Discipline or Child Abuse?

by Dimples 36 Replies latest watchtower child-abuse

  • Dimples
    Dimples

    I remember spanking my son when we used to attend meetings and conventions because he cried and just wouln't sit still. I was told that he had to be disciplined so he would learn to behave and learn what was being said from the platform. Now that I look back I realize that that was child abuse and I feel so horrible about it. How can you expect a child to sit for 2 hours and not become bored? I remember when I was studying to become a JW, I asked if they had a nursery or if they had Sunday school at the Kingdom Hall for the kids and I remember her saying no because the children had to learn with the adults. A red flag should have come up then. How can you expect a child to learn at an adult level? In the meantime children are being spanked and that makes me so angry!Do you feel guilty for spanking your kids during meetings and conventions? I DA'd myself when my son was 5 years old because he cried one day after school (kindergarten) because his teacher celebrated her birthday in class and he wasn't able to participate, so she sent him to another class. That broke my heart as he looked into my eyes and asked me why he couldn't go to the party, with his eyes filled with tears. Really made me look into things. I was just tired of my children suffering.

  • Seeker4
    Seeker4


    I wasn't big on that whole disciplining, wooden spoon thing, but saw tons of JWs who were. Remember sitting in the Hall and listening to kids getting beaten for not sitting and listening.

    LOTS of those kids, and their parents, are now out of the Witnesses.

    Thankfully.

    S4

  • Bryan
    Bryan

    I didn't have to dicapline my daughter much. But I had a witness friend whose mother would pour uncooked rice on the floor and make him get on his knees on the rice. Of course he did it to his kids. Sad.

    Bryan

    Have You Seen My Mother

  • troucul
    troucul

    there is nothing wrong with spanking, plain and simple. Children are inherently selfish, and this quality must be removed. If a stinging bottom is what removes it, then so be it. There was a guy brought to trial and acquitted for spanking his son interviewed on Fox the other day. While I believe the son was too old to be spanked, (13 I believe) the father was well within his right to spank him. The jury saw it that way also.

    As far as making the wee ones sit for that long, it's difficult I understand, I had to go through that when I was little and do the same to my daughter and older son. Even though we're all out, I'm confident knowing that my kids show more couth and cultural etiquette than some people twice their age.

  • googlemagoogle
    googlemagoogle

    there is nothing wrong with spanking, plain and simple.

    OMG!! it's WRONG! it's wrong wrong wrong, plain and simple! it's damaging! and it just shows your weak personality.

  • talesin
    talesin

    Dimples,

    You did the best you could do, with what you knew at the time. Learn to forgive yourself, and just be natural with your boy. When the subject comes up, why not just tell him the truth about how you feel? "Mommy was wrong, and I'm sorry, love. I won't ever do something like that again. Promise. It was a bad thing to do (use his language), and sometimes mommies make mistakes, too." He will probably move right on through it ... it's what you do now that's important!

    xo

    tal

    ps, I agree with you, spanking is wrong, it's okay, though, forgive yourself! it'll be much easier to deal with after that. :)

  • talesin
    talesin
    I DA'd myself when my son was 5 years old because he cried one day after school (kindergarten) because his teacher celebrated her birthday in class and he wasn't able to participate, so she sent him to another class.

    Wow, that is amazing. Your son is much loved.

  • Honesty
    Honesty

    Do you feel guilty for spanking your kids during meetings and conventions?

    Yes. I hope they will forgive me one day.

    I am glad to hear that you are out of the demon JW cult.

  • mtbatoon
    mtbatoon

    When my kids were toddlers the only physical discipline they received was a mock slap on the hand or leg. Mock mind you, no physical pain and that was only for doing things that were dangerous or would of caused them harm. If you have to result to using pain to educate your children then you are a failed parent, you fail them when you hit them and you failed when you were bringing them up. The lack of respect your child has for you is your own doing yet you inflict your frustration on them.

  • Satans little helper
    Satans little helper


    smacking IS wrong but it's not the end of the world. When you smack your kid all you are doing is telling them that violence is a coping strategy when someone is doing something that you dislike, take that forward 15 years and you have a kid who deals with difficult situations with force rather than by using intelligence.

    To be honest a little smack isn't going to cause any long term harm but if you explain why you are unhappy with what they are doing and use a timeout process then you are teaching the kid to manage their situations without resorting to violence

    You obviously love your child, don't feel guilty

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