than never to have loved at all
i'm not sure i agree
do you?
BETTER TO HAVE LOVED AND LOST
by tijkmo 48 Replies latest social relationships
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googlemagoogle
i'd agree. as long as i'm not in the "just have lost" state.
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luna2
I dunno either, tij. I kind of retired from relationships after my divorce. Part of that was due to being a JW and there was little opportunity to meet anybody, part of it was because I was busy with my kids, and part of it was due to not wanting to put myself out there to be hurt again. I don't think I trust myself to make good decisions when it comes to men.
I've learned since that I don't appear to make good decisions when it comes to anything important, so at least I'm consistant.
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Billygoat
I think it depends on how the "lost" part happened.
When I broke up with my ex, it was a terribly depressing and angry time for me. He'd lied to me about some terrible things. At the time of the breakup, I was devastated, suicidal even.
Today I'm in an amazing relationship with the best man in the world. If he were to be taken out of my life instantly, I would be devastated again. But it would be different. Mozz and I appreciate every little moment we have together. If it ended today, we'd be terribly sad, but we'd be extremely grateful for the little time we've had together. Every second is a blessing. Every day I get thousands of seconds of blessings.
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Crumpet
Nonsense life would be dull without the losing and the loving. I enter every relationship expecting it to be temporary, as I'm not really what you'd call the committing type (except it terms of being committed to an institution!) and those relationships never really end and therefore no one really loses. The relationships just evolve - they may be a lover for a while and then things don't work out and they become a friend.
I've lost all my family and I simply refuse to lose any one else i love ever again except through death. I would hate not to love anyone.
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Billygoat
The relationships just evolve - they may be a lover for a while and then things don't work out and they become a friend.
Crumpet, I've never looked at it this way. Thank you for expanding my viewpoint on this - I rather like it!
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GetBusyLiving
I think it's better to have loved and lost, but every time things don't turn out it's changed me a little bit. I've become less jaded, I stop believing in magic and pre-destination more and more.
GBL
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Crumpet
Your welcome Billygoat - its rare I say anything that is sensible so I'm glad you pointed it out. Obviously I realise that being friends after a break up is not the easiest thing to do - it takes work and effort and patience, but its so worth it. I've only had two proper boyfriends, but I do speak to both of them every day and love them both - one as a friend (although I realise he's not entirely happy about that) and the other as my current lover (who doesn't like being referred to as "current", but hey keeps em on their toes doesn't it!). I do think maintaining a friendship with Mr Crumpet if we stop being lovers will be a challenge initially because he is very stubborn - but then so am I!
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wanderlustguy
Yes I agree...not the case if you lose the lesson...
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googlemagoogle
I've become less jaded, I stop believing in magic and pre-destination more and more.
yup. not 16 anymore.