Other Types of Abuse...

by RichieRich 34 Replies latest jw friends

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  misspeaches

  
  In the cong I grew up in a 'sister' married a guy with 3 teenage children. Her own kids were all grown up married and moved away.

  This lady gave the oldest girl the worst time. The poor little thing was about 15 at the time. For the slightest even imagined infraction of this horrible ladies high standards resulted in a beating so severe that the poor little thing sported black eyes and other assorted scratches, cuts and bruises. She had no qualms in sporting this kind of behaviour in front of anyone. I personally saw her punch, slap and scratch the little girl.

  At the time I was about 19 or 20. I tried my best to befriend her. I ended up studying the young people ask book with her. (It was all I knew and I thought it was the best thing I could do) until after the bookstudy one night. We were having a cup-of-tea night (light supper at conclusion) and the little girl had been banned from eating anything. The wicked stepmother literally sat in front of her scoffing her face with cakes and biscuits etc. The poor little girl retaliated snatched a chocolate cookie and stuffed it into her mouth. Well the reaction that this got from her stepmother was the WORST display of child abuse in public. One of the 'brothers' pulled her off the child (mind you her own father stood by and let it all happen) and the little girl ran out of the house.

  I left and called child services and informed them of what had been going on and the recent events. The little girl was picked up and they must have seen the bruises or something because they took her away.

  I never heard from her again until a few years ago when she was at a shopping centre I was at. She walked up and just smiled and kept walking by. I don't know if she ever realised that I was trying to help her and she didn't want to bring up the past or what happened. It was the most disgusting display of chid abuse right there in the loving WTBTS organisation.
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  AllAlongTheWatchtower

  Oh sh__, the memories this thread brings back. I was never a JW, but in a similar group called the Worldwide Church of God. They definitely subscribed to the whole spare-the-rod-spoil-the-child philosophy. Perhaps it is something endemic to ALL cult/semicult groups? Stories already told by others match those I could tell, back rooms and restrooms and behind-the-building spots used for beatings on a regular basis. As for the labeling of favorite beating tools, my father had a slat of wood that was a piece from a chest of drawers that'd been broken up, he took a magicmarker and wrote the word 'HELP' on it. ("Boy, I swear to god that whenever you do wrong, I'm gonna HELP you do right")

  I've always thought it ironic that one of the touting points of the WCG (and from what I've seen, the JWs too), was how well-behaved their children are. 'Come, join us, and you too can have GOOD little children'. Well of course we were good, we were f___ing scared stiff to do anything wrong, most of the time.

  I wasn't entirely honest in the first post I ever made here; I gave a brief description of how I was kicked out of the WCG for being 'an evil influence' on other children. Due to a natural hesitation to lay all my cards on the table at once, I neglected to also mention that at the time, I had been removed from my parents' house by the office of social services (which my father loved to refer to as 'The SS'). Our next door neighbors heard me being drubbed one too many times, and had decided enough was enough and reported it. The local minister who DF'ed me also said something to the effect of 'you think you've got your parents behind the 8ball now'. What an eye-opener it was to live with a normal family in fostor care for 9 months, and not have to go to services anymore. It changed everything.
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  Soledad

  • Were you spanked? I was often hit, beat up but not at the KH, not that I can remember at all.

  • How Regularly / severly? depended on mother's mood. when I was 6 she broke my nose over something very trivial, I kind of remember a set of keys that were lost. when I was about 3 or 4 she yanked me off the backyard porch and beat me with a belt, for I don't even know what reason. I am not saying that I was a perfect angel but mother just made too big a deal out of things that were very small. So one time when I was 7 I took a dime out of her bag and bought a gumball from a gumball machine. Did she have to leave red marks on my legs from a belt beating because she "doesn't want me to become a thief?" As I got a little older I got beat for being "fresh." I never cursed at her. But I wasn't scared of her manipulative little ways so I verbalized exactly what I thought when I thought it.

  • Did your parent ever "lose control" and truly BEAT you? yes when I was 10 we were on our way to a meeting, riding in another JW's couple car. I was in the front seat she was in the back. all of the sudden she pulled my hair hard, which jerked my head back very violently. I screamed because I was in pain then as my head was arched back the bitch punched me in the eye. I couldn't see out of that eye for several days. I asked her what she did that for, she said that I was, allegedly, very rude to her when I answered the phone over at my aunt's house (this is one of those mood things I mentioned before. Several days had passed since I was at my aunt's house, but she only decided to address her issue right at that moment). It turns out that it was my cousin who answered the phone, not me! When I told her this she just replied "oh." even that couple riding with us thought my mother crossed the line---and they were notorious child abusers

  • Do you know of others who were worse off? unfortunately yes. there was a girl (the couple's daughter mentioned in the above paragraph) her mother beat her mercilessly at every meeting. the girl was disabled for crying out loud! her older sister was burned, slapped, whipped, beaten, you name they did it to her. not to mention her stepfather fondled her.

