Wanna be an elder? This book will get you your stripes in 6 months!

by AlmostAtheist 4 Replies latest jw friends

  • AlmostAtheist
    AlmostAtheist

    Wanna be an elder? This book will get you your stripes in 6 months!

    FROM PUBLISHER TO ELDER IN SIX MONTHS (Click for details and ordering info)

    I just read a very entertaining book by a "brother" who wants to help Joe Publisher become Elder Joseph. It addresses the common problems brothers have in being appointed:

    *) Came into the truth studying with Sister Nobody
    *) Wears the same suit/shirt/tie to every meeting
    *) Sits in the back
    *) Low field service time

    The book shows how even those in the most doomed of circumstances -- brought to baptism by a nobody, poor, works two jobs, lower caste -- can rise through the ranks and be an elder.

    It suggests attaching yourself to the Presiding Overseer like a remora. Study with him, meet with his group, comment at the meetings and mention him by name.

    Switch up the clothes, but only a little (think 1950's)

    Sit up front, but not the front row. Second or third row, middle section.

    Most important, get your service report up. Show up for the service meeting, make a few poignant comments on the Day's Text, then pull the "I have a study this morning, so my wife and I will go alone" bit. Then head home for margaritas and wait for your elder-ship to sail!

    The writing is good enough to keep you on board, and it's short enough that you'll tear through it in an hour or two. There are plenty of "yep, seen that happen" moments, and even some, "Wow, I never thought of that!"

    It's not the cheapest laugh you'll ever have, but I'm cheap as hell and I think it was worth it. Grab a copy, you won't regret it. (And they make great Christmas gifts for all the not-yet-elders in your life!)

    Dave

  • upside/down
    upside/down

    You had me sold... till the bit about Christmas gifts...

    Brother...don't you know that Christmas is "pagan"...

    It's ten Hail Mary's and a Ben Franklin in the pot or you're going straight to hell!

    u/d(of the lol class)

  • skyman
    skyman

    I am all most sold. But the only problem I would only read it for intertainment since I not going any more.

  • Lilycurly
    Lilycurly

    Lol! I sometimes have difficulty to identify sarcasm...those reviews and comments on the site, are they actual comments from actual elder wannabes?lol

  • Honesty
    Honesty
    Most important, get your service report up. Show up for the service meeting, make a few poignant comments on the Day's Text, then pull the "I have a study this morning, so my wife and I will go alone" bit. Then head home for margaritas and wait for your elder-ship to sail!

    It is essential that you either have a garage to hide the car in or a place to park it around back in the event a car group 'just happens' to be on a RV in your neighborhood while you are out on a study.

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