My Dad Isn't There Anymore

by BrendaCloutier 35 Replies latest social family

  • delilah
    delilah

    (((((((((((((((BRENDA)))))))))))))) We are going through the same thing with my grandfather, although he is in the nursing home. He does not know us, he can get very violent, and when they drug him, he sleeps all the time.....I hate seeing him like this. It's not him, and if he knew how he was acting, he'd be horrified. My mom and her siblings can't handle it. So they don't visit him very often. I see him every day. I don't like to see him like this either, but I love him dearly. He's my hero.

    Delilah

  • mrsjones5
    mrsjones5

    So sorry Brenda for what you are going through .

    Both of my grandmothers died of Alzheimer's and it's a cruel and unforgiving way to die. My mother took care of my grandmother (actually her grandmother who raised her as her own) until she was placed in a home (mother didnt want to but she had to because taking care of my grandmother (who was actually my great-grandmother) meant mother also had to take care of my real grandmother (Grandma's daughter, who is mentally unstable) and my brother (who is mentally and phyisically disabled). Before Grandma was placed, when she would have moments of lucidity, she would cry because she knew what was happening to her.

    *Sob* I miss my Grandma!

    Josie

  • Ingenuous
    Ingenuous

    I lost my maternal grandmother to Alzheimers, my maternal grandfather to kidney failure. {{{{{Brenda}}}}}

  • cruzanheart
    cruzanheart

    My mother died as a result of Alzheimer's this past February. It is so hard to watch them slip away from you inch by inch. The only saving grace is that you do your grieving for each piece of them that you lose, and by the time they die it's a relief that they are finally done with their torturous journey. The other blessing is that they are not aware of any pain that their failing bodies may be experiencing.

    Stay strong, Brenda.

    Hugs,

    Nina

  • karen96
    karen96

    ((((((((((Brenda)))))))))

    It must be extremely hard for you to watch your dad this way. You are in my thoughts in prayers.

    karen

  • Billygoat
    Billygoat

    ((((((((Brenda)))))))))

    My MIL volunteers at the local Alzheimer's nursing home with her therapy dogs. She always has the neatest (and sometimes sad) stories of the characters that live in that facility. One sweet lady, that reminds her of the granny in Wedding Singer, always asks, "What kind of dog is that?" My MIL patiently answers every week, "It's a Newfoundland." And the lady always smiles real big and says, "There was a lady here just last week with a dog like that." My sweet MIL sits and talks with her Alzheimer friends every Saturday morning. Sometimes they remember her, sometimes they don't. She has the patience of a saint as she has the same conversations with some of them week after week. It does her soul good to do it as many of these patients do not have family check in on them as they get advanced in their illness. It's one of the reasons why I adore my MIL. She's such an amazing woman.

    I'm so glad you made your peace with your dad while he was well. I'm sure it's a good feeling.

    Andi

  • Es
    Es

    Oh hun, thats terriable...thinking of you

    es

  • under74
    under74

    Sorry Brenda...can't come up with much to say but that.

  • hooberus
    hooberus

    Sorry about the situation with your father. I will pray for him.

    Here is a tract that can be read to anyone:

    http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/12/74945/1.ashx

  • Balsam
    Balsam

    Brenda,

    Warm hugs for this bad period in your life. I went through the life ending periods with both my parents some years ago. It was extremely draining. I cared for both of them till the end in my own home. It certainly deteriorated my own health though. Your Mom caring for your Dad will weaken her further. I think this is why so many spouses pass on shortly after their mates die.

    Warm Hugs,

    Balsam

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