ITHINKISEE Update #2: Nothing to tell ... still.

by ithinkisee 7 Replies latest jw friends

  • ithinkisee

    So most of you know I have been trying to figure out how to break the "truth" about the truth to my wife.

    I have been telling various non-JW family members of my decision: (dad) (childhood friend) (my wife's brother) (my wife's aunt)

    And I keep chickening out:

    I came home one night last week and found some partially completed research on her desk:

    This research by her ... which seems to support 586BCE ... has altered my plans for breaking the news to her.

    My wife and I took the kids and went to North Carolina for a long weekend. We went and saw a few really good bands, did some shopping, and some real estate searching. We found some property only 6 miles from downtown Asheville. Looks real promising. My wife had recently hinted at moving away:

    Well, it turns out she is serious about it. We found a couple of nice pieces of real estate. One piece is up on the top of a hill with some great views to the north and south. The other piece is down in the trees. I am partial to the privacy of the trees, but we have yet to decide. Any thoughts? I like the trees because I would like to sit out on my porch and not have to worry about 5 other houses seeing me.

    The way real estate has exploded here in my area, we should be able to sell our house here and buy land and a build a decent house for cash in Asheville. I should have enough money to start a new career too. I'm thinking of making a switch. So if there are any Asheville people online here, PM me and we can talk more!

    As far as the talking about JW stuff ... 607 BCE specifically ... nothing really happened. I know, I know ... I feel like the biggest tease with all this stuff. I have good reasons though.

    On the way over to Asheville we were just having a real good time and there wasn't much deep reading ... I think we were all just unwinding and relaxing. We had a ton of fun in Asheville. Went tubing down a river, went to a sliding rock way up in the mountains somewhere, and just enjoyed the slightly cooler weather than where we are from.

    On the way back we had to bring my sisters brother (mentioned above) back to our town to pick something up - so there was no time for my wife to study on the 12-hour ride back home either.

    When it got right down to the moment I wanted to tell my wife everything - it hit me in the face that if I REALLY WANT this to work, I do need to take everyone's advice and take it a little slower. Considering that she is researching the stuff herself - at least to some extent - is positive. The more she researches on her own - the less I have to explain, and the less chance I have of being "the enemy".

    My wife still makes comments that tell me she is still mentally in the JW game. She says how she will love being debt-free so she can concentrate on field service more. She also makes comments from time to time on how "the end is so close".

    But I do notice other things. Her general attitude seems to slowly be changing.

    The biggest enemy to the JW mindset (at least in my social circle) is seeing non-JW friends or relatives feeling truly happy and fulfilled and worthwhile. She sees them happy and in love and communicating well and working on goals together. Yet her and I aren't like that. What's wrong with this picture? WE should be the happy ones. They are supposed to be empty and miserable and desperate for some sort of guidance.

    Thanks for all the followups and PMs. I'll update more this week.


  • carla

    Lucky you! sounds like she is attempting to discover on her own the 'truth' about the truth. Probably the best way. I too have just recently contacted friends & relatives and asked them to invite him/us to things so he can be around nonjw's as much as possible. Wishing you all the best! carla

  • lonelysheep

    I'm glad you enjoyed your time away! Best wishes in your future move, too.

    It may take her a while to come around and wake up, but at least her attitude is changing a bit. Is she perhaps trying to convince herself she still believes in them, rather than you? Just a thought.

  • jgnat

    I feel much better about this kind of progress. Even if your wife joins the local congregation, this can be good. She may be hoping that things will be "different" in another congregation. When she sees the problems are systemic, she may be more open to the changes you have made.

    I think it is kind of cute that both of you are leaving your research lying around. How would she react if you annotated her notes?


    Do what you think is best for your circumstances, you know them the best. Good luck with everything and please keep us updated.

  • ezekiel3

    You two are like a couple of virgins trying to get laid.

    I hope the best for you both. It sounds like you have a great marriage and a little time/no pressure may keep everything in tact.

    Moving to a new hall is GREAT for fading. Good luck!

  • ithinkisee
    I think it is kind of cute that both of you are leaving your research lying around. How would she react if you annotated her notes?

    Is this some sort of apostate foreplay? Heheh.

    (Hoping my wife finds this funny if she ever reads these posts one day ...)


  • bonnzo

    i live in central nc. asheville is a great city. real vibrant music scene. pm me if you want more

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