I was once told many did it because they weren't sure if people would be having children in the new system so they wanted to make sure they had kids before then so they could have them forever. I mean, how bizzare is that line of thinking? Planning your life on whatever whacked out vision you have of the new system.
how do JWs justify having children "in the last days?"
by kid-A 25 Replies latest jw friends
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potleg
Maybe the childless old codgers in Brooklyn will get a bolt of new light, ban contraception, and thus assure themselves of growth in numbers.
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Billygoat
It was funny that when we started letting people know that we were expecting our third, they automatically assumed it was a surprise (it wasn't). I actually had one Elder™ say to me, that it must have been an accident "because nobody would be stupid enough to plan to have a baby so close to Armageddon™." Some people are just tactless, rude and ought to put a sock in it. I asked him if he would feel better if I went and had an abortion.
OMG Scully, this is quite possibly the most ridiculous response EVER. What an @$$. But I love your response! What did he say?
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Scully
Billygoat
He was dumbfounded and just walked away. I love it when that happens! And yeah he is an @$$. Now, almost 13 years later, he's in a wheelchair due to Parkinson's, can't work or pioneer anymore, and has no retirement pension. Who's STUPID now?
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Billygoat
Scully,
What a moron. I'm sure he was seething as he walked away from you. How dare you! A lowly sister forgetting to be submissive to his leadership. That type of guy...they never figure out what jerks they're being...they just keep on. If he was like that to you, imagine what his wife had to deal with at home.
Stories like this really amaze me. They feel they're recognizable by their fruits of love? Barf.
Andi
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TooOpinionated
We were being good dubs and not having children. After several years of travel, etc.we felt something was still missing from our lives and I realized that I really WANTED children and they could all go hang. I decided this when I was 37-had my first at 38, second at almost 40, and third at 41. Everyone assumed our third was an accident, too, but we just let them think it. I probably would have had more children if I was younger. As it was, there was alot of tsk tsking, even with the first. I swear, alot of those women are just bitter.
We really have an appreciation for our kids since we came so close to not having any thanks to the stupid Witnesses. In our congregation there was a group of childless families that formed a clique, and it included some elders and some whose wives always had the "disease of the week", since they were always ill due to things doctors could never find. All I ever heard was that they were waiting to have kids in the new system. Anyway, these people have no way of understanding child development, how your life changes with a child, etc. They certainly don't understand the emotional change that takes place, either. At the last bookstudy I attended I was there alone with 3 kids, the youngest had just started walking. It was tough keeping everyone in their seats occupied. My youngest started making sounds playing, and this elderette shushed her! She wasn't crying or screaming, just babbling. I got mad and told her she was too young for that, and not to do that to my kids. It was a supreme effort to even be there (which wasn't appreciated) with everyone knowing how I felt about them (due to the child molestation issues in our kingdom hall and my outspokeness).
Afterward the bookstudy conductor tried telling me how he and his wife had had 3 kids and would pass the kids back and forth to each other, and perhaps I could do the same. I just glared at him, and he became nervous. Finally I said-"How many of me do you see?" There is just one of me-how in the world am I to pass kids back and forth with myself? How does anything you are saying make sense?" He gave his nervous little laugh, but still kept on in that vain. Finally I said-"It is never good enough for you people". Back then I new something was wrong in the organization (but thought it was me) but I still expected common sense. All I felt was a supreme sense of injustice.
My kids were the prime reason to leave the Witnesses, because I didn't want them to be shut out of having a full life.
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TooOpinionated
In our congregation, there is the general attitude of marry the kids off young (right out of high school) and have babies right away. There is one particular "dynasty" (long line of elders) that really push this. Their family is baby-crazy. So the camps are very divided-the young ones popping kids out, and the old die-hards that never had children, and whisper that "they are not doing what we are supposed to be doing".
The whole marry them young thing always bothered me, and the arrogance they had to the single sisters, in particular. I used to complain bitterly about this to a certain Bethal couple (anyone know David and Janet Lay?) They said it was just our particular congregation, but from reading this board I'm not so sure. Sounds like it was the same all over.
All the young ones are eager to start their families, and I've heard countless parents say that they are ready to be grandparents-effectively pushing these kids to have kids. So I don't think the society is actively pushing this agenda. It seems to come from the ones that have been in for 40 or more years. JMO
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Scully
Billygoat:
If he was like that to you, imagine what his wife had to deal with at home.
Actually the wife was just as bad. Holier than thou, full-time pioneer for eons. They were both extremely arrogant about their Privileges™ and how it made them better than everyone else. Seems like they've got some bad Karma to burn off over the last few years. Life has knocked them down a few pegs from what I've seen and heard.
Stories like this really amaze me. They feel they're recognizable by their fruits of love? Barf.
Well that scripture only applies to people who stay In The Truth™, don'tchaknow. I was told that because the scripture says "by this all will know that you are my disciples if you have love among yourselves" that they could choose not to show love to people like me who left The Truth™.
Yeah, that makes me wanna rush right back to meetings all right. NOT.
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Billygoat
Well that scripture only applies to people who stay In The Truth™, don'tchaknow. I was told that because the scripture says "by this all will know that you are my disciples if you have love among yourselves" that they could choose not to show love to people like me who left The Truth™.
I know, but they couldn't even do that "among themselves." Whatever. I can't tell you how many times I had elder's daughters not want to hang out with me because my dad wasn't spiritually strong enough = inactive. What did I have to do with my father's field service attendance? I was auxiliary pioneering my entire senior year in HS, but I guess that wasn't enough. My dad had to be active. But I'm sure if he was, it wouldn't have been enough either. He wasn't an MS, let alone an elder. Blech. Just remembering this makes me ill.
I've found more LOVE in one day within the walls of this discussion board than all the years of being a JW. And I'm completely serious.
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vitty
I had two children, but really wanted more. I was just too afraid to bring more children into the world as armaggedon was coming "soon" and it was such a responsibility.
First I didnt know for sure I would get through armageddon, I believed it with all my heart, but didnt think I was good enough. So I couldnt in all concience have more kids
This is something I will always regret. The fear also spoilt part of the joy I should of had with my children, in the back of my mind I thought the children and I would die. it really affected my relationship with them, this is something I have thought more of lately and its made me really sad.
I wish I could turn the clockback, knowing then what I know now.
I had my first child before I came back in the truth, and got pregnant with my second when I was in the first flush of excitment that I was in the truth again
Regrets, Im finding this particularly hard to deal with at the moment