My Journey

Andrea Wideman

My journey to find a religion I could believe in wholeheartedly started as a young adult. I was raised as a Catholic but couldn't say for certain that I believed all that I was taught.
I had a mother who was a Catholic and a father who was a divorced Protestant. Before they were wed a priest came to the house and begged my mom not to marry my dad because if she did she wouldn't be able to receive the sacraments. When it was time for me to receive my First Holy Communion another priest approached her and said if she went to confession and never slept with my dad again then she could receive the sacraments.
I was aware of all of these things growing up and it hurt me deeply that the church I went to rejected my parents' union. That the details of my father's divorce didn't matter to them. They who preached about following the bible didn't bother to find out if he had grounds for a biblical divorce.
So as a teenager I went searching for a religion I could cling to. I did research others and even went to a few different churches but what I found out was that they all seemed pretty much the same. So why change.
A few years passed by and I decided to go away to school. There I met my husband, Joel, and he and I talked about many things but not that he was raised as a JW. I didn't find out that detail until the night he proposed to me in a Catholic church parking lot, right after we attended mass together. There he was crying, saying that he loved me, and wanted to marry me but that he was raised as a JW. I didn't know what that meant then. I didn't really find out about the details of his religion until after we were wed.
I was raised that the woman worshipped God as her husband did. So I decided to study with the JW's. My mom promptly threw us out and we were homeless for two weeks. We found shelter with someone who would let us stay at her apartment if we cleaned it and got it ready for new tenants. She was staying with someone else. The place was a mess and we had very little to eat. The only way my mom would take me back would be for me to be a Catholic. So that is what I did do. Now I must mention here that at the time my head was being filled with tales of JW's looking out for their own, even people studying. So I did seek help from the JW's I was studying with but they didn't really have any practical advice.
Well like I said I went back to being Catholic and my mom let me and my husband return. I stopped studying and focused on being a better Catholic. I had another child. Several years pass and now I have a child who will soon need to get signed up for CCD classes. Well here is where I start asking myself questions about whether or not I really believe in the Catholic doctrine I was taught. I honestly couldn't say I did and certainly couldn't raise my child in that faith. I was full of questions and desperately seeking a faith for my family.
My mother-in-law, who is a JW, gave me a book that really seemed to answer my questions. This seemed like the answer to my prayers. I thought this is it! I was so happy. I started studying with the JW's regulary and everything seemed to be fine. My husband was able to support us now so financially we were okay. As I progressed in the organization everything seemed okay except for little things. I was told that my committment was doubtful because I only owned one dress. It was all I could afford. There was inequality of treatment between those converting and those who were raised and baptized JW's and their kids. They redecorated the hall with chairs I couldn't fit in and on the day I was baptized I didn't fit in those seats either. This all caused me pain.
As time went on the pain increased when I was constantly pressured to bring Joel with me to the meetings. This was a place I was told I would be loved and was treated not with love but criticism. As time went on the criticism got worse. In the end all I could do was to stop going to meetings. Time passed and I was still praying and calling myself a JW; then Joel came to me and pointed out conflicting doctrines and outright lies I was told by the JW's, now here I am with those old questions again. What do I teach my kids? Where do I belong?
Also I previously I was doing soul searching already so when Joel showed me the new information I realized I couldn't stay. So I decided to just be a Christian and write my letter of disassociation. I can't say I am sorry to have been a JW but I outgrew that religion. Now I am on a path that fits me better. I can more easily tell my kids what I believe. I still love God and pray to him constantly.
I am still on my journey but now I feel stronger and know more about what I want in my religious life and what I don't. When I was a Catholic there was lots of rules I had to follow and they controlled me through threats of hell. When I was JW I was told that they were different than that but as I progressed found out very differently. They had lots of doctrine set up by Governing Body and the threat was being disfellowhsipped.
My choice to just be a Christian has filled me and my family with happiness. I was worried that they wouldn't understand but instead was surprised because they saw things more clearly than me and already were planning on leaving JW's when grown. This is our first year celebrating holidays and other stuff we couldn't do because of JW rules. This is our first year of not being controlled or threatened by a religion that was supposed to be loving. I am extremely grateful to God for this beautiful opportunity.

Soledad

that's a very touching story. Welcome to the board!

jgnat

Welcome, Andrea!

Many years ago I read a futurist report that predicted that in this age there would be a rise in spirituality, both fundamentalist-type and new-ager type. The article, neutral in it's own stance, explained to the reading audience that though the goals of these two groups were very similar, they were virulently opposed. The article gave me much food for thought. Why do they hate each other so bad? Because, through "faith", they had to believe that their way was the only way. And by default, the other wrong.

So yes, in a weird way, the Catholics and their Pope and the Witnesses and their Governing Body are very, very similar.

Joel Wideman

I'm surprised it happened as fast as it did. I always speak my mind, which is to say I complain endlessly about everything. But I underestimated the affect it had.

alw

Thankyou for posting Andrea - it was lovely to read that you are enjoying your life with your partner and family as a complete unit without any bad conscience. Enjoy the rest of your journey and thanks again for the encouragement. alw

skinnyboy

Welcome andrea. Your story is so familiar yet personal, everyone on here has the same stories to tell. Your amongst real friends now who won't judge you because of your wardrobe, or magazine placements. Good luck in your endeavours, trust yourself to make your descisions, because you ultimately live the consequences, no one else.

Peace

Mark

trevor

Andrea Wideman
Yours is a touching story. It seems that you have walked the same path as many others who
journey to find a religion. The search for truth has occupied people’s thoughts, shaped their dreams, and been the cause of many struggles throughout history. Eternal life has been seen as the ultimate quest since the beginning of time.

Religions of the world have sought to show that this goal can only be achieved through belief in a higher being – a supreme spirit and believing their version of truth. In return for their explanations, religions exert control over their followers.

Have you ever considered a belief system that is free of control by men, mediators and religion - a direct and immediate connection with the source of life?

trevor

TheListener

Wow. Thanks for sharing. What an interesting story. It's great to have you both here.

sweet tee

Welcome to the board Andrea! Liberating oneself from controlling religions is essential to family happiness IMHO. Congratulations on your spiritual awakening. All it takes to be close to God is to open the door for oneself by means of prayer. The rest is subjective.

sweet tee

coffee_black

Welcome! You'll find a lot of people here who understand what you're feeling.

Coffee

My Journey

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