by tijkmo 48 Replies latest social relationships
Love is really just an evolutionary mechanism acquired so we humans can mate.
Really classicist? So how do we explain all the people i love and have no desire to mate with and will never mate with?
Tij - I love that phrase this - hope does not srping eternal - it drives a man insane. I expect to hear that in one of your songs!
hey crumpet...if i can quote other people i can darn sure quote myself
hope....is a line from a song i wrote called 'institutionalised' which was based on the shawshank redemption...but seemed applicable here in a different kind of way
maybe i will record that next and send it to you
tij
Yes, it is better to have loved and lost.
Does a mountain climber give up mountains when he takes his first tumble? Losing involves pain, but it is a sweet pain compared to loneliness.
How about a parent who has invested twenty years in a child only to lose the child to a car accident or leukemia? Ask the parent if they would do it all over again.
I was a single parent for twenty years and invested all kinds of love in my children. I have reaped my reward for that investment. Yet I yearned for a partner all those years. In my opinion, I waited too long, trying to avoid the mistake I made with my first husband. Sometimes it is better to make a flawed leap than to sit safely on the ground.
Is there anyone who hasnt loved? Maybe civil servants or junior sales managers perhaps.
Im guessing there are a few more people who have not been loved (my partner knows two of 'em and its not hard to figure out why!)
Im a serial faller-in-love. Its a pain in the ass!
Billygoat, if I'd been lied to by anyone I trusted enough to love, I think it would seriously derange my understanding of love and romance, at least for a while. That's never happened to me yet.
I remember laying in bed one night (with said ex) after some very emotionally and physically unfulfilling love-making. As he lay snoring, I lay quietly sobbing. How is it that I had this huge capacity to love and yet never received enough love in a relationship to satisfy me? It really was like I had a hole in my heart. No matter how they acted/treated me, it could never be filled. I always knew I loved my men more than they loved me. I remember that night, as my sobbing stilled, coming to the depressing conclusion that I would never be loved as much as I loved. What was wrong with me?
Just a few weeks later, I broke up with the man. I decided that my huge capacity to love was not a bad thing. It was not something I had to resign myself to, but something to just accept. After the breakup, I knew I was doing the right thing for myself. But the pain of being alone (again) was excruciating. Finally after months of therapy, medication, and a great circle of friends, I decided I was okay to be alone. And that if it meant I was alone for the rest of my life, I was okay. I wasn't going to prostitute my heart just for the sake of being part of a "couple". The pain of a bad relationship was greater than the pain of being alone.
About a year later, a friend of mine asked me out on a date and I said yes. For the first time in a relationship, I decided I was going to lay all the cards out on the table. If I was going to take a leap into love again, I was doing it headfirst and completely unshackled. If I lost, I lost, but I wasn't going to lose out of not trying. I shared my fears, my joys, ALL of my skeletons (eeks!). I was myself at every point I could be. Basically, "Here I am. This is who I am and what I've done. I'm being completely honest, so I hope you can handle it." Not only did Mozz handle it and handle it well, he loved me for that. AND for the first time in a relationship, I found a man who loved me just as much as I loved him. That hole in my heart wasn't there anymore. I haven't felt it in years.
As jgnat said:
Sometimes it is better to make a flawed leap than to sit safely on the ground.
Love is really just an evolutionary mechanism acquired so we humans can mate.The "love lost" feeling is simply our instincts informing us that we should reacquire the lost mate or find another.
What a load of crap! I suppose I should feel guilty if my tears well up over a dead friend of a dog, for fear that I really wanted to mate with it!
I agree, you learn alot, and have a lot of fun, even if it doesn't work out,
I know people who have never loved, and boy what a depressing life. It has to be the worst,
So I agree 10000000000000000000000000000000000000 %
I had to think about this one... (difficult after 4 glasses of wine ).
I have probably loved two people in the whole of my life; one broke my heart and the other I am marrying next week!
I think you learn from every relationship, you take from it upon exit something that you might not have taken elsewhere, I sure as hell learned a lot from each relationship I have ever been in and wouldnt be without the experiences.
DB74
isnt that kinda likeif you love someone set it free if it comes back to you its your if it doesnt it never ways? but to answer your question... to love and lost SUX
G. K. Chesterton The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost. Samuel Butler It is better to have loved and lost than never to have lost at all. Socrates The hottest love has the coldest end.
