How to spot a millionaire!

upside/down

Ain't dat du sh*t?

u/d (of the lifes not fair class)

8 things you'll never hear a man say:

8) Here honey, you use the remote.

7) You know, I'd like to see her again, but her breasts are just too big.

6) Ooh, Antonio Banderas AND Brad Pitt? That's one movie I gotta see!

5) While I'm up, can I get you anything?

4) Sex isn't that important, sometimes I just want to be held.

3) Aww, forget Monday night football, let's watch "Opra After The Show"

2) Hey, let me hold your purse while you try that on.

1) We never talk anymore.

8 things you'll never hear a woman say :

8) What do you mean today's our anniversary?

7) Can we not talk to each other tonight? I'd rather just watch TV.

6) Ohh, this diamond is way to big!

5) Can our relationship get a little more physical? I'm tired of being 'just friends'

4) Honey, does this outfit make my butt look too small?

3) Aww, don't stop for directions, I'm sure you'll be able to figure out how to get there.

2) I don't care if it's on sale, 300 dollars is way to much for a designer dress.

And ..... drumroll please

upside/down

Here's another one Imy personal favourite is the last one):

you can see right through them.

to warm them up again. It's an effective reproductive device if the

right buttons are pushed, but can wreak havoc if the wrong buttons are

pushed.

to light a fire under it, and of course, there's the hot air part.

bottom.

years, but it's handy to have around.

this -- it gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he

doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying

upside/down

Men Are Just Happier People--

What do you expect from such simple creatures?

Your last name stays put.

The garage is all yours.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

Chocolate is just another snack.

You can be President.

You can never be pregnant.

You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.

You can wear NO shirt to a water park.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

The world is your urinal.

Same work, more pay.

Wrinkles add character.

Wedding dress - $5000.

Tux rental-$100.

People never stare at your chest when you are talking to them.

One mood all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

A 5-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

You can open all of your own jars.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

You almost never have strap problems in public.

Everything on your face stays its original color.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe even decades.

You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life.

Your belly usually hides your big hips.

One wallet, one pair of shoes, and one color for all seasons.

You can wear shorts no matter what/ how your legs look.

You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier.