So you used to be...

by onacruse 19 Replies latest jw friends

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  onacruse

  When I stubbed my toe last night and characterized a long-time poster here as still being an elder (for which I apologize), and then this morning, reflecting on the meaning of that, the question came to me:

  What does it matter?

  There have been so many "persons of authority"-- ministerial servants, elders, Bethelites, even district overseers (as I've heard)-- who have posted, and continue to post, on this discussion board. In some ways, do we tend to show them the same kind of deference we showed them when we were JWs? Is it really important who, or what, they were (or are)? In fact, wouldn't those who once "led the flock" (and that certainly includes me) be the most culpable, and the most worthy of disdain?...and the most expected to recognize and acknowledge their responsibility in that respect?

  I'm not throwing darts at anyone here, for if I did, I'd have lots of blood on myself.

  Isn't the "leveling" of the playing field one of the most helpful, and healing, aspects of the discussions we have here?

  Respectfully to all,

  Craig
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  Lady Lee

  It has long been my belief that some men stay in the WTS because it gives them a certain measure of importance they would never get in the real world. I know my ex was one of those. And I think he will stay (sadly for my daughters sake I wish that was different)

  I really do admire those who had some degree of authority to walk away from it all. Many have posted here and shared their knowledge of how things work in the higher circles. By doing that I think they redeem themselves for whatever hardships they were forced to put on the R&F.

  I think many have been forced into a "crisis of conscience" and had to follow that instead of the orders from on high. And just like the rest of us and maybe even moreso they are termed the worst of the apostates. It is kind of hard to say they were just weak. After all they got appointed to their positions because they were supposedly strong in the faith.
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  ballistic

  I think you'll find there's a high number of people on this board who had positions. The people who took "the truth" seriously seem to have the right make up to want to join a board discussing after leaving. We all know people who didn't take it seriously, growing up in it, drifted away and would probably never bother with posting here. A random sample at an apostfest turns up elders, pioneers, m/servants, their wives, etc.
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  jgnat

  Having not shared the ex-JW experience, sometimes I've had to work HARD to fit in here. My stomach does sink when a fence-sitting ex-JW gets the "aren't you disobeying mother for being here?" speech. We are all here for our own reasons, and shouldn't have to justify it to anybody.

  A phenomenon of internet life is "he who posts most" is remembered. Even taking a week off from posting can move you to the "who is he?" category. I mourned the loss of Jourles for a year, and I thought it most embarrassing that most "forgot" him when he came back (or had arrived before he came on the scene). A friend of mine who posts here rarely, asks me on occassion to post a question for her. She knows if I post it, there will be a better response than if she tries to.

  I think it takes WORK to welcome, include, and listen to the newbies as they post their first thread, or lay out their ideas for public scrutiny.
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  HappyDad

  Hi Craig,

  In fact, wouldn't those who once "led the flock" (and that certainly includes me) be the most culpable, and the most worthy of disdain?...and the most expected to recognize and acknowledge their responsibility in that respect?

  That includes me too Craig. But the way I look at it.....whether a publisher, MS, elder, PO, CO, DO or higher, we only did what we were trained to do and believed it was God ordained to do it. I don't think we are worthy of ANY disdain whatsoever because of this. After all........we now have punched our way out of the proverbial paper bag. And whatever regrets we have.......whoever we may have hurt along the way......(now that's the thing that can still bother me if I dwell on it).....is all in the past.

  I have made up my mind that if I ever run into anyone I may have counseled in a negative way........I will apologize to them and explain that I am a different person with a different perspective today. Doing some volunteer work with ex drug addicts....ex alchohol addicts.........and ex cons.........I have learned a lot from those who have truely turned their life around. What they did in the past is gone. What they are doing now to benefit themselves and others is what matters. Likewise for us!

  Hug your wife for me.

  HappyDad
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  stillajwexelder

  I agree with this statement Isn't the "leveling" of the playing field one of the most helpful, and healing, aspects of the discussions we have here?

  Women are worthless apart from doing the bulk of the ministry in the WTBTS - but on this board; some of the people I respect most are women - Blondie and Leolaia jump immediately to mind but there are so many others and I do not want to list them as it would be disrespectful of those I missed off --- so yes - levelling the playing field and especially from a teaching angle - I have learned a huge amount from women on this board whereas in WT land women are not allowed to teach. We are all equal and that is healing and good.
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  Puternut

  Craig,

  I am sorry you stubbed your toe, but the good thing is that you made a great post.

  No, it doesn't matter what we were labeled, and having been out for some time now, I am appreciating the equality among all humans. No one is greater or better, once we learn acceptance of the divine within each of us and can express unconditional love for anyone, we can have peace of heart.

  I wish you all the best,

  Ary
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  tfsm

  Just before I decided to reply to this I noticed that everybody else has like 5 or more thousand posts and I have like 12 or something.

  But here goes... The people that weren't lurkers in the meetings in the KH, the people that commented and answered questions and were active rose through the "ranks". It seems the same here with the exception of the gender issue. That to me is what makes this so nice. You can look around and see everybody's contributions (male or female) and benefit from their support. I was (for the most part) raised a witness and it was hard work for me to comment at meetings and go out in service but I did it because I thought I could help someone (until I realized what a crock of sh t it was). Now that I am out and have been out long enough to not carry much baggage from it, I would like to help ex-witnesses get on with their life.
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  stillajwexelder

  Just before I decided to reply to this I noticed that everybody else has like 5 or more thousand posts and I have like 12 or something.

  exactly the point of the thread as I understand it - "RANK" is not important - ALL can contribute
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  OldSoul

  That, I think, is what I like most about Shadow. He does not hold himself above others. Great post, Craig. Leveling is an awesome event.

  Respectfully,
  OldSoul