Another JW cong story... it's not adultery or fornication if...

by out of the box 18 Replies latest jw experiences

  • fleaman uk
    fleaman uk

    Sorry bonny

    Im having a real Blonde day today lol

  • Finally-Free
    she wasn't the image the WT likes to promote

    And that is what it's all about in the Watchtower.



  • Hellrider

    OutOfTheBox, that story just really pissed me off! Hypocricy at it`s worst! The "funny" thing is that this "brother" probably never even once thought about how God would look at his behaviour, he was just concerned with not being DFed. Tell your friend that if God exists, this "brother" is the one going to get it, on judgement day, not her! Theres a good german word for both these elders and this "brother": Ûntermensch!

  • Bumble Bee
    Bumble Bee

    Sadly it seems like the woman is DF'd and not the man.

    I too, knew of a similar situation. An engaged couple was caught by a policeman late one evening (oops, I guess that wasn't as a secluded spot as they thought).

    He was only privately reproved, but she was DF'd because she refused to give them all the details. Sad sad situation, poor kids.


  • BluesBrother

    The elders told my friend that 'because he did not go inside her he did not commit fornication, nor did he actually cheat on his wife'!!! But she knew better

    Unless this was an awful long time ago, Their statement is utterly false according to WT teaching. What you describe is "Porneia " and is definately grounds for d/f and divorce .. But I bet that he persuaded them of his repentance and so got off.

    *** w00 11/1 p. 8 A Godly View of Moral Cleanness ***


    What is meant by the word "fornication"? It comes from the Greek word por·nei´a, which is sometimes used to apply to sexual relations between unmarried people. (1 Corinthians 6:9) Elsewhere, such as at Matthew 5:32 and Matthew 19:9, the term is broader in meaning and refers additionally to adultery, incest, and bestiality. Other sexual practices between individuals not married to each other, such as oral and anal sex and the sexual manipulation of another person’s genitalia, can also be designated as por·nei´a. All such practices are condemned—either explicitly or by implication—in God’s Word.

    . We had a friend once who confessed to my wife that she had had a one night stand with a worldly man. We knew she was repentant and it seemed an open and shut case for reproof. But she was so upset , and so scared that she could not express herself at the committee - they disfellowshipped her. I helped her make an appeal ( that teed off the rest of the body rotten) and the decision was reversed (Hooray!)

    But it ges to show that it is not what happened, it is how you present your case that counts. [Holy Spirit? What Holy Spirit?]

  • Hellrider

    Anyway, like Onan he "spilleth his cum on the ground" (or whatever that passage says). What he did at least qualifies as masturbation, doesn`t it? Or maybe it`s more like a masturbation/fornication-combo... So I get hasseled by my mom and an elder for that at 13, and this guy is let off that easily? He must have been better at raising his hand at the meetings than I used to be (my arm was always so tired...)... I can just picture this guy at the meeting with the elders: (with a southern accent): "I did not have sex with that woman...miss..." And the fact that he made sure he got to the elders before her, to tell his side first, that`s just so pathetic, like a kid running to his mom first, to blame the other kids for the broken window.I`m at a loss of words. What a looser!

  • out of the box
    out of the box

    I was afraid to post this story, well not afraid actually, but it had stayed inside of me for so long, it felt 'dirty' or something when it came out.

    Hellrider, yes he was like a brat running to the elders first. He had her totally vamboozeled! I told her she did a pretty stupid thing giving in to someone like that and married too! Of course he was handsome and so popular and she was just a single mom who had been looked down on for a long time and he used this to elevate her to his special friend. He would go to her house, tap on the door late at night and cry on her shoulder about how misunderstood he was and how he was planning a divorce and be with her. I told my ole friend that 'that was the oldest lie in the book'!!! And you were right, he knew how to escape being DF'd.

    BluesBrother and Bumble Bee, I think you are right, since I was not there when it all came out, I assume that she would not give the details or say she was sorry. I think at the time she must have told them she loved him and they thought that she would not stop seeing him. She defied them by not telling all the details that they wanted to hear. Of course the details he gave were different and that she had called him over etc. In any case he was totally crying and repentant and his wife forgiving him right away helped him a lot. The wife wanted the girl DF'd and she stated so. She said she could not go to a cong where that girl was. They ended up moving away soon after that anyway.

    Finally Free, yes, her image was now that of a 'husband' hunter and taker. His was that of a poor defensless guy who fell for her charm. They said she was jealous of what they had and wanted it for herself.

    Well, I can't say anything to her because I do not see her anymore, nor do I have access to her phone number or... way to reach her. I hope she is doing OK. I do know she is not a JW anymore.

    Thanks for your replies. I feel better after telling that story, it was good to let it out.

    out of the box

  • rebel8

    it really is always the woman's fault, isn't it?

  • out of the box
    out of the box

    rebel8, It would seem that way when you consider that women tell women these stories. But I am sure that there are just as many stories told by men to men! People 'flirt' with each other every day. Be it in a smile, or kind words sometimes said in a playful way. If the other person takes it further and so forth... it takes TWO to tango!

    But, when the elders review the cases they look at the side of the one who is contributing and will cause the least amount of 'shock and awe' I am sure when the news gets out. I am not saying this is right, but like other posters have said on this board, they choose on the side for the organization, what will 'look' like the least damage control. JWs MUST know by now that the org is more important than any ONE individual! You lose your identity when you go into it. You no longer have ANY rights!

    out of the box

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