Should I ask to be taken out of the school?

by lola28 39 Replies latest jw friends

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  defd

  So you suggest that I go to my BOE and say "Hi brothers I just wanted you to know that I ; am an active member at an apostate board, all the things that I have learned there have made me question whether we really have the truth, thats why I am no longer a pioneer, why I don't come to meetings or go out in service."

  Do you realize how fast they would DF me? Tell me Dfed how did this work out for you? I am not suggesting that at all sis. What I am saying is YOU have legitimate complaints about how things go and are being done within the Hall. Tell them those things. I did that, as a matter of fact Just last week I wote a long list of complaints and gave it to each one of them. I mentioned names and specific problems and actually told them they are not doing a good job.The Elders are not PRIEST, that we have to go to them for EVERY little perceived sin.
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  ButtLight

  Tell them that you get too nervous on stage, which causes you to get diareah,and your afraid of shi**ing yourself up there!
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  defd

  If you start giving them all kinds of excuses they will only try to work with you more.
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  lola28

  Well brother it sounds to me like you were less than honest with the elders.It is one thing to compalin about the congragation, they can live with that, but if you begin to question the society, well then you are in deep trouble. You and I both know that if our BOEs found out we were here they would df us.
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  defd

  Sis the question you posted was should I ask to be taken out of the school! I gave my opinion and I am sorry if it didnt suite you. I do not want to argue with you. I personally do not care what the Elders think of me. If I know I am pleasing Jehovah that is all that counts in my book. Obviously you have a problem with this "APOSTATE SITE" because you keep mentioning it. Or could it be you are implying something on my behalf? What ever it is, that is something that you have to deal with. SORRY I said anything!

  D.
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  lola28

  Brother you telling me to go to elders and be honest about EVERYTHING is like the alcoholic telling the drug addict to stop using.

  Touched a nerve didn’t I?

  Lola
• 

  Doubtfully Yours

  Do what I did.

  I never really asked to be removed, but just kept having last minute health/other emergencies that prevented me from attending on the night I happened to be scheduled to give a part.

  After about 6 or 7 times that I pulled some stunt and didn't show up, they got the point and I haven't been scheduled to give a part for over 3 years now.

  SO WONDERFUL!!!

  DY
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  Mysterious

  Well if you decide to cancel last minute or no show then profess "female problems" to the elder responsible for the school. Most JW elders are notoriously prudish, more so than most and he should let you off the hook. Hey excuse to miss the meeting too maybe or at least sit in the back row with the crying babies and a good paperback novel.

  I agree though, personal stress is a good way to ask to be taken off. Just tell him your nerves cant handle it. Fake a nervous breakdown on stage for convincing maybe. Drop all your notes doing a standup presentation, strand your householder and run to the bathroom and cry.

  Personally the last talk I was assigned to before leaving sat on the coffee table with me not working on it for 2 months. Mom nagged and nagged then decided it would make me/her/jehovah look bad if I didnt have it prepared so she did it up for me...I went over it anemically with her as my practice householder. Night of the talk came. I got home from school and went to bed "sick". I never go to bed unless Im deathly ill and I never take naps. She asked me straight up if I was doing it to avoid doing the talk and I said of course not. That was as far as it went.

  I knew people here who never used their assigned householder anyway because they liked to play favorites with someone they were comforable with. Several aunts of mine were not in the school out of nerves and people never looked on them badly. Though there was one woman in her 90's doing talks still making everyone look bad. Nearly blind and could hardly walk up the stairs, quite hard of hearing too. I always hated it when they assigned me to be her householder. Always had to go over it a million times and always at her house too. She talked slow and didnt grasp things so well.
• 

  atypical

  After I started having extreme panic attacks every time I was asked to read, pray, or give talks, I tried just cancelling each time I had a talk. However, it seemed that the TMSO was trying to call my bluff, because even after almost two years of this, he was still regularly giving me assignments. I was even starting to get comments from others at the hall that I never showed up for my talks. Finally I pulled the TMSO aside and tried to be honest, telling him I was having trouble with my nerves and would like to be taken off of the school for awhile. He tried to talk me out of it but eventually said ok.

  That was about 8 years ago. Since then I have never rejoined the school, and even though it is supposedly voluntary, I was never really given other privileges. Anytime I would ask about being used for sound, etc, I got asked why I wasn't on the school. I think it is much harder for brothers to shy away from the school than sisters because of the difference in how they are viewed by jws.

  Lola, I always like to think that honesty is the best policy, but in this case it really hasn't worked out for me. Being honest about my panic attacks has only led to brothers blaming it on other things, ie - not enough faith, ashamed of a secret sin, not trusting Jehovah, etc. At my hall they have even started giving counsel during the Ministry School that being nervous is not an excuse to avoid giving talks because everyone gets nervous and the only way to get over it is to give more talks. By the way, I gave talks for 16 years (my first number 2 was when I was 4 years old, and had regular assignments until I stopped at about 20 years old), so I don't think it's a matter of making excuses.

  Unfortunately, I think it's a game that has to be played in order to not attract too much attention to yourself (if that is your aim). I have found that the best way to deflect pressure from the brothers is to act as though they are making me discouraged and taking away any motivation I have to progress. This seems to work extremely well and usually sends them running the other way.

  Just my 2 cents worth.
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  colorado5591

  I liked doing parts on the TMS, but I am an attention whore!