evita

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Posts by evita

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  23

  grief & jw's?

  by carla in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  reading the other thread made me wonder, do jw's ever truly grieve at the loss of a loved one?

  i can see in front of other jw's they feel the need to maintain the party line, but in private?

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  evita

  So sorry for your loss Emma.
  My situation was similar in that I "lost" my mom when I left the witnesses over 20 years ago. She died about a year and a half ago. That's when I really began to grieve, not only her death which was devastating but the magnitude of the whole JW thing.
  When my mom was dying, I got to know some of her close dub friends. For the most part they were very kind and helpful. After she died, I called one in particular because I was grieving so hard and I felt she would understand. She was very gentle but she did say that she felt sorry for me because I did not have Jehovah and the hope of the new system. Even though I was at my lowest point ever, I knew I would rather go through intense and debilitating grief than be back in that horrible, claustrophobic religion.
  When I look at the witnesses I was around during that time, I see that many of them cannot grieve openly or honestly. Many of their honest feelings, such as anger, jealousy, competition, lust, have no outlet so must be suppressed. They are supposed to "rely on Jah and his organization". Instead, they are sick and overweight, they take loads of antidepressants and sleep meds, and have many illnesses such as CFS and fibromyalgia. They are tired and conflicted. And still they continue on, going to meetings and trying to "do more and better" to please Jehovah.
  I know there must be a different and better way to live.
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  125

  The day a brother died in my Hall, & the unbelievable events that followed.

  by Mr Ben in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  this one really freaked me out.

  i was so brainwashed at the time i found a way to justify it.

  i think i?ve been repressing my anger about this and now i need to vent.

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  evita

  At our first assembly we were befriended by a witness family with many children. They seeemed rather poor and "humble". We were very nervous about doing everything right at our first convention and they helped us find our way around and were very nice to us.
  I think it was about a year later....they were driving to the circuit assembly and were in an accident. They showed up at the assembly, and everyone was fine. Except their little 2 year old had died in the crash! I was 14 years old and just horrified they were there like nothing had happened. I'm sure they were in a state of shock. Well, everyone got into their seats as usual and I don't remember anythng being mentioned from the platform. We were all such zombies!
  I think back on that event and hope with all my heart that this family got the help they needed that day. After reading this thread, I'm not so sure.
  Eva
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  125

  The day a brother died in my Hall, & the unbelievable events that followed.

  by Mr Ben in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  this one really freaked me out.

  i was so brainwashed at the time i found a way to justify it.

  i think i?ve been repressing my anger about this and now i need to vent.

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  evita

  Oops! sorry for the double post.
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  125

  The day a brother died in my Hall, & the unbelievable events that followed.

  by Mr Ben in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  this one really freaked me out.

  i was so brainwashed at the time i found a way to justify it.

  i think i?ve been repressing my anger about this and now i need to vent.

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  evita

  At our first assembly we were befriended by a witness family with many children. They seeemed rather poor and "humble". We were very nervous about doing everything right at our first convention and they helped us find our way around and were very nice to us.
  I think it was about a year later....they were driving to the circuit assembly and were in an accident. They showed up at the assembly, and everyone was fine. Except their little 2 year old had died in the crash! I was 14 years old and just horrified they were there like nothing had happened. I'm sure they were in a state of shock. Well, everyone got into their seats as usual and I don't remember anythng being mentioned from the platform. We were all such zombies!
  I think back on that event and hope with all my heart that this family got the help they needed that day. After reading this thread, I'm not so sure.
  Eva
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  23

  An intriging tale of corruption in the congregation {Mark Heber Miller}

  by sf in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  http://www.nazarene-friends.org/pubs/confessions/000.htm

  i haven't read marks story in a while and was looking for the part where he states ted jaracz went out in field service with him and a few other brothers back in the 70's, in newport beach/ balboa island, for another thread here.. if you grew up in southern california as a jw, you might find it a very intriging tale of just how the elite congs were being run.

  i know for myself it is like trying to fit pieces of a puzzle.

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  evita

  I read the whole thing last night, I couldn't stop.
  Amazing story and quite depressing, Makes me sick to my stomach thinking that my mom spent 30 years devoted to such a corrupt organization.
  What a waste.
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  27

  My Friend died

  by pratt1 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  a few weeks ago i posted that a very good friend of mine from childhood was diagnoised with terminal colon cancer.. we were very close growing up in the dubdum, and we were in each others wedding party.

  our kids reffered to each of us as uncle and his kids look towards my parents as their grandparents.. we drifted apart after i left the lie, but we managed to stay in touch infrequently even if only to keep updated on the kids or other family members.. fortunately for me, i was able to spent a lot of time with him while he was in the hospital and hospice, and we reconnected as friends almost like the old days.

  on may 19th, although it was the day before my family vacation and i had a lot of running around to do, me and my wife went to see him.

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  evita

  So sorry Pratt.
  Losing someone you love is hard and sad.
  Hugs, Eva
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  10

  Did anyone you know fade before YOU did?

  by gaiagirl in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  just curious as to whether anyone had the experience of a friend or associate at the kingdom hall fade away or discontinue attendance without having been disfellowshipped first?

  i did have that happen, and i wondered why they suddenly weren't around anymore.

  what were you told by others regarding this absence?

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  evita

  When I was a witness teen and young adult, I thought people only faded because they were doing bad things out there in the world. I knew about apostates but they were scary and weird and I didn't have any idea how they ended up that way. I thought being an apostate was kind of like being insane. Something freaky happened to your brain and then you became a big, bad apostate.
  Later, when I began to fade it seemed that everyone was so hush-hush about leaving. All us faders retreated to our own little private hell and never spoke about it. This was before the internet, of course.
  At one point, I ran into someone who I used to know and said, "Don't I know you? I'm an ex-dub too." His response..."Don't talk to me, I never want to talk about that." That made me feel alone and depressed as I was a young and scared fader..
  Oh, we are so lucky to have the internet.
  Eva
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  34

  When you receive an ...shepherding visit, why not express appreciation ..?

  by jgnat in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  "when you receive an encouraging shepherding visit, why not express appreciation for it?

  " wt may 1, 2006, p. 21 pp.

  sorry for stealing your thunder blondie, but this suggestion really struck home.

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  evita

  I turned down a shepherding call because I was so afraid of being confronted and disfellowshipped. The elders may have had the best intentions, but I was a fearful fader and could not take the chance.
  
  Jgnat, thank you for the pm about some of my wedding mishaps from another thread. I can receive pm's, but cannot send them as I am a mac/safari user. You are so right about that Oprah bride; the wedding day is such a small part of this thing called marriage.
  Eva
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  47

  What is your favorite Chinese Food?

  by averyniceguy in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i like orange beef.

  what about you?

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  evita

  Wor WonTon Soup - wonton soup with extra goodies in it.
  Pot Stickers
  Moo Shu Vegetables
  Hunan Shrimp
  Dry Fried String Beans
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  21

  Update on my dad's health

  by JH in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  a few weeks ago, i told you guys that my dad was diagnosed with intestinal cancer.

  well, he went to the hospital monday for an operation.

  prior to the operation, with scans and x rays of all types, they saw that he had a tumor on his liver as well as on his lungs.

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  evita

  Sorry to hear the sad news of your dad's illness.
  I will be thinking of you.
  Eva