I'm asking if people might take a moment to seriously consider this. Now by asking this question I don't mean to imply anything like "just get over it already" - I don't think it's so simple as that. But it's occurred to me that the mental freedom is actually not as valuable to some people as other things, and we do know the JW experience does effect other things in one's life like relationships and livelihood, or one's ability in these kinds of life arenas. And obviously those things are important, but my question is basically what is most important to you? Because you can have those things while not actually resolving the JW knot, so to speak. What do you really want?
Do you really want to get over it?
by Markfromcali 23 Replies latest watchtower medical
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Markfromcali
*listens to the crickets*
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luna2
Sorry, Mark, I'm having a little trouble deciphering the question. ...or maybe I'm just not in a thinking mood today.
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Satanus
Do you mean, is it necesary to totally resolve and leave behind the wt experience before moving ahead to the life we really want? Or, do you mean to ask if we have figured out what we really wanna do? Or, do you mean to ask if people like to wallow in misery? Or, are you suggesting that you wanna go back to the wt? Or, are ... Jesus, i gotta stop asking questions.
S
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Markfromcali
Obviously you can move on with your life before totally resolving the WT experience, it's evident that many here have done just that. What I am pointing to is whether that resolution is important to a person, or if it is more important to improve one's life in these different areas. There may be a recognition that they are interdependent, but when you get right down to it do you really want to resolve it as much as you want to have the things you miss(ed) out on in life and so on.
Put it this way, you could also ask "do you want to understand yourself, or just improve your experience in life?" That is essentially the same question. And yes, that does relate to whether you have figured out what you want. Because depending on the answer to the question, you would go down different roads. So clarity on this would logically be the first step.
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Sparkplug
Mark, I think that they are intertwined and as we understand ourselves, automaticlly therin lies a partial solution to get the things missed out on. We as lifers on the JW raising really did not get taught how to know ourselves. As we move on out into the so called "world" we learn a lot about ourselves.
Flip side-
As we reach for the things we missed out on, we in turn learn about ourselves. It is a wonderful, horrible, joyous and painful circle that is a learning and growing experience all in one. IMHO
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Ticker
Well I was a lifer and I have to agree with Sparkplug, its great to be out and the mental freedom is priceless but it takes time to learn and adjust away from the JW mold we were pushed into. After awhile you slowly mold your own being and its a good feeling.
Ticker
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Markfromcali
Yes, but what do you want? I did say understanding ourselves, but ultimately that comes to being free from that baggage. You can go back and forth like that without coming to that point. Because on the other hand you can ignore it and just find good life experiences and never deal with it - maybe. (obviously there are some who cannot do this)
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Sparkplug
Well being lost a bit on what you mean now....(I thought I was clear before), I would have to say that I want it all.
And that is exactly what I am getting.
But my version of all is maybe a bit smaller scale than others. I love my kids, I love that I have broken the mold and changed the lives of what I can change. My childrens. I love knowing myself and everyday is a new eyes open, wide awake, experience. Pain never felt as painful as it does now, and pleasure never felt better. I appreciate everything and to feel life without such mind numbing filters on is so very wonderful! It is great. Not just wanting it all, but actually not feeling guilt while I get it is priceless.
It is good knowing myself enough to know that this is truly enough for me. When I feel I am not getting what I need...I go get it.
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tetrapod.sapien
for me, ultimately, the most important state/thing is mental freedom. i really don't think i would have almost ruined my marriage, lost all my friends, and estranged my familiy if mental freedom was not all-important to me. i cannot consider myself truly human without it. it's the freedom to follow the facts and the feelings wherever they lead me. it is the freedom to learn whatever is important to me. but most importantly, it is the freedom to be wrong about things.
once i tasted it, i could not go on without it, much to the consternation of those who love me. but, unlike some (and perhaps this sounds cold and heartless), i do not define myself by those who love me. i define myself with mental freedom. and i'm not just saying that for the sake of this thread. i really mean it. i am practically a different person than i was a year ago, and it is because of exactly this.
scary, but unstoppable.