Children or no Children?

by Sirona 48 Replies latest jw friends

  • shera

    ******hugs******* For Finally Free... *hopes and hopes* You get everything you deserve!

  • avishai
    *sigh* I put this on the wrong topic

    Not at all!! There are way to many "people with kids" and far to few parents in this world.If you want to have kids, how you are going to raise them is what you should think about.

  • Legolas

    I should explain my post..........Kids are great....But teenagers on the other hand are from a different planet!

    I have two... son 19 and daughter 18 in December.

    They are getting a place together Sept. 1

    They are just now coming out of that 'alien' stage and back to normal!

  • Cygnus

    princess said:

    : we didn't want to be one of those weird couples who treats their animals like they are children and call themselves "mommy" and "daddy" to the dog

    um, that's me and caty exactly

  • AlmostAtheist

    When I believed that I would never die or at the very least wind up in paradise to live eternally, giving up 20-30 years to raise and propel a child or two seemed like a no-brainer. Sure, why wouldn't I want to experience that?

    Now that I believe that this life is all you get, I'm not so sure. Yes, of course, I love my 2 children and wouldn't trade them for anything anyone could possibly offer. But it wouldn't have been selfish to not have them in the first place, on the basis of wanting to use your life to the full.

    Would a life be full if it didn't have kids in it? I think so, but it would be differently full. There's so much stress involved in having a family, so many decisions that at least at the time seem so important to make right. (Obviously they aren't since I make so many of them wrong and everything still rolls along) As mentioned earlier, the snap decisions to jump in the car and drive to Chicago for the weekend are pretty much out. You can't decide to quit your job and pursue a riskier career move, since you aren't just jeopardizing your future happiness, but that of your children.

    I have thought alot about this and I really just don't know what I would do if I had it to do all over again.

    The thing that keeps coming back to me on this is the fact that I can not recall even one individual (including me) that ever told me they regret having children. But I have met voluntarily childless people that very much wish they had decided otherwise. Perhaps on that basis, I would choose to have kids. But it isn't as clear cut in my mind, with my mortality so clearly framed now.

    How's THAT for a no-help posting? :-)


  • Finally-Free
    wanna have a pity party?

    Actually, I don't have it all that bad. I no longer have to tolerate all the excessive background noise every time I make myself a lousy peanut butter sandwich.

    For Finally Free... *hopes and hopes* You get everything you deserve!

    I hope you're not one of the people who hopes I get a good asskicking! There's still a few of them around...

    Hugs to ya Shera!


  • doofdaddy

    I vote for kids. When I was a jw and married we worried about having kids in this system.

    My daughter is now 24 and pregnant. My son is 20. They are the most special people in my life. I feel for those who listened to those dried up old men in Brooklyn who said wait for the new system.

  • Princess
    Only thing is my clock is ticking - I'm 29 and need to have kids in the next 5 years or so. Where the hell am I going to find 'the love of my life' settle down, get marriend & pregnant in such a short space of time.

    You have plenty of time. I have lots of friends who have had children in their early forties. It may not be ideal but then again, it may be perfect. Your whole life can change in a matter of months. Relax.

  • Sirona


    I don't know what to say.

    I'll consider what you've all said. I know it is a little bit like not knowing what you are missing until you actually experience it. For instance, we got Monty, our puppy, earlier this year, and I love him so much and I'm so glad we got him...and that this after years of saying I didn't want a dog. Times that by a million and maybe that is how I'd feel if I had a child.


  • stillajwexelder

    If I had my time all over again I would have kids all over again - a wonderful rewarding experience

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