JW dating sites and the number of divorced!

by toladest 20 Replies latest jw friends

  • toladest
    toladest

    I was curious to see if I knew anyone that would post on a JW dating site so I checked out JW connections that is linked to on this page. I did not find anyone I know but I was kinda shocked to see the number of ones there that were "divorced, but free to marry". Is this a big problem now or is it just that more Divorced JW's use the web to find "mates".

    When I was a dub, just 7 years ago it was always a major scandel when someone was divorced. I did see it a few times in the younger ones, but more often I saw people live miserably with each other rather than divorce.

    I knew one "sister" whose husband was VERY physically abusive to her and her 5 kids. When she FINALLY left him she was looked down upon heavily in the congergation, even though her husband had been arrested for beating her up in the street! He was a cruel monster and yet she was told that he had not committed Adultry so she did not have grounds for divorce! I know that the society recieved "new light" on that one later and said you could leave but not be free to remarry. Have the requirements for divorce loosened even more? Are more JW's divorcing now? Is it still as big a deal?

  • seattleniceguy
    seattleniceguy

    toladest,

    Anecdotal evidence indicates that the divorce rate has indeed gone up in the JW organization. However, since they don't subject themselves to demographic scrutiny, it is difficult to come up with any solid figures.

    With regard to the dating sites, I would be very careful about drawing conclusions from the slice of the JW population that you see there, since it is probably not a representative subset.

    I don't believe that the requirements to divorce and remarry have changed at all, but in my experience, more people are willing to either:

    • Divorce and hope their ex will have sex with someone, freeing them to remarry
    • Divorce and deliberately have sex with someone, and then show repentance, hoping for a pardon
    • Divorce and accept not being able to marry again

    In my last hall, there were many divorced people. Probably close to half the marriagable publishers had been divorced.

    SNG

  • stillajwexelder
    stillajwexelder

    Divorce and deliberately have sex with someone, and then show repentance, hoping for a pardon

    this is the one that is most popular in the congregations in our area

  • Elsewhere
    Elsewhere

    It's the women's fault!

    ***

    w75 5/15 p. 314 A People Zealous for Fine Works ***

    14

    The trend toward more aggressiveness and independence by women has produced much strife in the home and a soaring divorce rate. How praiseworthy to see a Christian wife display a zeal for fine works by loving submission to her husband! She goes beyond what might be expected in the world, demonstrating an earnest desire to contribute to his happiness and well-being. When their personal preferences differ, respect for his headship prevents her from trying to force him to do what he has already turned down. She performs household duties joyfully, being rewarded by the appreciation of the family. The preparation of meals is not just a routine chore but a choice opportunity to fill a need that adds much to the well-being of those she loves. She finds satisfaction in maintaining a neat, attractive home because her family enjoys pleasant surroundings. These are fine works appreciated by her family, and for these she rightly "procures praise for herself."—Prov. 31:30.

  • jeanniebeanz
    jeanniebeanz
    this is the one that is most popular in the congregations in our area


    And the most pleasant, I'll wager...

    J


    *throws bricks at Elsie for posting that particularly painful and angering read* *and don't stick your tongue out at me, Little Boy*

  • Elsewhere
    Elsewhere

  • luna2
    luna2

    Geeze, Elsewhere, thanks for posting that good Watchtowery advice to wives.

    Last Friday, our cashier at the store was photocopying this article purporting to be from a 1955 magazine called, Houskeeping Monthly, entitled The good wife's guide. It's an amusing read until you realize that this is the JW ideal even today.

    http://www.royalflushproductions.com/images/housekeeping.jpg

  • Netty
    Netty

    Divorce and deliberately have sex with someone, and then show FAKE repentance, hoping for a pardon

  • proandcon
    proandcon

    Netty...right on...how about this scenario...want a divorce so you commit adultery with someone than "repent"...advise your spouse to leave you because of your infraction...meanwhile tell the elders it was just a moment of weakness and get off with reproof vs being dfd...I've personally experienced this one...a JW guide to using the rules to end your marriage...

  • Dan-O
    Dan-O

    "How praiseworthy to see a Christian wife display a zeal for fine works by loving submission to her husband!"

    Whn I firt read this, I thought you said 'fire works' ... like there would be rockets going off when we made the beast with two backs or something, ya know?

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