Bitter, Better or Both?

by damselfly 18 Replies latest jw friends

  • damselfly
    damselfly

    Do you feel that you are still bitter towards JW's? Or do you feel that you are better off without them? Or better then them to begin with? Maybe you feel both bitter and better?

    I used to feel very bitter about the way that I had been treated by them, but in the past year or so I have let go of the bitterness that I used to have. I don't really feel that I am better then anyone but I do feel that I am much better off.

    I know that in order for me to start healing and move on as a person that I had to release all those bitter feelings so that they would stop eating me up inside. I think that bitterness can stunt our growth into healthly, functioning members of society.

    But that is just my opinion and where I'm at in my own personal development. How about everyone else?

    Damselfly

  • PaulJ
    PaulJ

    I feel better off certainly.

    I do feel a bit bitter because the GB are getting away with so much by misleading people. Im angry at my dad and brother to a certain respect for not knowing better- but its not their fault, they just follow whatever the GB says.

  • rebel8
    rebel8

    Most of the time nowadays, the bitterness is more of a thought rather than an emotion. I can mentally recall what I went through and how horrible it was, but I have barely an emotional reaction to it any more. Once in a while I get angry if something happens in my current life that relates to my jw past, but not often.

  • kwintestal
    kwintestal

    I don't feel bitter, however if they keep bugging me, they might get more then they can chew.

    I really think that I've left most of what I previously felt for them behind. I'm numb to their effects on me. I choose to deal with JW issues for other personal reasons. I think that I spent 25 years of my life attempting to bring others into the cult that I should spend that much attempting to educate the cult's members and for being there for new ones who leave and are on their own.

    Kwin

  • Ellie
    Ellie

    I wouldn't say that I'm bitter, infact I don't really care anymore unless someone tries to witness to me, that really gets my goat up, it makes me want to shake some sense into them.

    I don't really like to say that I am better than them but I know I am probably a kinder more open person than most.

  • tijkmo
    tijkmo

    both definately if those are the choices..

    but more accurately would be...bewildered but getting better...bbgb..(come up with another acronym if you like)

  • trevor
    trevor

    I’m am bit bitter but a bit better. It’s a bit a both. Better a bit bitter but better than a bit better but bitter. Or bitter and not better.

  • luna2
    luna2

    Some of both at present for me. It hasn't been all that long (3 months) since I had the stunning revelation that Jehovah's Witnesses are nothing but a fringe cult and not God's only real channel here on earth. I'm still processing that.

    I'm also still processing the realization that I've got a lot of work to do on a personal level. I am way, way too submissive and....dare I say it....lazy. I choose the easiest path to get by. I seem to latch on to people who are more forceful personalities (because they actually DO things) and go along for the ride. It's a rather sickening feeling to finally understand this about myself. So while I'm better in the sense that I'm not beating my head up against the JW wall and having my life controlled by a publishing company any more, I'm trying to figure out how to change and grow enough to break the cycle of dependance upon other people (or organizations) to give my life shape and meaning.

  • urbanized
    urbanized

    The years go by and I feel better and better, certainly better off than when I was parading around as someone whom I am not (a devoted young JW.) However, I guess as I grow up and get older, things crop up now and then and I feel a lot of resentment towards the organization of my past. Just graduating from college in May of this year, at the age of 29, well, that brought up a lot, and the years leading to it did. I think in many, many ways (too many to list here) I am a late bloomer, and it's almost all related to my upbringing in the JW org. So I guess without going into detail, what I'm trying to say is that on the whole I feel better and better, even reached a plateau a few years ago, but every so often big events make me look back with resentment on my past. But who knows, I always had low self esteem, my parents were depressed, and my mom died when I was ten. Maybe if it hadn't been a crazy repressive cult it would have been something else. At least I have a story to tell.

  • greendawn
    greendawn

    I never felt much bitterness towards the R & F jws because I see them as victims of the cult most but not all are well meaning deceived fools who think that the WTS has to offer that exceptional something, a spiritual paradise.

    However the GB, the COs, the elders and all those doing their bidding will in time meet with just punishment unless they repent.

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