A 'concerned friend' coming for coffee at 1:30 - HELP!

by GoingGoingGone 24 Replies latest jw friends

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  GoingGoingGone

  I just got a phone call from a really good friend of mine. Her husband is an elder, and a good friend of my husband's. Well, Sunday my husband had the public talk in our KH, and they took him to lunch afterwords. My daughter had gone to a meeting earlier in the day, and my son was sick and home with me. So, my very direct friend and her elder husband (who is very kind and caring) were alone at lunch with my husband. I have been wondering ever since Sunday what they talked about ....NOT!! I know that I was the topic of conversation, at some length, I'm sure.

  So now my friend just called and asked if she could stop by for coffee before she goes to work. She hasn't seen me in so long..... As I said, she is VERY direct, she is a die-hard dub, and she has asked me before what she can do to help me get back to meetings..... HELP!!! What do I say if she asks something????? I just want to fade, mostly because of my kids at this point, so I don't want to arouse any suspicion on my friend's part. How can I answer something like, 'What can I do to help you get back to meetings?'

  Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!!

  GGG
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  damselfly

  Is there any way you can just gently tell her that you have been busy, involved with the children, very tired? I know these aren't very helpful but I am assuming by your post that you aren't about to blurt "Never!" I would probably thank her for her concern, say I appreciate her effort but I am fine thanks.

  Dams
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  rebel8

  Try saying, "thanks so much for your concern, you are such a nice person. i prefer not to get into that right now." then rapidly launch into discussing a different topic.
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  ithinkisee

  She is direct? Die hard?

  If she does the car salesman pitch .... "WHAT WOULD IT TAKE to get you back to meeting?"

  Simply say "I know what it would take and I am working on it. As the Society says, my relationship with Jehovah is deeply personal and I am working through some things."

  You could even add, "Like I said, I know what it would take, and pressure - even well-meaning pressure - is not what that is."

  -ithinkisee
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  Finally-Free

  Personally I don't think being tactful or making excuses works. JWs are experts at getting around this. I would just say that "I appreciate their concern, but I know where the kingdom hall is and am perfectly capable of getting there if I choose to do so. And no, I don't want to discuss my reasons. Pressuring me to come to meetings will only serve to strengthen my resolve to stay away."

  W
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  Stealth

  Tell you that you are depressed that you appreciate her concern but there is nothing she can do to help, then change the subject. If she brings it up again, repeat the previous statement and change the subject again. Continue until she gets a clue.
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  Legolas

  Personally I don't think being tactful or making excuses works. JWs are experts at getting around this. I would just say that "I appreciate their concern, but I know where the kingdom hall is and am perfectly capable of getting there if I choose to do so. And no, I don't want to discuss my reasons. Pressuring me to come to meetings will only serve to strengthen my resolve to stay away."

  W

  My thoughts exactly!!!!!

  Way to go Finally-Free
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  GoingGoingGone

  You guys are great! CYP - Yes, she is absolutely the type to do the car-salesman pitch.. I love your suggestion.

  I tend to be very evasive in situations like this, but she's the type that will come after you.. Well meaning, I'm sure, but hard to wiggle out of answering. I'll have to use those more direct-and-to-the-point suggestions if she doesn't let up!

  GGG
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  vitty

  Depression is always a good one, and then you could say, that at the moment you cant face ppl and the meetings give you panic attacks !!!

  You can also say " so at this time you are relying on Jehovah, Cos hell take care of you ".

  Personely, I played this one, although since I was feely great it was hard to say it, but I got no more visits or phone calls. They just hate depressed ppl.
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  Sassy

  I like the depression excuse..

  JWs understand depression.. and it will deter any thoughts that you are questioning the WTS