Posts by lilacia

67

I MADE A SCENE AT THE KINGDOM HALL REMODEL TODAY

by Corvin in

jw
friends

the set up

it was getting close to noon and elese decided to give her mother a call to let her know she was ready to be picked up.

sara said she had to stop by the kingdom hall to drop off some ice for the brothers doing the remodeling.

lilacia

I respect your actions on a number of levels. Thank you for sharing.

3

Road Rules on Mtv exJw

by NoLongerAjw in

jw
friends

did anyone happen to see road rules on mtv tonight?

the new girl said she and her family used to be witnesses and then she got raped by a member of the congergation.

and her family thought she was the bad one.

Actually, yes, I saw this episode. I was surprised that the production included this in the narrowed down, edited version of the entire 24/7 footage that they film. As I noted on another post, I hope this leads the new member of the show, as all who have been hurt by this organization, to placing the past where it belongs and finding freedom in free will and intelligence.

4

Anyone notice "Road Rules" on MTV tonight?

by Armistead in

jw
friends

the new contestant is a former jw and spoke fairly extensively about her experience growing up and how she was abused by the organization and raped by someone in her congregation.

lilacia

Yes, I saw it. It was a surprising event, considering that the MTV production and editing crew has 24/7 worth of footage to air, that they would put this to air. I know Burnim-Murray has production credits but I wondered the value and worth of this info from the new member to the viewing public. I give full respect to her to sharing the personal info and only hope she can gain more strength from identifying her experience rather than identifying herself as a victim of the JW organization. To place such events in the past, allows us the freedom to move forward.

2

Unassigned territory..question

by lilacia in

jw
friends

please respond.

any current jw or former jw with this experience.

i have a loved family member who has been a pioneer for over

lilacia

Please respond. Any current JW or former JW with this experience. I have a loved family member who has been a pioneer for over

20 years. She and her elder husband have recently gone off once again to "unassigned territory" in the US. She is always so busy with her

life, she fits in this work to please Jehovah. She works into the night, just to earn a living. She has no time to even email me with a response

to how her pregnancy is going and how she is feeling, but she has time to pack and again, cover this territory. I understand it is her life to

live. I have a hard time digesting the fact that I am not her "true" sister, but the "sisters" in her religion are more important to her than I am.

I worry that she is covering "unassigned territory" at 7 months pregnant. Why doesn't her heart tell her that Jehovah understands that she needs

to take a break from trying to reach out to very soul. I was raised with her as JW. I understand what they teach, but I am not baptized and

have never been. Does she fear wrath from Jehovah that she did not do all that she could to knock on every cave, box, and home? Why does this insistant travel occur?

13

My JW sis

by lilacia in

sorry, for those about to read.

i don't post often here.

to be honest, i relate to almost everything i read here.

lilacia

I just wanted to thank you all for each post. My heart will always be full of love for my sister and it does not depend on her beliefs. My love is true and deep and unlike a JW, does not depend on how someone tells me I have to treat another person. For those of the JWs out there that DO read these posts; it DOES matter how you treat the "unbelievers". It does matter when you ignore or look the other way. How? It makes us more aware of the unrelenting, pouding of what you need to believe and how you should perceive just about anything in your life. Want to wear slacks to the "meeting" ladies? (doesn't the word meeting sound creepy in it's own right?), NO..a woman must wear a skirt or dress. Want to discuss anything "uplifting" other then relegated from the governing body? That is a NO NO. You MUST only discuss the publications. I would not want to "stumble" another sister by sharing a recipe or *gasp* discuss any other music other then the dull, errrr uplifting Kingdom Songs!! Sorry..I should have warned of a Kingdom rant at the start of this post. We now resume to the Thursday night, preach until you are persecuted, teachings.

The bottom line, is that I appreciate the joy of everyday life. I adore nature and respect animals. More important, I love people. I care about the people in my life. I want people who enter my life to feel important. I do not think that any creator of ours would actually be happy to know that in his honor, people would be made to feel less than or shunned. I am so glad that I did NOT buy into the "stay away from computers or internet" bs that the early publications used to preach. I am proud that I actually went to college and "invested" in this system of things, because it has enabled me to get a better job and feed and clothe my children. If only the governing body would have warned us of pet rocks or chia pets or worse yet, true laughter that brings on wrinkles as you age!

