Parent sleeping with teenagers (page 2)

gespro

Im not a very touchy feely mum anyway, so no I wouldnt have done this, but if nothing happened, id tell his son to get over it ........really I would

Ah yes, let's invalidate this person's feelings.

I'm thinking if this where a father/daughter situation and a guy said 'get over it' he would be missing a pair of gonads! [PLEASE tell me I'm wrong...]

Here, let me repost what BigTex said once already:

It's certainly boundary crossing, if not outright emotional incest.

...I'm thinking a 'violation of trust' between mother and son. Yes it does happen...I know from experience...

MidwichCuckoo

I asked him if he'd ever thought of any legal action or taking it to the authorities

HOW CAN HE? The boys are adults now, any legal action taken would have to be taken by THEM. Catalogue WHAT? HEARSAY?

Fatfreek

Legaski v. Melanson, 2 Mass. Law Reporter 614 (1994) This action is based on suppressed memory recall. The statute of limitations begins to run when the plaintiff discovers the defendant's conduct was the cause of her psychological condition.

http://www.lawlib.state.ma.us/sexabuse.html

I certainly don't pretend legal expertise, and laws vary I'm sure from state to state (and definitely country to country) but the above case in Massachusetts seems to imply that if one of these boys were having a recent (other cases indicate within last 3 years) mental problem as a result of the bizarre behavior then it may be something to look into. Heresay is an issue here but if the other boy backed up his experience (which is doubtful since he's still a JW), who knows?

Fats

SixofNine

I saw a man hugging his 15 year old daughter the other day. It sickened me! I followed him for a while, and when I had the chance I did what I had to do, and made sure I wouldn't get caught (cuz why should two children be w/o daddies just because this guy was a sick fcuk?). Society has to be protected from this evil cancer of affection and emotional support.

stillconcerned

Six?

What does the above mean?

kdn

SixofNine

It means that I believe some, if not most, people have lost the plot. It means that I think its ridiculous, and even harmful, for people to believe that the solution to the very real problem of sexual predators, is to codify the (stunted) family interactions and dynamics of uptight 20th century American families.

It means that "sleeping together" and sleeping together" share no meaning and only sometimes, coincidentally, a bed.

It means that 10 years ago, when the guy I worked with said to his 14 year old son "hey, give me a kiss" as he went off somewhere or another, and his son came over and they smacked each other right on the lips, and I got a feeling of yucky-ness and discomfort.... it means that I was the one with the problem, not my boss or his son.

ps... Howdy kdn, nice to see your pixels :-) Hope all is good with you, and that you are taking names and kicking serious butt!

FMZ

Sixy... well said.

That's all.

FMZ

FlyingHighNow

Am I wrong? Could it be that the boy read something into his mother's nuzzling that was not meant? Boys at that age are very excitable. The exact same kind of hug from a mother, could feel wonderful to a boy when four years old, and creepy to a fourteen year old.

I have heard more than one guy say, after some woman was nice to him or just gave a friendly smile, "She wants me. She wants me badly."

FlyingHighNow

It's certainly boundary crossing, if not outright emotional incest.

Maybe it was a bit inappropriate, but emotional incest? I don't think this sounds quite that serious. This sounds more like a mother who felt great loss and looked for comfort from her sons when she should have looked for it from friends or adult family members. Many grief stricken parents look for comfort from their children. Sometimes adults don't use good judgment when they are in deep emotional pain.

gespro

This sounds more like a mother who felt great loss and looked for comfort from her sons when she should have looked for it from friends or adult family members.

I agree totally. I wish I had the brains to tell my mother that. Even though physical 'sex' isn't involved, emotionally a boy can still be screwed up by something like this.

What kind of emotional burden is that to lay upon a developing boy? Isn't the parent the one to comfort and nurture and not the other way around? For me, I think if my mother raised me in a healthy relationship [with her] in the first place, I might understand and have the capacity to comfort her in another way but the more I write this and think of sleeping in the same bed with her....my instinct says this is wrong. [Ewww!] I'm thinking you don't have to have 'sex' for it to be out of line for an adult.

Many grief stricken parents look for comfort from their children. Sometimes adults don't use good judgment when they are in deep emotional pain.

I agree again. Maybe I should send this thread to my mother... Get a teddybear, find an adult or a support group or some other adult people to experience a the closeness you're lacking... or go without. As an offspring THIS is NOT my responsibility. I'm not your husband/boyfriend. You're supposed to give me the tools to have this kind of relationship with my own mate of choice.

Can you tell this is an emotional subject for me...I'll stop now

Parent sleeping with teenagers

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