how to deal with a break up.please help?

by fleaman uk 60 Replies latest jw experiences

  • fleaman uk
    fleaman uk

    Well,my Brother wouldnt take no for an answer...hes coming round with a crate of Carlsberg export.Should dull the pain a tad.

    Isnt it a weird thing,the pain of breaking up with someone you genuinely care for ..beyond the sexual aspect.

    However crazy the Jw,s were (and most of the teachings are)the one thing they did get right was the importance of love of personality.

    Tomorrows another day i suppose.

  • GetBusyLiving
    GetBusyLiving

    ..go easy on the beers dude..

    GBL

  • fleaman uk
    fleaman uk

    Avi

    Back at ya Bud!I hear you too...the average Male ego is a very fragile thing lol.But Trust me ...Fleaman doesnot want serious after this.

    In ten minutes time my two Brothers will be here and we will be drinking .i will be raising a can or five to the many wonderful and kind people on this forum.

  • Sassy
    Sassy

    sounds like you found things to do . which will help..

    breakups are hard..

    my relationship, as much as I love my bf isn't very good.. and he has deserved to be kicked to the curb ten times.. or more.. yeah more..

    but I think I'm dreading what you are going through, so I keep forgiving him and giving him more chance.........

    I guess my advice to you is hang in there.. take it one day at a time.. don't isolate yourself and keep busy if you can..

    time eases things.. but unfortunately not as fast as we need it to

  • avishai
  • fleaman uk
    fleaman uk

    Gbl

    Duly noted mate.

    Sassy

    im so sorry what you are going through...whatever you choose to do,or whatever happens i wish you the very best

  • Narkissos
    Narkissos

    Little to add here but a friendly hug, ((((((fleaman))))))

    When it hurts too much the most unbearable is the idea of time, or future...

    Bring it down to the moment being... breathe in, breathe out... tomorrow will care of itself, take care of yourself -- now.

  • talesin
    talesin

    Oh, man, I am so sorry! I know the feeling so well, from my breakup a few years ago. It feels like you wanna rip your heart out of your chest. The expression 'broken heart' is exactly how it feels.

    You asked if you should remember negative stuff? Hell no. You had a good relationship with some rocky times, and it was a good thing ... give yourself some moments to grieve, and just let the feelings flow. Don't let it go on and on,,, it may overwhelm you at times, and you need to feel the pain to get thru it. But have a cry or whatever when you need to, then say, 'okay, time to get on with my day'. Don't throw anything out, just pack it away like Shania said. You will want your remembrances for when you can look at them. And like Avi said (love ya, Avi!), whatever you do, don't get into a relationship soon.

    Have a good nite with your brothers. I'm glad you're not gonna be alone tonight.

    xo

    tal

  • wanderlustguy
    wanderlustguy

    I know this may not be the normal advice...but cut out alcohol and any other mind altering substances, you need everything you have mentally for this, at least for a while.

    Alcohol is a depressant and it doesn't stop affecting you when you aren't drunk anymore.

    My 2 cents...every time I drink, I'm on a low for a few days...bad news.

  • FlyingHighNow
    FlyingHighNow

    Fleaman, I can remember feeling like every cell in my body hurt after my marriage to my first husband broke up. Have you heard this song? It's on Neil Young's Harvest LP. Read it and look for the highlighted lines. If the break up is permanent, then here's what I've found with break ups and even deaths: it takes about six months to work through the grief stages, during which you gradually grow stronger. Then one day you wake up and the sun is shining again. Look at Mario, Utopian Reformist. He's finally back posting again and feeling more optmistic after the tragedy which befell his family.

    NEIL YOUNG LYRICS "A Man Needs A Maid"

    My life is changing
    in so many ways
    I don't know who
    to trust anymore
    There's a shadow running
    thru my days
    Like a beggar going
    from door to door.

    I was thinking that
    maybe I'd get a maid
    Find a place nearby
    for her to stay.
    Just someone
    to keep my house clean,
    Fix my meals and go away.

    A maid. A man needs a maid.
    A maid.

    It's hard to make that change
    When life and love
    turns strange.
    And cold.
    To give a love,
    you gotta live a love.
    To live a love,
    you gotta be "part of"
    When will I see you again?

    A while ago somewhere
    I don't know when
    I was watching
    a movie with a friend.
    I fell in love with the actress.
    She was playing a part
    that I could understand.

    A maid. A man needs a maid.
    A maid.

    When will I see you again?

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