13

My JW sis

by lilacia in

sorry, for those about to read.

i don't post often here.

to be honest, i relate to almost everything i read here.

lilacia

Thank you for your hugs and kindness and for taking the time to read my post. At times, the shared experiences make me smile and laugh. Many of us can relate to the JW speak, the terms, the "unspoken" rules and the not so subtle teachings each Sunday via the governing body. There are times I want to face off about the ridiculousness of the "beliefs" with both my sister and my dad. My Dad and mom were divorced when I was in college, she has since remarried. My dad did remarry, but not to a JW and he was threatened with DF for who knows what specific terms they accused him of. I had just had my first child of three, in '94. My Dad was with his wife visiting with me at the hospital, meeting my newborn son. My sis and her hubby came to visit, but she walked in, ignored my Dad and her husband DID say hello to him and shook his hand, but it was so uncomfortable, my Dad and his wife left. So he was never DF but she still refused to talk to him until he became "active" again soonthereafter and now he goes to "meetings" and goes out in service but his wife is Catholic. She is such a wonderful woman. He had dated her when they were 17 or so, but then never got married. She is supportive of his beliefs, but she says she "has her beliefs and he has his" and it works for them. With her pregnancy, I wish we could share all of those special pregnancy-related issues. I have had three children and have been through many issues that I could share with her. It just makes me sad when I actually focus on our lack of relationship and closeness and knowing it is all due to a certain belief system.

I too read many posts and experiences and then logoff, needing time to digest what I have read and wishing many times I could offer support or comfort, but sometimes it hits so hard, I am simply too sad to be able to offer much. Thank you for your hugs and comfort.

13

My JW sis

by lilacia in

sorry, for those about to read.

i don't post often here.

to be honest, i relate to almost everything i read here.

lilacia

Sorry, for those about to read. I don't post often here. To be honest, I relate to almost everything I read here. Yet, at the same time it is comforting to know my experiences are common, it is also sad and frustrating to hear how it has hurt other people as well. There are times I read the posts and I laugh and grin and I so enjoy the humor many of the members share, there are also times the "JW speak" gets to me and I have to leave the website and try to get it off my mind.

Growing up, I was the younger of two girls. My older sis became a pioneer, forsake art school or college and moved away so she could pioneer with an older pioneer woman who was a mother figure to her. Our own mother had become baptized, but was DF due to smoking and getting caught. All my preteen years were spent explaining to the "friends" why I myself had not been baptized yet. My Dad was baptized, my sister, my mother. Many times my folks set up "sleepovers" with more "strong sisters" who were my age and already baptized and each time, it was only a matter of time before the young sister would bring up the importance of dedication to Jehovah and so forth. In any case, as the years progressed, I did not become baptized, but went to college to earn a college degree. Many of you understand how the JW frowned about "placing such faith in this system". Even though most of the elders drove really nice cars, had nice homes and even vacation homes. That ius besides my point here so I shall move on.

So all my life, my sister and I have not been close due to this belief difference. She is a dedicated follower of JW and I was never baptized. I went on and was married, had children. My sister and her elder husband always said they did not want children. About a month or so ago, my sis calls me and tells me that my children are going ot have a new cousin. NOT that I am going to become an Aunt, but that my children will have a new cousin. I was so shocked. All these years I never expected her to have a child. I had always thought that they would be wonderful parents, but they made it a point up until recently, to NOT have children. They travel around the world, visit conventions and make "new friends". This is the rant part of my post. More like, me feeling sorry for myself, sorry for the relationship I never had with my sister and never WILL have. A couple days after she told me she was pregnant, I called her, offering some of my pregnancy books that I have held on to for sentimental reasons. Of any person in the world I would be willing to give them to, it would be my sister. She told me she "already had" so many books from her "sisters", so many in fact, she will hardly even be able to read them all! Although I am happy she has a support system, it was like a bolt of pain right to my heart when she emailed me that fact. So I then knew, I was about the LAST person in her life to be told she is having a child. I have three children who hold my heart in every way possible. I had wished I could share with my sister, something so special as becoming a mother.

But I can't. She is a JW. I am not. That fact will forever prevent us from the love and sharing of motherhood. I am hurt. Angry. Frustrated. Sad.

