: Apparently the Watchtower's doom is imminent!
So is yours, Boobie, so is yours. ROTFLOL / AlanF Knows
Posts by AlanF
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27Well!
by biblexaminer ini would like to note two things here.
one: i wrote a paper on the correct understanding of matthew ch.
24. this paper was snail mailed all over, emailed too.
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7
Open letter to Dr. Laura (re: homosexuality)
by Joseph Joachim ini found this open letter hilarious, and certainly not off-topic for us .... jj.
dr. laura schlessinger is a us radio personality.
recently, she said that as an observant orthodox jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to leviticus 18:22 & cannot be condoned under any circumstance.
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AlanF
Good questions for the good Dr. Laura.
However, I was confused by this:
: Recently, she said that as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination
I did not know that homosexuality was both an observant Orthodox Jew and an abomination. Is Dr. Laura saying that because homosexuality is an observant Orthodox Jew, it is an abomination? That would be the same as saying that all Jews are abominations! While I would admit that some Jews I've known are not very nice, I would hardly characterize all of them as abominations.
I guess that homosexuality is an entity with many faces.
AlanF
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9
Baptism, Legalism and JWs
by jukief injehovah's witnesses like to think that their organization.
jehovah god himself.
church and christ, the church and the gospel.
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AlanF
Lock, stock and barrel, man!
What are you doing up so early? :-)
AlanF
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Brave New Genus
by AlanF inseems to me that we've seen the rise of a new genus of human-like creature over the last century:.
cephalomorticus.
this is evolution in action!.
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AlanF
Seems to me that we've seen the rise of a new genus of human-like creature over the last century:
Cephalomorticus
This is evolution in action!
There are many species, some of which can be observed in their life activities on this discussion board. Here are some fine examples:
Cephalomorticus scumbagicus: You Know
Cephalomorticus infantilus: Yadirf/Friday
Cephalomorticus nanocephalus: Fredhall
Cephalomorticus microcephalus: FreeAtLast
Cephalomorticus macrocephalus: Ianao
Cephalomorticus macrocaudalis: Dark Clouds
Cephalomorticus dorcus: Goo
Cephalomorticus bipolaris: Logical
Then we have some old favorites from H2O:
Cephalomorticus ventucoleus: Greg Stafford
Cephalomorticus pleniclulus: Zion's Watch Tower
Cephalomorticus arcanimolicus: Harold
Cephalomorticus fundamenticobrutus: Worldly Witness
We also have specimens from the ancestors which gave rise to these:
Cephalomorticus mortocorpus: The Governing Body
Cephalomorticus egomaniacus: C. T. Russell
Cephalomorticus judicoboozicus: J. F. Rutherford
Cephalomorticus dementiatheologicus: Fred Franz
Cephalomorticus abominabilis: Ted Jaracz
Cephalomorticus malomusicalis: Karl Klein
Please do add to the list!
AlanF
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28
Incorrect to use the term "Jehovah's Witne...
by TR ini'm sure this has been brought up before, but it gives me the willies(brrrrrr!
) to say the...jw words.
since i don't believe they are god's witnesses, then i can't say the words.
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AlanF
Howdy PLH!
Just a few well-placed words by you can work miracles with your brother. Opportunities will arise.
AlanF
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Incorrect to use the term "Jehovah's Witne...
by TR ini'm sure this has been brought up before, but it gives me the willies(brrrrrr!
) to say the...jw words.
since i don't believe they are god's witnesses, then i can't say the words.
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AlanF
Not only in the term "Jehovah's Witnesses" but in hundreds of jargon terms do the JWs use such loaded, Orwellian language. Like the follower's of Orwell's Ingsoc, JWs have their own version of Newspeak, both of which are based on concepts like crimestop, blackwhite and most of all, doublethink.
AlanF
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Stillborn
by TMS indecember 1966 my wife had a stillborn son.
had he lived, he would now be 34 years old.
our circuit overseer at the time expressed his sympathy, but added the consoling words: "look on it as a blessing.".
