Well I have to say it was easier for me than I ever thought possible. My daughter educated me in the use of the internet to find friends. That was what I was looking for, actually female friends, and was a wee bit scared, but I found some really genuine people!! I had always thought it would be a dangerous enterprise meeting people via the internet. True you have to be careful, but in this world today you have to be careful everywhere. Initially we would chat via emails, a bit online, then via telephone. This was how I met my soul mate and I have never regretted one second of it! He has never been a JW, but encourages me to be 'myself', something I had never done, from an early age I was always a 'people pleaser'. Having been married to a JW for 30 years I have now been liberated from all that stifled me. I truly feel loved, cherished and protected more than I have ever done in my whole life, and I feel less guilty as time goes on. Yes having been a JW is hard for folk to understand, but everyone has a 'history' of some sort, so we all have to adapt and try to understand each other. If you find a genuine friend they will give you the time to talk things through and will do their best to support you, that is what we are all seeking, that sort of friend irrespective of whether it develops into a relationship. I am just so happy that mine did, but I would have been content at the time to find new friends. Hope you find someone who will make you as happy as I now am... keep on searching!!
Posts by Tez
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26Do you think it`s hard to have a relationship after you leave?
by dido ini have been out for 4 years now, and find it hard to meet someone who i find is compatible.
one of the reasons being is that they haven`t experienced what it is like to come out of a cult, and i find there is a void there.
does anyone else feel like this?
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40
New here on board..
by tweetybird193 in!st.
i cant get this red to change on here.
im glad to be here.
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Tez
Welcome Tweetiebird and Suzie, look forward to hearing more from both of you!!
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71
It's High Time I Introduce Myself
by Lady Liberty init's high time i introduce myself.
i feel like i know many of you already, just by daily reading your posts over the last year.
you all have been a support to my husband and i, even though you were not even aware we were even here.
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Tez
Welcome Lady Liberty!!!! You are the proof for us that we can have hope that those we love still left in may one day start to question for themselves!!! I am so sorry for the trauma you have had but hope once you are truly 'out' you will find life can be fulfilling and rewarding, the early days are certainly hard. My thoughts will be with you and your family over the coming months.. I look forward to reading more of your posts, I like the way you record your story. With your daughter my one bit of advice is to be honest with her, but gently. I always tried to be open and honest with my children, even though I brought them up as JW's, I would share the difficulties we experienced with them. They grew up to be able to think and see things for themselves, and thankfully I have 3 of my 4 children out with me. I pray for my youngest who is still in and very zealous.
Take care and once again Welcome..
love
Tez
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21
Strange question...
by Tez insorry for this but my partner has been trying to find the answer to this question.... what do american children call the tooth fairy??
he is convinced you have a different term for it, could anyone please tell him and put me out of my misery!!!.
cheers!.
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Tez
Thanks everyone! The film is Darkness Falls, its about the tooth fairy, not sure in what context.
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21
Strange question...
by Tez insorry for this but my partner has been trying to find the answer to this question.... what do american children call the tooth fairy??
he is convinced you have a different term for it, could anyone please tell him and put me out of my misery!!!.
cheers!.
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Tez
Clam this is sorta where he is coming from, he is trying to remember the name of a film... and thinks the title is the American version of Tooth Fairy..
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21
Strange question...
by Tez insorry for this but my partner has been trying to find the answer to this question.... what do american children call the tooth fairy??
he is convinced you have a different term for it, could anyone please tell him and put me out of my misery!!!.
cheers!.
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Tez
Sorry for this but my partner has been trying to find the answer to this question.... What do American children call the tooth fairy?? He is convinced you have a different term for it, could anyone please tell him and put me out of my misery!!!
Cheers!
Tez
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44
I'm a newbie!!
by Poodles inthis is my first time in this forum!
i joined because i would like to understand the witness way of life w/o joining!!
all debates welcome!!
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Tez
Hiya Poodles!!! Sorry to hear you've had a bad relationship with a JW but glad that you have learned not to get mixed up in it!!! You will learn so much here which will ensure that you don't get lured into it, and will protect you not just from JW's but any sect that tries to take over your brain, and there are many. Sounds like you have a faith of your own? Here there are many from different walks of life though most having JWism in common. There are the intellectual ones (not me!) who will answer your questions with clever answers, there are those who can answer from experience, and there are those who are just so kind, considerate and caring that you come away realising that there are good folk in this world if you just look.... They all want to help, so use this board whenever you want to get your answers, to get encouragement and to help you get over your broken Hope you stay a long time!!!
Take care
{{{{{{{{{{{{{huggles}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
Tez
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8
How were you treated?
by snarf inwhen you were in the org.
how did your non-believeing relatives treat you?
my relatives got very distant from me, probably cause all i would talk about was "truth" and try and hand out mags.
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Tez
Those I cared about treated me fine, my ex mother in law, went to great lengths to conform with the no b/days, no Xmas thing. When I left she was really upset to get a Xmas card from me, think she was totally confused. One of my aunts was really pleased to know I had finally left, she told me she always thought I was brain washed anyhow! Also I found out that when my second son left (he was the first to leave) his grandad cheered! (Grandad is a Methodist Lay preacher, and always advised us to get jobs as Church ministers because it paid well!).
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35
JW couples don't love each other
by Nosferatu inhas anyone else ever noticed this in the kh?
married couples don't seem to show any affection to each other.
however, when a couple is dating, they will hold hands.
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Tez
Cyd, I noticed it too in all four of the congregations we were in, I felt you could tell just by looking at them who had a good relationship and who didn't. I felt many were just sticking with it for the sake of JWism, and I felt real sorry for them. Although I split up with my husband after I left the organisation we had a good friendship and we weren't prudes, but there were many couples who to me just seemed frustrated in their relationships, I felt real sorry for them.
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27
A survey
by deneranys ini just joined this forum, for two main reasons.
1-i've been feeling the need to talk to some ex-jw's out there.
i feel like i've only been alive for 2 years, and it's hard to feel normal around the public.
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Tez
Hello and Welcome to the board!!!!
What a load of rubbish saying it is a test of your integrity to stay in your unhappy marriage!!! Mmmm... I stuck with mine for 30 years, 22 of them as a JW, thought it would help me, I prayed and prayed to love my husband the way a wife should, it just didn't happen! He was always like a nice older brother to me. So good on you for getting out earlier, in the long run its kinder to admit it, and I am glad you are happier now. I wasn't brought up as a JW, but will pm you my email address and you can send me the questionnaire, I will see if two of my kids (grown up now) will complete it for you. On reflection I would say one of the major differences between kids growing up in the organisation is the fear they are brought up with, not feeling comfortable with expressing their inner most feelings and ideas. One of mine in particular bottled a lot up, I didn't realise for years this was what they were doing... I always thought they could talk to me about anything, but it was the 'elders' they were afraid of.
Look forward to seeing more of you on the board, and be interesting to see some feedback from your research.
Tez