UN Creates Combined Strike Force

by EvilForce 13 Replies latest social humour

  • EvilForce
    EvilForce

    There is a lot of talk about the United Nations creating a combined strike force with troops from several nations included in it.
    Could it work? Let's take a look at one operation.
    A combined force beach landing on a tropical island.
    When the troops hit the beach.........

    The Royal Marines go fishing.
    The US Marines wait for CNN to arrive.
    The Indians build a Motel Six, a convenience store and gas station.
    The French don't care whose beach it is; it's French territory now, and say the English gave them no other choice.
    The Canadians watch the Americans very closely, then offer guard their landing strip.
    The Dutch have a beach party and smoke some dope saying the English don't understand them.
    The Italians go sunbathing.
    The Germans land and build a car factory.
    The Austrians just watch the Russians and Germans.
    The Chinese win the natives hearts and minds then kill them.
    The SEALs arrive after dark and kill anyone who is not a SEAL.
    The Aussies and Kiwis land then start fighting each other over a sheep.
    The South Americans send a contingent of 2000 generals.
    The South Africans start shooting at anyone with a tan.
    The Saudi's start drilling for oil.
    The Russians open a chain of massage parlours.
    The Brit airborne troops get charged with murder even though they have not opened fire yet.
    The Spanish are late.
    The Portuguese are late but blame the Spaniards.
    The Greeks and Turks turn up then send a bill to the Yanks and Brits.
    The British Army cannot come because all six of them have flu.
    The Japanese don't know who owns what ships and decide to sink them all.
    The Californian National Guard contingent won't land until someone opens a Starbucks.
    The New Yorkers paint their Amtrak's yellow and will take you ashore for 50 bucks.
    The Irish Army will be late because they say they are stll celebrating St. Patrick's Day.
    The Israeli's start building a kibbutz and shell the Palestinians as a precaution.
    The Scandinavians like it off shore and stay there killing whales for the Japanese.
    The Polish tunnel under the beach looking for coal.
    The Palestinians say it used to be theirs but the English gave it away.
    The Oklahomans have no damn idea what a beach is.
    The Scottish claim to have found the beach first but accuse the English of stealing it.
    The Mexicans invade Arizona by mistake.
    The Welsh say it's King Arthur's last resting place but the English stole it.
    The Swiss apply for a bank charter.
    The Lybians blow up two UN planes. The UN will send an Ambassador if the member states pay their dues.
    The Panamanians ask the U.S. what they should do.
    The EU want to set up a commission of 50,000 administrators paid for by the English.
    The Swedes just want to screw.
    The Romanians and Albanians finally arrive and surrender.
    The North Koreans have no idea what is going on but blame America anyway.
    Geoge W. Bush doesn't know where the island is, so he orders the U.S. Airforce to bomb Hawaii.

  • EscapedLifer1
    EscapedLifer1

    ROTFLMAO!!!!

    Thanks for that, I needed a good laugh this morning!

    Brandon

  • Rabbit
    Rabbit

    That is more likely to be the way it goes down than not.

    I needed a laugh, too

    Rabbitism

  • Netty
    Netty

    hee hee, EF, you're funny!

  • Jourles
    Jourles
    The Indians build a Motel Six, a convenience store and gas station.

    ...and are given the responsibilty to set up call center operations.

  • Pole
    Pole
    The Polish tunnel under the beach looking for coal.


    Is this a Polish joke (like - nobody but a bunch of stupid Poles would dig a mine under a beach - hahaha)? Or is there a real stereotype behind it? If so what is it? Don't get it. I'm only Polish. Not American-Polish fortunately, though. LOL.
    Pole - of the "proud son of Poland" class LOL

  • EvilForce
    EvilForce

    Pole....love the new avatar.

    EvilForce - Of the wishing Pole was gay class :)

  • Pole
    Pole

    Bad Luck EF.

    Thanks - I'm hopelessly straight. And resistant to the "evil forces" of the gayest gays :-) I had to learn to live with a (now ex-) dub flatmate who was gay. My best friend to this day. Great, great guy, but he moved to Luxembourg two months ago.

    But... If you ever need accommodation in Luxembourg or in Poland for that matter - just let me know.


    Pole

  • the_classicist
    the_classicist
    The Canadians watch the Americans very closely, then offer guard their landing strip

    Canada has an army?!

  • jeanniebeanz
    jeanniebeanz

    Bad, EF!! BAD!!!

    Go to your room!

    Jean

    ("dying laughing" class)

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