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AlanF
This view of the Society's is among its many contradictory beliefs. They consider abortion murder because they say that once a fetus is formed at conception, it's a full-fledged human being and so killing it deliberately is murder. Yet they never address the problem of, "If abortion is killing a human, then logically God would resurrect aborted fetuses, whether the abortion be natural or induced." Nor do they address the converse, "If God considers stillborns not worthy of a resurrection, then he must not consider them to have been full-fledge humans, which means he doesn't consider fetuses humans, which means abortion can't be murder." The JW religion is chock full of inconsistencies like this. The policy on blood fractions is another good example.
AlanF
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40
My Epiphany
by Farkel inwell, folks.
i just had a minor epiphany.
its a wonder it never dawned on me before, because it should have been so obvious.. we can forget about doing any more research or any more exegesis.
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AlanF
Great thoughts, Farkelmeister!
Many of the old songs in the green 1950 songbook and in the older ones were pretty good. Of course, they were borrowed from Christendom, so they weren't actually nearly as good in Jehovah's eyes as the newer theocratic songs.
In 1966 the Society came out with the infamous pink songbook. It contained the worst songs imaginable, produced under the direction of Karl Klein. Klein's musical ability seems to have paralleled his writing ability, he having produced that wonder on "tacking" in 1981.
Remember how they added insult to injury when they came out with the records? For unknown reasons they decided that there would be a sort of "interlude" after the first stanza was sung, where the first few bars of the first stanza would be repeated after the first stanza and people were apparently supposed to just stand quietly and let the extra bars fade away, and then the second stanza started up. It took darned near ten years for the JW community to get the hang of this bit of lunacy. Oddly enough, the Society never issued instructions on how to sing according to the records, so whenever they were used, people would start singing the second stanza while the music in the first repeated, then after a couple of bars people would realize that they were singing to the wrong music and start to shut up. It was pretty funny, really. I can hardly think of a better practical joke to play on a community of millions of people.
Apparently by the early 1980s Klein had lost influence, and they dumped the worst of the pink songbook's junk and came out with the present version. They also jettisoned that nutty interlude business.
With respect to the Society's understanding of science, I can think of no better description than the one made by Alan Rogerson in his book on JWs, [i]Millions Now Living Will Never Die:
A long acquaintance with the literature of the Witnesses leads one to the conclusion that they live in the intellectual "twilight zone." That is, most of their members, even their leaders, are not well educated and not very intelligent. Whenever their literature strays onto the fields of philosophy, academic theology, science or any severe mental discipline their ideas at best mirror popular misconceptions, at worst they are completely nonsensical.
Substitute "music" for "science" and you've got a good description of the Society's handling of music.
The sad thing is that most JWs know in their gut how bad the Society's music is. The typical congregation sings so quietly that you can barely hear the average JW's voice. Many times I've heard an elder or a CO "encourage" the congregation to sing loud, but that usually dies out after a few weeks.
I think that this shows a basic flaw in the JW religion -- it has no soul. And people whose souls are suppressed will not hesitate to lie, distort or misrepresent whatever they need to in order to get to their goal -- in this case, earning 'salvation'.
AlanF
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40
The Horse's Ass Award for May 2001
by seven006 inin every news group, discussion board and chat room there seems to be a few individuals that never seem to completely grasp the art of thinking.
their need to disrupt and irritate reach superstar status in the realm of stupidity.
the desire for attention and recognition though sophomoric post's and chat room spamming becomes as much a part of the entire internet experience as the valuable and useful contributions of others.
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AlanF
TR, your picture shows that Fredhall is in the groove, alright.
I think the lineup for the next few months worth of awards is pretty obvious.
AlanF
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The BRCI Conference
by larc inare any of you going to the brci conference in waterloo, canada?
it should be coming up soon, in a matter of weeks.
they are a really good group of x's.
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AlanF
BRCI stands for Biblical Research and Commentary International. Larc had a pretty good description of most of the people associated with that group. A superb group of people, for the most part. It's in no way a religion, or even a religious group, but a loose association of people with certain similar goals and beliefs. Most of them are Christians, but far from the in-your-face Fundy types. If I wanted to be a Christian, I'd probably associate with them. They're basically non-trinitarian, but don't care much what people privately believe about such details. Most of the people dislike the Fundy types because they're so much like JWs. The Beacon website is only loosely associated with BRCI because Ros, the site owner, is loosely associated with them. Tina, your experience is the rare exception, not the rule, in my experience.
AlanF