Julia -
You have left the Cult. It takes time for the Cult to leave you.
I have been there myself, the people crossing the street to avoid me, the gossip, the informal shunning as not DF. You name it. The two year mark for me was the worst, too far gone to go back, but not knowing yet where the hell I was. Admittedly, it was made easier because I had already made friends outside.
This time of year is always difficult anyway, I am constantly frazzled. Coming off meds cold turkey is bad in itself. It does get better. Find something to do that you enjoy, that gets you out meeting people. Most humans are basically nice. The "troof" attracts all sorts of misfits and wierdos; fifteen years does damage. Try 30 as in my case!
Hang in there - the beautiful country is beyond the badlands. Every step you take gets you there.