Darling mother asks me often 'so you're definitely going to all the meetings? And you're not doing this just to get your family back, right? You actually want to be a witness?' I tell her what she wants to hear, I'm sure that she's better off not knowing the real answer. As it is now, the only child who talks to her is the disfellowshipped one, if she cuts me off nobody will care. Every meeting night I feel so weary, and I swallow the bitter pill to fix this problem. I'll be married in a few moments, and I don't want this millstone around our necks. But what about darling mother? How could I break her heart? She thinks she's tough, but she's a fragile thing. Brought to you by Your Bible Trained Conscience (tm)
Guilt, the gift that keeps on giving
by sass_my_frass 9 Replies latest social family
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damselfly
((((((( sass )))))))
It sounds like she might already know the answers to her questions. I commend you for being able to go thru with it, I know that I wouldn't be able too. It's amazing the amount of guilt that our mothers feel intitled to give us isn't it?
Congrats on your upcoming marriage!
Damselfly
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delilah
Dear Sass......hang in there girl....it's not an easy road, but one that many of us walk....And Damselfly, you are so right....WHAT IS IT ABOUT MOTHERS???????and the GUILT they make us feel???? Mine is still after me, just as I fortold...after the summer assembly guilt trips....UGH!!!!!!
Delilah (P.S., CONGRATULATIONS on your impending nuptials, Sass....)
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homesteader
congrats on getting married. wish you well.
a few years back i seen a t-shirt that said "My mother is a travel agent for guilt trips."
Guilt is a powerful tool. Your mother is stronger than you think. Don't compromise your happiness or begin a new relationship with lies. Be honest to yourself and others. Mom can handle it.
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prophecor
Mom can handle it.
Or she should be made to just deal with it. Sorry. There goes my guilt. It's just the way of a Mother. They have the uncanny ability to load you up full bricks. Sorry to any of you mothers out there!!!!! Mines can work my bell curve, and she ain't even a witness. I love you Mom!!!! Really, I do!!!!
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mrs rocky2
What to do? I have a life long rail pass already purchased on my mother's guilt trip train! Rocky said I should reverse shun her for telling our daughter not to talk to her DF'd dad and that she will continue to talk to me until the local congregation makes an announcement to formally DF me too. But it's so hard not to hop on that train when an 81-year old granny lays into you! I sure hope I don't do that to my kids!
Mrs R
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mrsjones5
Sorry to any of you mothers out there!!!!!
Ah dont be sorry, my mother taught me how to be a better mother. She's a bitch but I love her.
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Netty
UGH, you poor thing. I know about the mother/guilt thing, all too well. Geeze! Why would she ask you such a question, does she really want to hear the answer? She should be happy that you are doing what you are doing, and leave well enough alone. Hang in there! Congratulaions on being married soon!
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crazyblondeb
I think most of us have those "long life rail passes" when it comes to guilt. I just got to a space where when my mom tries the guilt thing, I get angry at her. Works for me!!
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sass_my_frass
It's so hard to, say, concentrate on work, when I'm so often swamped by this guilt about all the lives I've disrupted. Darling mother considers herself exempt from the shunning rules, and although I think that she'd be happier if she wasn't violating her conscience, I don't want to be the one to be doing the cutting-off. And as it happens, it's only her guilt-trips that keep me going with this reinstatement; if I never heard from any of them again, I could get on with my life with only the occasional background voice reminding me of all the pain my family are going through. I don't want to be the cause of their pain, I want to fix this. I just have to keep swallowing this bitter pill and getting to the meetings, and eventually it will pay off. So it's simple for me, if I can not think about it; just go and go and go. But I don't need to hear about how hard it is for everybody else, and I might be better off not calling her so much. I need to convince her to trust that I'm doing what it takes to fix this, and to be calm.