Like a lot of others on this board, your attitudes sound a lot like mine. In reading their comments, I can assure you that you that you will get a plethora of differing religious opinions here. Your statement about the UN/NGO thing was heartwarming because you indicated that you are actually, honestly thinking about this stuff.
But what I wanted to address is the chilling statements about what your wife said to you, because I hear the seeds of the same kind of disaster that has almost (literally) killed me. Do not, do not, do not, do not, do notx1000 toss away what your wife says and feels like so much noise. First of all, she has a right to her feelings, her outlook, her dreams, just like the rest of us. Now, that having been said, you are going to have to determine what is best for YOUR FAMILY. Not just you. I know the doubts that you are at war with. But what is happening right now, and what you two do/think/say right now, are seeds, the result of which won't be seen for another 10 years. How important is your family to you? Important enough to die for? How about important enough to eat mindless drivel for the next 20 years? Now the biggy question: how important is religion in your relationship as a couple united in marriage, and as a family? You indicated "not much" because you don't "study", don't FS, don't meeting, but those are trappings, not substance. How much do you mention Jehovah around your children each day? How much do you consider his thoughts in front of them? To yourself? Between your wife and yourself? I would guess that it is quite a lot, otherwise you wouldn't be having this discussion. If religion is a "big deal" in your family, what have you got to replace the one you already have? Will that vaccuum make a difference to your family?
What I mean is this: does your wife love you because you're you, or does she love you because she doesn't want to piss off her God? ( Her "never get what I want" statement is one that should be mediated on at length) Do you love your wife and your family because you've always heard the "elders" say it should be so, or because they are your family? Religion, especially the JW religion because of it's fatalism and the fact that all life is held in constant comparison to some ethereal, and unattainable ideal, is a weapon. To a loving, honest, truthful people, religion rarely (if ever) is a shield, but in fact, becomes a sword for some heartless, selfish pig to use to cut hearts out. If you continue to stay around this board and ask questions and investigate, the emptiness within you is just going to get bigger and bigger. All the while, your wife will be getting more and more ammo towards getting rid of your sorry butt, and (trust me on this) if your FS score is low and your lips aren't chapped from kissing the "elders'" butts you will NOT receive any support from your congo when the chips are down. Unless your wife looks like an M1 Abrams (and then, it's only 50-50), the moment she goes to the elders and sniffles and moans because you're not "spiritual" enough, you are dead meat. They will be all over her, with sympathy and love and caring and assurances that the devil has taken you and yadda, yadda, yadda. I have never known an "elder" not to fall for the "Oh, you're my hero!" gag yet.
*******DISCLAIMER!!!! Before I get burned at the stake here, I am using the word "wife" because you have indicated that you are male and a husband. I am not saying that women get prefferential treatment. What I am saying is that the borg sees life through and extremely narrow keyhole: the congo. In the never ceasing stupidity of the human race, if they can reduce it to numbers they will. "Wow, brother X has 10 hours this month, brother Y only 7. Hmm, well, I guess brother X is more 'spiritual' than brother Y. Yup, yup, yup!"
The result of all this is that you are about to embark upon a very, very painful mission. Not just for you, but for your family as well. By staying with this board, you will learn things you never knew existed, you will, indeed, gain a freedom you didn't know was possible. But that freedom ain't free!!! Where you might be delighted and happy and dancing on air, your family may not see it so. But maybe that's okay, it ain't our call.
You have doubts, you're no different than anyone else; and the fence sitting is starting to hurt your butt. I was once told that I could take myself out of "the truth" if I wanted, but I could never take "the truth" out of me. Funny thing though, at least for me, the opposite is true as well.