not acting like a Witness. And it's disturbing that we changed our behavior to convert people.
Wow -- I didn't realize how many drinking stories I had! But I'll just add that yeah, I still go out with friends, and yeah, I still have a drink or a few now and then -- but what's different is that I don't feel compelled to. I feel more in control of my behavior.
Anyway, of all the "immoral" behaviors, drunkenness is most prevelant among Witnesses -- that's my observation, and many others have observed it too. I don't think it's because Witnesses have bad morals, or any such sanctimonious reason. I just think they're, in general, really depressed. I think the religion engenders a variety of masochistic pathologies (recently wrote a psychoanalytic paper arguing this), and alcohol is one way of dealing with that.
Thanks for your experiences, Es! Hope you're doing well!
Your little (sober) cyber bro,
Dedalus