Did Your Experience As A Witness REALLY "Damage" You?

by Englishman 40 Replies latest jw friends

  • shera
    shera

    For the 5 yrs or so I was involved with the JW's it did damage me,for sure.The control did something to this day,I can over react if I feel like I'm being controled.I am working on it tho,I just tell people I am going to think the way I want and do what I want.I'm not hurting anyone and I can't hurt a bug.So if I'm not hurting anyone its all good.To add,I never harp on someone or get at em for not agreeing with my way of believing or thinking. Each to their own.(just don't hurt anyone)

    I did have alot of anixety attacks before I started comming to these boards,everynite I was waking up and freaking that armageddon was here. There was many times,I would still be half asleep,running down the hallways for my kids and even calling out their names.As I'm typing that out,that ticks me off! Damn cult.

    I have gotton over alot and I have no anixety anymore.I am at peace but there is still a few glitches that I'm working on.So ,I cannot imagine how hard it must be for people who have grown up in it,or have been in for most of their lives. I feel and hope the best for you all,time will heal. ***hugs***

    ~Heather

  • damselfly
    damselfly


    No.

    I would say that it didn't damage me. emotionaly stunted sure, but damaged no.

    It's like I was a little clay figure and someone squeezed me between their hands. I'm no longer that same clay figure but I'm still me. A little more misshappen then I would have been but the basic struture is still there. Some may not appreciate what I am now, others see that there's still beauty.

    Did that make any sense at all?

    Dams

  • garybuss
    garybuss

    Life is a trip. There's a highway to living. While I was a Witness, I stayed in the parking garage.
    A parent's primary job is to prepare the children for life. My parents prepared me for death. All they really taught me was how to hustle some stranger out of ten cents for a couple of religious magazines. I was not taught ethics, but instead I was taught how to manipulate and trick and be deceptive, like the Society does with the donation arrangement.
    I wasn't taught love, I was taught conditional acceptance. I was taught a skewed outlook on money. I was taught that all earned income was for selfish pleasure and gratification, not family security, comfort, medical care, emergencies, and retirement.
    In my 40's I really had to look at everything in my brain. It was ALL wrong. I threw it all out and only kept the multiplication tables.
    The ONLY Witnesses who can have a good life are skeptics. It's impossible for a true believer to be educated, have a rewarding career, plan and follow through for retirement, and still follow Society suggestions and guidelines. To do what the Witnesses say is required for salvation requires sacrifice that the group leaders are not making themselves, not near.
    To be a Governing Body following Jehovah's Witness, a person can't have a good life. They need to live a life of organizational servitude with minimal education, live a short sighted life working a menial job, with virtually no private savings or plans for retirement.
    It's not so much was I damaged AS a Witness? as my life was damaged BY Witnesses.
    I left Witness group association when I was 30 but I didn't begin to process out all the bad core beliefs until I was about 48.
    My worst time was my 18 years as an inactive believing walkaway. Now is the best time.

  • trevor
    trevor

    If we can not get past the anger we felt at being conned then we remain damaged. If we can get past that and see the bigger picture, then we can reach a level of understanding that can only come through surviving painful experiences.

    The hardest lessons teach us the most. Experience changes us and we grow through coping with pain. I guess what I am saying in answer to the question, is that it all depends on how we use the lessons we have learned.

    What we have been through can make us capable of great unconditional love. On the other hand it can make us angry, bitter and wasted.

    To avoid ending up damaged we have to stop reinventing the past and sabotaging our futures.

    What about me? Well we do not see ourselves as others see us - so you will have to make your own judgement about that from my posts!

  • scotsman
    scotsman
    What about me? Well we do not see ourselves as others see us - so ;you will have to make your own judgement about that from my posts!

    It has indeed damaged you Trevor, and trapped you in perpetual analysis.

  • Dragonlady76
    Dragonlady76

    I don't feel damaged, but I can never recover my lost childhood.

    DL76

  • trevor
    trevor

    Scotsman


    Your analysis is very perceptive.


    Trevor the wise old coot.

  • Sassy
    Sassy

    damaged?

    very much so..

    every relationship with my family has been hurt

    I still get anxiety attacks sometimes..

    I can't drive by blocks of residential housing without thinking about walking up the sidewalks to preach to them.. which was very difficult for me.. so it gives me anxiety.. I could go on and on..

  • dedpoet
    dedpoet

    I don't think that anyone who gets involved with a high control group like the jws can come out of it completely unscathed. I spent about 9 years in the cult, and when I left and went out into the world again my social life was virtually non existent, I really didn't know how to have one. That, and the knowledge that I had been well and truly duped by the jws were the most damaging things I sufferred. Now I do have an active social life, and am getting over the anger, albeit slowly, so I guess that at least the damage wasn't permanent

  • coolhandluke
    coolhandluke

    In no attempt to resurrect Nietzsche I believe that I am a stronger person from the entire experience. I know what makes me, me and what I can tolerate. I am such a child by some standards, but I believe a quick study. I missed silly things as a kid, cartoons, etc. I have lost my friends and family temporarily as far as I'm concerned. The gains though are immesureable. It is what it is. Damaged, no. Halted as to growth yes. Halt though has given birth to true forward motion. I am so proud of that.

    Prophecor ~ Damn dude. Thanks for sharing. Comments like those keep me going knowing that I'm not alone. Thank you.

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