I was a born-in, but I've changed SO much since I became an adult and left....for the better! I was shy and timid as a Dub, never speaking up, and deferring to my Father, the "head of the family." Therefore, I learned late how to make decisions and to voice my opinions. It took awhile for my personality to emerge, because I always stayed in the background and didn't realize I had opinions!
Now, I'm assertive about my needs and opinions, and don't let anyone push me around. If I don't like something, or want to go somewhere, I can say so. I am physically much healthier, and mentally too! The only one I try to please, is my husband, and he's happy if I'm happy. No persnickety body of elders and all the snippy wives, and cliquish kids. Who needs it?
I am still compassionate, and honest, nd I think I'm a pretty decent, moral person. Yes, you can be all those things, and not attend the Kinkdumb Hall, who'd have thought?