Parent sleeping with teenagers (page 9)

MidwichCuckoo

Lurking1 - just to say, I like your attitude,and the way you express yourself (on this thread - haven't read your original post yet)

cruzanheart

lurking1, welcome and I'm glad you're posting! Check out the "Best of" threads (if you haven't already) -- there's a lot of good supportive info in there.

It will get better and easier to deal with your "stuff"!

EF, I knew you were a softie, deep down inside that Mad Hatter hat!

Nina

Fatfreek

I've learned so much about several facets of human nature during this busy thread.

First, make sure and get all the facts -- and get them straight. My bad.

This forum has the best and most generous hearts, bar none. I'd never experienced the kind of empathy seen here inside any Kingdom Hall I ever attended in my 21 years -- before I got out.

This forum also has the most critical folks around. Whether many of us like it or not, that is good! If we all had been as critical, we'd never had gotten mixed up with the Witneys in the first place and this forum wouldn't exist.

I have a good feeling about all this and may even play a round of golf.
Fats

Big Tex

I never trusted people enough to share the information because I’ve been so afraid of what their reactions might be. Yep, I was afraid of what people would think if I told. As I said, I’ve heard of much worse happening to others but this was MY “dirty little secret”.

It is hard taking that first step, isn't it? But that is part of the process in recovery. Conquering new and more difficult hurdles till the time comes when the pain is as small as an atom. If it helps, I've found it more difficult to talk about the abuse my mother did to me, than I did what my father did. I don't know why exactly, but the level of shame is higher even now after 20 years in therapy and working on issues. But there again, that is the scar that is left by abuse that no one sees.

FF you are correct. This board has many good-hearted people, I think because we've all been through the ringer with a certain weird little regligious sect, and no one wants to do to someone else what was done to us. You're also right in that things can get wild and folks will speak their mind. But I also think it's healthy, within reasonable boundaries, to be able to hear both sides. I'm very glad lurking1 found the guts to post despite some things that were initially said. Backbone is essential to survival.

BTW FF, most of my abuse took place when my family was living just across the Arkansas border in a little Missouri town called Cassville, which is near Roaring River. I don't know what part of the state you live in, but I've got quite a lot of cousins in the north and northwest part and an aunt and uncle living in Fayetteville. One my earliest memories is them taking me at age 3 (which would have been 1965) to an Arkansas Razorback pep rally (at the time they lived very close to the campus). Wow, do I remember shouting and noise and sooey-pig! Didn't really scare me, but I stayed close to my aunt just in case.

Chris

Fatfreek

BigTex,

While I now live in the southern part of the state, I and my family used to live in Rogers (1966 - 1973), the NW part of the state, as you know. Worked at Daisy. I sometimes gave hour talks (boring, I'm sure) in those surrounding towns over the MO and OK lines. Watched the famed 1969 Ark / Texas national championship game on black and white TV, where Nixon attended.

Let me know when ya'll have another one of those get-togethers in Dallas.

Fats

ChrisVance

lurking1, Thanks for sharing your story. I can relate. My dad was killed when I was a year old. My mother did the same with me. I slept with her until the shame got to be too great.

lurking1

Hello ChrisVance, those feelings of guilt and shame are hard to escape and linger long after the initial incident(s). How does one avoid feeling second rate after the fact? I still struggle with issues of feeling permanently tainted or stained by it and consequently inferior. I don’t know if I’m making any sense but it’s like a personal stigma. Although I wouldn’t wish it on anyone, it helps to know I’m not alone and you’re not alone. Then there’s the trust issue. Who can you trust if you can’t trust mom (or dad)? It took a long time but I have found I am able to trust again thanks to some pretty wonderful people and I’ve come a long way with my feelings of guilt and inferiority. I sincerely hope you’ve found some people you can trust too. It does get better… that much is true and we all need to keep saying it. Thanks for sharing Chris.

lurking1

Sphere, That profoundly sums them up… by definition they are a people who you can “get nowhere” with. The real question might be: what do you say to people who are both unrealistic and unreasonable? I sincerely wish I had the answer. I’ve thought of a couple crazy ideas but haven’t tried them yet. You know, fight fire with fire. One idea is to open the door and say nothing the whole time they are there. Try to maintain a blank stare and blink my eyes every so often throughout their visit but remain mute. Another thought is to make up a bunch of my own words and state my case emphatically to them in the words I’ve made up. The trick to this is coming up with words that have no relation to any known language. My last idea is to repeat everything they say (word for word) back to them in the form of a question. I would do this very slowly as if I’m doing my darnedest to comprehend every word said. If a person could do this with a straight face it might be interesting. As you can see I am clueless as to how to relate the clueless. It is frustrating. I hope someone with some good ideas will take the time to post. Your post was real...I can relate.

Parent sleeping with teenagers

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