Why Is Love Among Jehovah's Witnesses Now Only Third Rate?

by metatron 39 Replies latest jw friends

  • upside/down
    I cannot prove, though, that the JWs are "unloving."

    I can!

    u/d (of the likes "proof" too class)

  • minimus

    What's in 1st and 2nd place??

  • Dune

    The love is just strained. Its like you go to a meeting, and you know you're supposed to love these people. But then theres the people you just plain and simply dont like and theres the people who belittle you but in their twisted minds they're still showing love.

    Its like i'll be reading a watchtower with one of those international conventions and you see all those people smiling and hugging each other. However, when you got a REAL convention, everyone is tired, irritable and justs wants to leave. WTS tells us how one is supposed to act, and they try in vain.

    Love is such a cheap word and It shouldnt be a surprise that it will be abused in the organization.

  • LouBelle

    I thought I'd be clever in my JC and tell them that love was what Jesus said would be the identifying mark. The elder told me pretty straight that "love wasn't everything, but now see how when we are neutral, the united stand we make, that speaks volumns".......I totally disagreed. They are so wrapped up trying to please everyone else & trying to impress some God that they have no clue about that they really can't focus on anything else.

    They feel obligated to ""love"" one another. YOu can see by the actions that they obviously have little regard for most of their brothers and sisters.

  • seattleniceguy
    I just feel it's silly to quibble between listing love first and listing love third. You are assuming that the order is important, but that is not necessarily the case. A list could be created in which all that is listed is of equal importance. Now, if they didn't list love at all you would have a point.

    I have to agree with logunsrun in that ascribing large significance to the precise ordering seems tenuous at best.

    However, I agree with metatron that, however subjective the feelings of love may be, Jehovah's Witnesses are definitely lacking in it compared to normal healthy people. When it comes to genuine warmth, compassion, and open care for fellow humans, Witnesses as a whole simply do not have it. I don't think this is because the people lack the ability. I believe this is a result of the legalistic parts of the religion shutting these poor people down whenever they feel the natural desire to be loving.

    Obviously, it is well-nigh impossible to compile statistics on something like "lovingness." So it's going to be a subjective experience for each person. But in my case, there can be no room for doubt. It is very clear. The JW definition of love is a cold and shallow one indeed.


  • ithinkisee
    When a small firm, let us say, with under 100 employees, hires a new worker they are often shown a lot of attention and receive a lot of smiles and "hello's." What you describe a "love bombing" is simply normal human social behavior.

    A small firm does not hold your family hostage if you decide to leave though. It is easy to take one identifying trait ALONE and attack it, but it is several or all the cultish traits at once that identify a group as a cult.


  • logansrun
    The JW definition of love is a cold and shallow one indeed.

    I don't necessarily see it that way. A "loving act" by a JW is pretty much just like a "loving act" from a non-JW. I do believe, however, that there are elements in the Witness -- and, really, Christian -- beleif system which work against the JW/Christian concpet of love. The Witness expression of love is simply very confined.

    As further evidence against the "love bombing" argument I would point to the number of elderly Witnesses I have known over the years that were genuinely cared for -- dare I say, "loved"? -- by other members of the congregation. I have seen this time and again. If that's "love bombing" then the "period of initiation" sure is taking a long time, eh?


  • sir82

    I think the problem is the tendency to extrapolate our personal, subjective experience to the whole.

    "My congregation 'love-bombed' new recruits, then ignored them...thus all congregations, in all countries, do the same"

    "My body of elders were a cold, heartless bunch, therefore all elders everywhere are slime"

    Of course, it is impossible to objectively measure a subjective quality such as love.

    But ancedotal evidence seems to point to a general cooling off of loving acts, which can be somewhat more objectively determined.

    It has been quite disconcerting to see how, over the decades, doctrine has increasingly been used as a litmus test for whether JWs are "true Christians" or not. "We don't teach the trinity, hellfire, etc. etc., so we must be the only authentic Christians".

    Jesus spent remarkably little time instructing his followers on what to believe. He spent far more time telling them how to act.

    It really breaks my heart, JWs have such potential to do good, but they concentrate instead on enforcing "right belief", and do little more than pay lip service to charitable acts (unless they can be counted on your time slip).

    I agree that the order of the listing for the "marks" of true Chrisitanity is not so important...my question is, why is there more than one?

  • jaffacake

    Great points on this thread.

    Minimus, to answer your question, perhaps

    • 1st rate love is that we have for our enemies
    • 2nd rate love is genuine unconditional love for family & friends
    • 3rd rate love is conditional love, for those who believe as we do
  • LongHairGal


    What you said about the ministry school and sisters not talking to each other brought back a memory. The biggest reason I dropped out of the school was because I couldn't stand to be with these women. Too much headtripping.

    I felt that the women were inflicted on each other in a way that the brothers were not. The idiot who started this whole thing must have had the idea that it was a giant quilting bee and it made HIM feel good to see all the wonderful sisters working together.


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