How do you trust your partner? (page 3)

EvilForce

It takes lots of communication. Lots of respect. And lots of understanding. Sure it's scary putting yourself out like that. But if someone is going to "cheat" they are going to find a way to cheat....no matter how many phone calls you make, how short the leash, or distrust. Relationships are tough sometimes, but oh so great other times :)
As Dub's we were taught to distrust everyone. Not a way I've chosen to live my life anymore.

sonnyboy

Billygoat, we call each other 'names' all the time. I don't think that's a lack of respect since we don't take it seriously. It's sort of like when black people call one another niggas. It's not meant as an insult.

We're not the PC, lovey-dovey type, and that's not the problem.

In retrospect, I guess it was kind of rude of me to use that word here. I was just angry that such a low stunt would be pulled right in front of me (I'm also not sure if anything's going on or not).

Es

My fiance is soooo loyal to me that its kinda scary. Scary in the fact that im not sure if I am as loyal as him. He trusts me completely which amazes me as i dont even trust myself. I know its a horriable thing to say but its the truth, i dont trust myself, i dont trust myself to drink to much and not flirt thats why i stopped goin to bars after i got together with my now fiance. As for him he is like i dont need anybody else but you....I could never sleep with anybody else but you. es

talesin

I try to have trust for my own sake, but it seems that I'm being purposely provoked with jealousy on a daily basis. "This person was flirting with me today." "I'm going out to dinner with a friend from work (said in a provocative way)", etc.

I don't trust people who intentionally hurt me and/or provoke me. Why not tell her straight out that you want to trust her, and these behaviours aren't helping? That's direct, and to the point. It lets her know exactly where you stand.

Relationship is relationship. I don't hang out with friends who yank my chain, and I especially wouldn't want that behaviour from a lover.

Trusting a partner is a leap of faith --- the key is in trusting yourself, and your emotional capability to handle whatever the future brings. Then you can enter a romantic relationship, and you and your partner can establish boundaries that you are both comfortable with. There are no guarantees in love, just as there are no guarantees in any relationship.

tal

avishai

I was just angry that such a low stunt would be pulled right in front of me (I'm also not sure if anything's going on or not).

If it was pulled right in front of ya, it's highly unlikely you have much to worry about, other than she wants attention. It's what they do BEHIND your back that you have to worry about.

prophecor

Trust leaves one open to vulnerability.

Without putting yourself in the line of fire, Sonnyboy, one can never find that comfort zone of trust, in fact, leaving ourselves open to being vulnerable is the only way trust and true love are going to show themselves up as being true. Vulnerability leaves one open to trust, unless the other party proves beyond a shadow of a doubt through their actions that they have violated that trust.

What kind of time do you have invested in this relationship? 3 months, 6 months, a year ? Time is what brings about a degree of trust as well, that, and the ability to predict what this person you're involved with is going to do from one day to the next. If you and this other individual are freshly invested in each others lives, it could take a couple of years to get the proper feel for each other. As regards the flirting issue, she could be merely playing head games, and I would question the validity of someone's intent who deliberately tries to make me feel jealous in the first. Good Luck, Sonny Boy as it appears you have your hands full.

CoonDawg

I think that part of the appeal of "love" is the idea that you put yourself at risk. It's part of why you get the old feeling of butterflies in the stomach when love is new. Sure it's a risk, but what better risk to take?

My wife and I have a life where trust is crucial. I drive a truck for a living, gone from home for 3 to 4 days at a time. If I wanted to play around, as long as I didn't catch anything or run my mouth when drunk, who would know? My wife also is alone those 3 or 4 days, and she also travels for work from time to time...same opportunities for her if she so chose. We both have come to trust one another. Jealous love is a love held prisoner. Living with a jealous partner is no way to live life. We are with one another because we want to be. Should that ever change, I gues one of us will find somewhere else to live.

Ern

Scully

I'd have a hard time trusting anyone that referred to me as

my biotch

but I'm funny that way.

sonnyboy

I'd have a hard time trusting anyone that referred to me as...

If you could see the way she's been acting lately, you'd understand why I said that.

She says that a guy from her neighborhood who she 'doesn't know' always flirts with her while she's walking her dog, and when we see him at the car dealership she's all up in his face, looking back at me smiling while I'm waiting patiently in my vehicle? Then she acts all coy when she gets in the car, smiling as if I should think that something's going on.

What kind of **** is that? This is just the tip of the iceberg.

sonnyboy

Prophecor:

It's only been about 4 months. At first everything was fine, so I'm thinking that it just wasn't meant to be. I did bring up her behavior in the past, and she denies it with her famous BS smile.

"I do not act like that." (spoken in a slow, whiny voice)

Then why in the hell are you smiling while you say it?

I hate when women do that during a serious discussion. It's like saying, "You've got me pegged and I want you to know it, even though I'm telling you otherwise."

How do you trust your partner?

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