17

Anyone ever been to the meeting drunk or stoned???

by New Castles in

ok funny question....i have a friend who used to get to the meeting drunk as a skunk sometimes and he'd play it off nicely.

i do know of a couple of times he came stoned too.

anyone here ever do that, or knew someone who did??

lilacia

No...neither. BUT...we first had a "bible study" with a family that lasted a year or two and when the study was over, the older daughter took me down into their basement where her room was and it was where I first discovered weed and bowls and black lights and Led Zep. Upstairs our folks were discussing how to alter our lives and control us, downstairs, was where I really did not care if Santa Claus was real or not. I was even "used" the next few years, as a pseudo "underage chaperone", one of those "bring her with and we can find something to do with her while we do the naughty". Some of the worst, scary experiences I had, was with an older "sister" who left me with people she thought SHE could trust. It was like feeding time at the Zoo. All the older "brothers" at the party, knew I was alone, the younger ones were too scared by elder daddy to be alone with me. It was amazing to me, the two-faced personalities. At the KH, these guys were all wholesome and polite. At a "get- togethers", designed to bring together like-minded JW young ones (c'mon, you know they hope to breed within JW race), I would be targeted fresh future elderwife/pioneer. Two of the young men actually smoked joints in front of me and tried to hand them to me and then would talk about how they saw their futures in the KH. Just say NO..to JW. It is remarkable that I actually never got into drugs, or porn or devil-worship as I was taught to avoid. Yet, still "wordly", I got a college education and am a strong, educated women. The bottom line, I saw more of my older teen JWs do drugs and have sex and it was their actions that I actually learned the negative results from. Imagine that.

38

What do I do about a Bully?

by Stefanie in

jw
friends

there is this stupid kid who is picking on my 12 year old daughter.

it started at the begining of the school year and now yesterday the b*tch pulled my kids hair so hard she felt it an hour later.

two teachers know of the situation and have told my kid to just ignore it.

lilacia

I agree with many of the posts! Document and record and write letters to the Principal with details about what your daughter has told you was said in the meeting with the first Principal. Don't threaten to send the letter that documents the details, do it. Send it to the Superintendent of the school district AND demand a meeting with Principal, Assistant and another adult, preferably the Socail worker AND a friend of yours as well that you trust. That way, all noted detials of the meeting are kept to the truth. Plus, request as a result of your initial meeting, a second meeting within the same week with the parents of this other student with the same adults present. Document and record if you can, the meeting on video. Walk in with the cam and let them know you intend to record the proceedings and if they have a problem with it, then they can send off the news and media cams later if they wish as well! Don't take it lightly, the zero tolerance laws are there to protect all who are involved, so it actually works for the best for the victims and the bully, in cases where kids may lie and accuse a "bully" just to stir up trouble. Even in the case where there is a true "bully", they can possibly get help BEFORE a more serious incident occurs. I would also call the police if the school does not accomodate your needs immediatly. If you don't feel it will do much, go ahead and call the police immediatly then.

You mentioned your daughter had been homeschooled. I am both an educator by degree, taught for nearly ten years in both Elementary Edu classrooms as well as Special Ed. Then I made the choice to homeschool my own children due to a long list of reasons. Be strong, you are the voice for your child. She will remember what you have done for her and you also set an example. Wish you the best, keep us informed.

11

The Unforgiven

by Truth2Me in

this metallica song really speaks to me....sometimes it seems like the band must have studied what it's like to be disfellowshipped....they could have called the title "the disfellowshipped.

" been really struggling lately...wanted to share this, maybe some of you can relate..... unforgiven.

that old man here is me.

lilacia

Truth2Me, I just wanted to add this. Our life lessons end with our ability to realize how our choices effected our life. The lesson ends there. I believe this to a certain extent, that which does not involve taking a life or injuring a life, either child or adult. The JW way of life instills a great deal of guilt, even if you question a teaching. I am speaking of life lessons in terms of relationships and so forth. Most of us can relate to wrong choices in a lover or partner or mate. We can also relate to to the hindsite theory, if we can look back and say we would do it "differently" we sometimes would. Years later, some of us come to find that it was best to end the friendship or relationship at that point. My point is, you can move on. You have the power to put your feelings at the curb after dealing with them, and walking on. Only narrow minded people harbor mistruth and anger related to such. You cannot take on both your feelings and then also pick up the bags of judgement that others will place at your feet. Come to terms with what your heart is speaking to you, and find comfort in having it placed in the past in your life. In many cases, it is up to ourselves to take onto our shoulders the "bags of garbage" others put at our curb to pick up. If you have dealt with your issues, don't pick up other bags of garbage. Those bags belong to the ppl who left them. Call them and tell them to come pick up what is past due.