Told my nonJW brother-in-law I'm done with the JW thing

ithinkisee

I am slowly ramping up the wheels of apostacy and have begun telling a few people to help brace the fallout of me telling my wife. I have many relatives that aren't JWs - both on my side and on my wife's side. I've already told my dad (who was never a JW - to which I am eternally grateful), and some nonJW business people that I am also friends with.

My wife's brother was never a JW. Their stepdad was a NAZI Elder to the Nth-degree and her brother grew up with a bitter resentment, anger, and hatred - even a rage that has only died down in recent years. (he is in his late-20s) He was never baptized, and all the JW family - including my wife - rationalize that his bitterness is really towards the overbearing stepfather - not the Org. (although both work in the same heavy-handed way)

He recently got married to a meek and sweet girl. We all went to the wedding. Problem is - as you know JWs are - all of the JW side is using every opportunity to "witness" to them. Yes, it is lovebombing in the purest form. They always talk about how he and his wife are always asking "bible questions" and how they think they can get to him through his new wife.

Well, it turns out him and his wife go home after a night of pseudo-subtle "witnessing" and just laugh about the ridiculousness. How do I know? I asked him today about it - and then told him I was leaving the JWs.

He was completely blown away - he said he will completely support my decision and would even put me up in his house if things got bad. Imagine that! It would be interesting to see how quickly the lovebombing would die after that and the hypocritical awkwardness that would ensue - not to mention the reasoning they would have to try to put across to him after something like that - that they can't talk to me or something.

I ended by telling him my main purpose for telling him was that I wanted him to be prepared for a response when word gets back to him. I wanted him to know WHY I was leaving the JWs, and that it was not only for me but the long-term well-being of my wife and kids. They deserve to hear the unbiased truth about JWs. Also that it wasn't because I wanted to go screw tons of chicks or delusions of being famous or something - but that I just don't want to be a hypocrite.

Anyhoo ... just thought I would share.

-ithinkisee

Odrade

ruh roh. how it starts man, how it starts. Good luck and very cool.

tetrapod.sapien

hey ithinkisee,

this is a huge step man, and i wish you the very best.

be prepared that she may run to the elders before you can say much else, or calm her down. but i am sure you have already thought of that. i am just saying, that if you don't feel like talking with them, which many would advise is a good way to go (not talking with them), then you should be prepared for them acting swiftly. but if you do, then kudos to you. i couldn't do it, and so i was ready for any JC in absentia meetings they may have had, with my DA letter.

i'm not saying to do it this way per se, just telling how it went with me. in the end, she did not go to the elders right away, and we talked and cried and argued for days. it was exhausting, but worth it, of course. she is your wife, and you should be commended for wanting to be open with her. she deserves it. good for you.

and, it's great to hear that you have your bro in law. man, i would have loved that. he is probably really hoping this makes his sis think.

best wishes,

TS

Whiskeyjack

Good luck man! It's great that you've got some family support for you and your kids.

W.

crazyblondeb

My hat is off to you. Taking that first big step is the most important one!!We are all here for you!! Just think--this is the first day of the rest of YOUR life!!

shelley

riotgirlpeeps

*Cheers*

Ithink, I'm in a very similar situation where almost everyone in my life with the exception of the family and JW's around me know I'm leaving.

I have been out one time before so its a little easier on me because I already know the reactions from my family, and it really helps that I have one sister who has been out for about 6 years.

Obviously still its going to be hard as I was born relying on the org for everything support wise, which is funny since they never did support me in any of my times of true need.

Congrats to you, huge steps. So you'll be my apostate sibling in the sense that we exit for once and all around the same time, though I'm holding off til after september 1st because thats when my main support returns to town, which I will need.

damselfly

Congratulations on your decision! It's not an easy one to make or follow thru on. I hope that your wife takes it well, maybe she already has an inkling and it won't be too much of a shock to her. Keep us all posted, we are here to help support you.

Damselfly

TheListener

Good luck Ithinisee.

Good plan.

I also tire of hypocrisy and the fade.

Tristram

Good luck, ithink. I am envious that you at least have some non-JW family to talk to.

Doubtfully Yours

You're going about it correctly, preparing the turf and all. Good for you!

DY

Told my nonJW brother-in-law I'm done with the JW thing

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