  • How widespread do you feel this problem is? I CANNOT EVEN BEGIN TO IMAGINE JUST HOW WIDESPREAD THE PROBLEM IS, BUT IT'S THERE!!
• 

  talesin

  I decided not to add the post I had written, but this thread has brought up a lot of memories of different kinds of abuse ...

  Just want to give a group hug to the thread, and to all reading it... you are all strong survivors. Now, let's all vow to be thrivers!

  {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{EVERYONE}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

  xo

  t
• 

  Low-Key Lysmith

  Man, my Mom used to beat the living shit out of me. Her weapon of choice was the belt. She once hit me over the head with a cast-iron skillet and knocked me out cold. My Dad was never really much of a disciplinarian, but he did punch me in the face once for taking a pistol to the Kingdom Hall. (I was a dumb-ass kid and wanted to show my buddies that I had a gun.) He was really pissed about that one. My Uncle was/is a real monster though. I mentioned in another thread about how he beat my cousin with a hammer once. He also used to beat him with a cane. My cousin's really screwed-up emotionally as a result. Poor guy. To this day it makes me wince when I see people spank their kids. My Mom had a really violent temper. I have vowed if I ever have kids, that the cycle of abuse stops here.
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  RichieRich

  Just as I suspected... you guys have pretty much described what I dealt with too. Good to know I wasn't the only one.

  Low-Key- I've been thinking this for a while- but that tat looks pretty cool. Any chance you got a bigger/better pic of it?
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  Junction-Guy

  More children are beaten at a kingdom hall than anyplace I have ever seen. Now I wasnt abused by my Mom, but we were spanked quite frequently at the meetings, and for reasons that werent legit. The children screaming bloody murder were enough to unsettle most "normal" people, but the JW's just laughed it off, and even took turns spanking each others kids. The thursday night service meeting was the worst, and was one of the reasons my grandma quit going as she couldnt bear seeing little kids beat merciless. Perhaps someone could take a secret camcorder into the meeting and catch some of this on film, then turn it over to the news media.

  The children got dragged to the bathroom, the 2nd school, and even sometimes out back. They used to take them out the front door, but they decided that worldly people would drive by and get the wrong impression, so they made them start beating their children out of public view, you know they wouldnt want reproach brought on Jehovah's organization now would they?

  Dave
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  Frog

  My father would constantly remind us that he had the responsibility to "use the rod" or the broom, or the strap, or the electric jug cord, or whatever was lying around...he would frequently twist scriptures to justify his violent behaviour. My older sister used to stand up for us when she could, and because of this he would tell her that he would break her in like a horse. I remember standing back powerless as he would hit her head on the tiled floor. I would try to console my little brother after he had received "the strap", and as a result would cop it myself. A large part of the punishment was that the "wrongdoer" would have to go to their room and cry in isolation. The "discipline" was never consistent, we got it mostly when we didn't deserve it, and on occasions when we possible did. My sisters and my bedroom walls used to have strap marks on the paintjob, from where dad had swung and missed lol! It was pretty much routine that when we got home from the k/hall my sister and I would race to the bedroom and put as many tracksuit pants and clothes on as possible, so as to get maximum padding for minimum pain. After our painful round table family studies you could almost evertime guarantee that someone would cop it for misbehaving. It was so bloody dull, and it was bloody hard for us all to sit back and listen to our wise family head preach at us, while he physically beat all us kids, and treated my mother like absolute trash, while rocking up for meetings looking holy as ever with his well behaved kids by his side. frog of the I will probably never have tadpoles class, but if I ever did would treat them with love and respect frog
• 

  Netty

  Sorry everyone for all that you had to go through gowing up.

  Ms. Froggie,

  and put as many tracksuit pants and clothes on as possible, so as to get maximum padding for minimum pain

  this reminds me of how my brother used to put a baggie pair of pants on, and then put a thick book inside his pants, so he couldnt feel the belt.

  And your round table family studies, sound just as loving as mine were growing up. My brother had dislexia, and it was just agonizng, my dad would make him read outloud from the bible, or witchtower, and inevitably he would stumble on his words. I never forgot the time my dad threw a shoe at hime from across the room, and hit him in the head with it, for doing this.

  Guess what, I brought this up to my brother, who is now 35, and he SAYS, he doesn't remember it.
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  PaulJ

  I was smacked but never excessively (i dont think) Im sure i deserved it on some occasions. Im not totally against smacking children as long as it is done in a balanced way, and never excessively, and always as a last resort to other methods of discipline.