i don't see whats so wrong with the word pity farkel. I think its appropriate for this context, because assuming she/he/ was genuine, i can identify with her/his situation, and feel sad that i or anyone else here for that matter cannot change their point of view despite our best efforts, and that this person will continue living only half their life, if that.
if i felt, by being a JW this person was a 'loser' than that means i have at some stage also been a loser.
noun
| 1. | sympathetic or kindly sorrow evoked by the suffering, distress, or misfortune of another, often leading one to give relief or aid or to show mercy: to feel pity for astarving child. |
| 2. | a cause or reason for pity, sorrow, or regret: What a pity you could not go! |
–verb (used with object)
| 3. | to feel pity or compassion for; be sorry for; commiserate with. |
–verb (used without object)
| 4. | to have compassion; feel pity. |
—Idiom
| 5. | have or take pity. to show mercy or compassion. |
Quite frankly, i do not care enough to discuss this further, but the above i feel defines how exactly i meant the word to be taken.