Please Take This Seriously!

by trevor 12 Replies latest jw friends

  • trevor
    trevor

    PLEASE COMPLETE ALL THE QUESTIONS ON THIS FORM. The first 144,000 will receive first prizes of everlasting life. Runners up the possibility of everlasting life under threat of death at any time.

    Which generation was Jesus referring to in Matthew 24:14?……………………How many years are there in a generation?………………………Christ began his rule in - 1874, 1914, 1918 ,1925 or other?…………………………..

    Who is the faithful & discreet slave - Rutherford, Russell, the WTS, Ray Franz, other?……………………………………(competitors cannot enter their own name.)

    How many fulfilments do Bible prophecies have 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9 more? …………. Is salvation available only through the WTS?…………………………….

    Is voting (a) against the law (b) a matter of conscience (c) depends which Watchtower you read?………………… Again - using blood fractions (a) (b) (c)?……………….

    Is Armageddon (a) due any day now (b) just around the corner (c) completely round the bend?……………………Is the WTS (A) a prophet (b) a puppet (c) a pack of cards, other………………..Does WT stand for (a) waste of time (b) watching time (c) we're tracking, other?……………..……….Is an old truth , truth that is (a) worn out (b) at retirement age (c) a collectors item, other?……………….…………………..

    Is quoting long passages of scripture on the web a sign of wisdom & maturity?……
    Is an open mind (a) an invitation to demons (b) a sign of stupidity (b) a surgical procedure? You must use answer (a)……….Members always leave the WTS because they are (a) apostates (b) demonised (c) sex maniacs (d) all three……………

    The judge's verdict is final and no correspondence can be entered into. Prizes are not transferable. Entrants can be disqualified at any time without reason or notice. All entrants must agree to the terms specified by the WTS. No date is given for prizes to be received.

    Women must cover their heads when helping men to make sense of this form. Copying forms filled in by elders is allowed in fact we may make it compulsory, in which case those that filled in forms their own will be disqualified and asked to leave.

    Any enquiry or criticism of the administrators will result in the same penalty being applied. The rules of this competition can and will be changed at any time. Those not wishing to take part are evil and can expect to be executed along with their families when the prizes are given out.

    If you are unclear about the terms of this generous competition please do not ask questions, as you will incur the above penalties. The Governing Body reserves the right to keep the first prizes for itself.

  • mrsjones5
    mrsjones5

    I dont know!!

  • Carol
    Carol

    I don't either! Is this an open book test?

  • riotgirlpeeps
    riotgirlpeeps
    Women must cover their heads when helping men to make sense of this form.

    May I use a diaper as a head covering? Seriously some women were counseled for doing just that.

    And I'm presently going to meetings and don't want to think to answer these, so my open eyed sleep sessions are working.

  • Ms. Whip
    Ms. Whip

    trevor,

    i think you need a good spanking.

    how dare you try to confuse ms. whip with silly questionnaires.

    get on your knees and beg me to pray for you.

  • luna2
    luna2

    Sorry, my eyes started glazing over just reading the first question. LOL

    May I use a diaper as a head covering? Seriously some women were counseled for doing just that.

    LMAO...that's way too funny. Hope they were clean. Who was it on this board that mentioned that some sis couldn't find anything to cover her head with and had to use a plastic grocery bag. Boy, that sure looks dignified, huh? What a great reflection on Jehoover!

  • ColdRedRain
    ColdRedRain

    If he doesn't want the spanking, I'll take it!

  • Elsewhere
  • prophecor
    prophecor

    What was the question?

  • Del
    Del

    ROFL!

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