Hi Cazza.
Warm welcome.
Here you will find many empathetic people. We are here to support each other, offer encouragement, suggestions and help, when possible.
Obviously you believe in God. As Danny suggested: “Why do you not try to find out more about God.” My wife and I have been reading the Bible since our childhood, with no regrets. It has helped us in our marriage, given us much peace of mind and has quelled our fears and concerns about the future.
We were associated with the Witnesses for many decades; I held various positions of responsibility in the organization, however we quit our association recently with the WTBS because it became very obvious that the hierarchy, the governing body of the organization is not following, nor strictly teaching Bible beliefs.
Please permit me to make some suggestions which may help you.
Yours fears and anxieties are understandable. Nevertheless, our God and our Lord Jesus care for us; here is what the Bible says: “throw all your anxiety upon him, because he cares for you.” In MHO is it imperative to maintain strong faith in God and our Lord Jesus, through regular Bible reading, this would contribute to your spiritual well being and eliminate some fear and apprehension. Personally, I find much comfort in the assurance given to us by Jesus: "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, because I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Mat. 11:28.
Some of the concerns you raise, I am sure no one except God can answer. God is not unjust; he will give an opportunity to everyone desiring life to get to know Him; Jesus even assured the evildoer, he will be resurrected. He forgave those who tortured and put him to death. The Bible assures us: “… that there is going to be a resurrection of both the righteous and the unrighteous.” Acts 24:15.
You say: “My 7 month old daughter is obviously not of an age where she can make decisions for herself, if i don’t return to the truth in time will she die?” Be assured, you do not have to “return to the truth” to please God, and you do not need to worry unduly about your daughter. To have God’s approval we need to draw close to Him in our individual, personal relationship with Him and Lord Jesus, and not through an organization. He is a just and loving God.
May I suggest you read two books written by Ray Franz, former member of the Governing Body: “Crisis of Conscience” and “In Search of Christian Freedom.” These publications have opened the eyes of many thousands to the real truth about the “truth”. They are available at: www.commentarypress.com
Best wishes.
David
