Frustrated with bible student GF (page 4)

blondie

still alot of frustrating make out session

Just to let you know, even touching her breast could be a reason for the elders to talk to her about her actions assuming they find out. Mutual masturbation is definitely a reason to get kicked out of the WTS (assuming she isn't repentant). The WTS feels that these things are "reserved" for people married to each other. Oral sex is considered having sex by the WTS and not for single people.

If you are doing these things, then the doctrinal discussions she is having with you are hypocritical and she is living a lie as a JW (but then JWs have a tendency of doing that).

Convincing her of that might be counter productive in what you want in the relationship. But if she is willing to break the rules in that area, why is she so adamant in the others? Hmmm.

Blondie

Nellie

I was a JW for 35 years - during that time I wondered two things: 1 - why I was hearing things I blatantly disagreed with as being right (but because there were older people in the congregation that I respected, I thought "if they believe it then maybe it is right and I just don't get it") and 2 - WHY people I respected outside the org didn't accept the Truth as the truth.

Before it is too late, ask her to take the time to investigate not only the doctrines of the organization, but the history of it as well. If, after a thorough, unbiased investigation, she still believes it is the Truth, my advice is to let her go. My husband (also a JW) used to say to me "it's only a religion" and for sooo long, I didn't get it - because it can't "just be a religion if it is the True Religion" - but he's right - once you concede that it is a religion (like all others) and you can see the faults in the other religions, you can then see the faults in this one too. Then at least you make an informed decision - with your eyes open - about what you're joining.

Bottom line, If a religion cannot stand up to investigation, it shouldn't be worthy of your trust, time or faith. And investigation has to come from outside - not inside!

TheListener

Please get out now. I can't tell you how, if she leaves the dubs now; you'll feel even worse 5, 10 or even 15 years from now if she decides to rejoin. A dub can't become a non-dub unless they truly want and understand it. Otherwise they are just on break waiting for the next big disappointment in life to show them the way back.

This looks like the word run over and over again, it is. It's also a picture of a wall that she has put up between her and society that only she can dismantle.

run run run run run run run run run run run

datingAjwgirl

The re-occuring lapses of wanting to be JW scare me, I cant imagine what that would be like 10 years into a marriage. Sure glad I bought these new running shoes. Hopefully they will fit.

Check_Your_Premises

Running? Good choice.

Do her a favor though, let her be the one to break it off. Tell her you will never be a dub, the best way to frame this is tell her you are a Christian and you are afraid of ever putting total faith in a group of people. This is because people are always fallible and eventually you fear you would have to choose between loyalty to the group or loyalty to God. Top it off with, "you can't serve two masters". If you aren't a Christian, at least don't say you don't want to be a dub because it seems hard or you want to smoke pot.

She knows she can't be with you and be a dub.

If you break up with her it will reinforce her cult identify of being persecuted. If she breaks up with you... well not much better but at least you didn't feed the beast.

And I suppose the chivalrous thing to do is try to help her out until she does dump you. Start now to detach yourself emotionally. Get used to the idea that she has a new boyfriend, the Watchtower. When the time comes tell her you will take her back if she changes her mind. Work Hassan's book the best you can, and maybe she will find her way out one day. Maybe it will only eat up 10 or 20 years of her life?

greendawn

They are indeed hard to get through to due to the mind conditioning that their leaders effected on them and convinced them that they are the only true religion in the world and everyone/everything else is satan controlled and dangerous.

M.J.

Great advice already given. I'm married to a JW and geez CYP sure put it well when he talked about the way our lives go. This is nuts. You don't wan't this kind of life.

I wish I would have popped in on this board 5-6 years ago when I was in your shoes and my wife (then gf) was not yet an active JW.

datingAjwgirl

Last night was a blow-out, there is something to winning a battle but losing the war. I think we have agreed to be friends.

About the book bag send off gift. Funny thing is, I thought I was buying her a purse that she eyed and told me about. So I spent the hundred bucks on it and surprised her with it a couple of months ago. I noticed she was not using it so I asked her, why arent you using that new purse? She said oh well its more of a book bag...... Funny thing is, I didnt get it then.... ouch that hurts.

luna2

I'm sorry for your pain, dating. Breaking up really sucks, but if she stays on course to baptism as a Witness, you would not have ended up anywhere you'd have wanted to be with this relationship. (((Hugs)))

Frustrated with bible student GF

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