My younger sister is coming out for a visit tomorrow. We keep it a secret from the rest of the family because I am disfellowshipped and she's not supposed to be hanging with me. We are just recently becoming closer as she is beginning to have her doubts about the Borg, and is currently on "Public Reproof" status. I don't know if I should help her in her transition by encouraging her to leave the Troof, or wait patiently and hope she makes the right descision on her own. She just turned 21 and drinks like Nick Nolte on vacation. She also has a serious potty mouth on her. She displays the exact same signs as I did when I was getting ready to leave. I can tell she is really struggling with this. I don't know her very well because I was df'd 14 years ago when she was 7 years old. I would like nothing more than to see her break free from the WTS, but am a little apprehensive to encourage her to do so because I don't want to lose what relationship with her that we have built so far. Any Ideas?
by Low-Key Lysmith 14 Replies latest jw friends
I don't know if I should help her in her transition by encouraging her to leave the Troof, or wait patiently and hope she makes the right descision on her own. She just turned 21 and drinks like Nick Nolte on vacation. She also has a serious potty mouth on her. She displays the exact same signs as I did when I was getting ready to leave.
Easy. Wait patiently and take her out partying when she comes to visit. The rest will happen naturally.
*little sis who thinks big bro's who take care of their sisters are the best* class
I wouldn't push too much, but let her know that you will be there for her no matter what she decides to do with her life. If she sees how happy you are, and knows that you won't push her one way or the other, she may feel more free to choose for herself. The old defense mechanisms drummed into her head by the JWs will not rise up so much if she doesn't feel pressured.
That's great that she is coming to visit. If it were me, I'd answer her questions, if she brings any up and then encourage her to do researh. I am sure she will have a lot of questions.As far as the drinking and cursing go, I'd keep the drinkng in moderation and take the high road when it comes to speech.
Good big brothers are hard to come by. Have a great time!
Let whatever happens take place naturally. I would do one thing proactively. Say to her "Let's make a pact. Whatever direction we take in life, family, religion, jobs, locations - that we will always stay close. Let's always have each other in our corner. Deal?"
Listen lots. Speak [sparingly] from your heart.
Well, I wouldn't push too much on the JW stuff either...BUT... you could ask her what she wants to do career wise or some kind of dream/fantasy/desire she holds and someday might want to do...and then ecourage the hell out of it. Tell her she can do anything or be anyone she wants to be and you'll be there for her. She just has to take the first steps.
i agree with everyone too. don't push her, if she's come this far by herself already, she'll probably make the rest of the leap on her own. just letting her know that you're there for her, no matter what, will make it easier for her to decide.
I agree, this is wonderful her coming out to see you. Her acting out (drinking, potty mouth) is because she may not yet have a voice to articulate all her frustrations with the JWs. She is tyring on being free and her own boss. This rebel girl will calm down as she becomes free of the strangle hold of the society. Just be there for her. Let her vent. That is very healing. Tell her how great it is to be out. Tell her about us here on the forum. Congratulations to you on regaining your little sister!!!
It would be good if you could draw her out subtly so that she asks you the questions. Even then don't say too much, maybe just direct her to some websites, such as mine at jwfacts.com, or some other ones that may touch on subjects that might interest her.