How did you get the "troof"?

dorayakii

I was assimilated at birth... alt

my maternal grandparents came to England in the early 1940s, and learnt the troof here. My grandfather opposed my grandmother for a while, but then he decided it wasn't worth the fight and studied the blue "Troof book" and my grandparents got baptised at the same assembly. He's now succesfully faded and enjoying his retirement... My grandma and mum became very strong Regular Pioneers... and my mother's death strgthened her in her service...

my paternal great-grandparents were among the first to get the troof in Jamaica back in the 1900s and my grandparents (from the same family but they didn't know) continued when they moved to England in the late 1950s... My grandfather continued very strictly and abusively administering "theocratic discipline" and coupled with a family scandal in 1975 which involved him sexually abusing my aunt, 5 of his 6 children left the "troof".... Except my father who didn't know the whole story and was very dismissive to what he has heard... he became a Regular Pioneer and an Elder, labelled his immediate family as "apostate", and cut off most ties with most of the rest of his family...

My parents met at a Pioneer School and became the backbone of our congregation... my birth mother died when i was 4 and my father re-married another Pioneer sister, who became my step-mum...

i was never exposed to any family scandal until the death and funeral of my grandfather in 1998 which helped me get in touch with my dad's torn family, hear all the stories and start to doubt the spirit-direction of the body of elders... My cousin became a famous writer (Zadie Smith) and wrote a semi-autobiographical novel (White Teeth) partly on her mother's experiences as a child in 1975... (not the aunt that underwent the abuse)...

i'm mentally free from the WTS but i have a lot of responsibility and a lot to live up to in the eyes of the congregation (who do not know my family's history because of my father's "clean slate" approach)... the elder's are practically falling over me to make me a ministerial servant even if i sit in a corner and do nothing... so it's been very difficult to fade... i do regret getting baptised in 2001 but i'm not sure if i could have avoided it due to expectations in the cong and my imposed dependance on my parents... Now that i've got a measure of independance having lived in paris for 9 months, i've chosen this year to move to a different congregation (the french speaking) and begin my fade...

tetrapod.sapien

hey dorayakii,

i was emotionally abused into it. so, basically from birth.

you know: "...train up a boy from infancy." and "...emotionally abuse others just as i have emtionally abused you." LOL - at least i can laugh about it. my mom was just perpetrating the cycle of abuse. and of course, emotional abuse, IMO, nothing compared to other types. still, though, abuse.

but seriously, i really didn't have a choice. and then by the time i am at an age to start learning to think critically about it, it's too late. i already have all the mental discontinuity blocks in place to ensure that critical thoughtdoesn't happen. but rather, that i already have "thinking ability".

and then, in the course of my young adult life, i try to :"make da troof my own" several times, unsuccessfully of course, since there is nothing to make in the first place.

cheers,

TS

rebel8

Hi

My mother was a cultish Catholic and was veeery disappointed when Vatican II happened and took away a lot of the restrictive rules. She was looking for a new cult to join for several years. My paternal great-grandparents were dubs. They sent us that orange Paradise book and sent some local dubs to our door. My mom was ecstatic because she could do her 2 favorite things: be morally superior to everyone else (non-dubs are trash you know) and have a very structured life in which there is no gray area/rules for everything.

She studied in '74 and got baptized in the summer of '75, right before ~~Armageddon came in the fall of 1975~~ the false prophecy was supposed to happen. I was 7 yrs old then. She told me I had a choice--be in daddy's religion and get to celebrate holidays but be killed by god in a few months, or be in mommy's religion and give up holidays but be spared and live with zoo animals in a park forever. (No manipulation or anything.) The kicker was that I wouldn't miss out on celebrating Christmas that year because the end of the world was going to come before Christmas anyway. I'd only have to go to school for a few months and not salute the flag, then the end would come and there would be no more holidays or Pledge of Allegiance to skip.

Crumpet

Dorayaki

Sorry to be distracted from the main point of your post - ie Zadie Smith being your cousin. I'm glad you explained this because when I read that book I was so annoyed at how JWs were presented in it. I thought it was completely wrong, but understanding that these did not come from Zadie's own experiences but rather those of her mother - it does make more sense. The books so angered me I nearly wrote to tell her so!

I too was assimilated. My mum was introduced to it as a kid by her older sister and my Dad was caught on the doors when he was 20 by the "troof" book.

crumpet x

freedom96

My mom got baptized when I was one or two, and then brought up in a very religious and strict home, my dad a prominent elder.

Amazingly, they both are out now as well.

Ellie

Bloody hell, you guys are cynical!

I'm not saying that as an insult or putting you down, its just a relief thats all, to hear other people talk about their childhoods in such a way, which is proof to me that I'm quite normal and not the selfish, nasty, spoilt brat I was told I was every time I didn't want to go to a meeting.

I was born into it all too, but my dad got disfellowshipped when I was 11, however, I started to study again in my mid teens and continued this on and off for a few years until last year when I realised I could not give my baby girl the same upbringing as I had.

damselfly

I was born into and emotionally blackmailed to get baptized and stay in.

I've never had the "truth" only the fear that god would kill me if I left.

Damselfly

iggy_the_fish

My mum was "caught on the doors" so to speak when I was about 9 or 10 or so. For reasons I can't quite recall now, I just swallowed the whole JW thing hook line and sinker and went along with my mum to meetings. My father never once talked to me about it, as he had this strange "zero involvement" policy in the political/religious development of his two sons.

He never really tried to talk my mum out of it either. From what my mum says, she was just desperate for someone (i.e. my father) to give her the love and attention she craved, and when he didn't give it, she got a substitute from the witnesses. His response to my mother saying she was having a study with the witnoids was to open an o-level book at the evolution page and shout "that's how we got here". End of conversation. If he'd have just bought my mum a bunch of flowers and promised to take her out more often, I probably wouldn't be posting here now!

So knocking on doors does work, not often, but you just have to get lucky and find a suitably vulnerable person.

ig (has good relationship with his parents these days though!)

Legolas

Well it was a very unfortunate day, there was a knock on my door so stupidly I answered it, listened to what they said, and being the polite girl that I am and as a force of habit, I said COME AGAIN, Now here KICK me in my ass, no no I mean it KICK me!! Anywaaaaay that's how it started!!

crazyblondeb

Okay Legolas,

Bend over while I give you a proper ass-kicking!!!! LOL What WERE you thinking??!!!

My mom and stepdad started studying when I was in 2nd grade. Guess why??!! Mom tells me it's MY fault. I was asking questions they couldn't answer. Then JWs show up at the door and have all the answers!!! My stepdad and mom are still in. My 4 siblings and I are "way out".

shelley

How did you get the "troof"?

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