told mom to have a nice life!

by crazyblondeb 19 Replies latest jw friends

  • crazyblondeb
    crazyblondeb

    I did something tonight that was long overdo! My mom was reinstated a couple years ago. There are 5 of us kids that are no longer JW's. Our relationship as always been rocky. She's been on this kick tonight about how I had to come back to Jehovah, and my life would be easier (gag me). Trying the guilt trip since my daughter and granddaughter "won't make it thru the "A"". I'm a recovering addict. Clean a year next month. But according to her, if she does anything to help me right now, she's enabling me. (that would have been right last year.) Basically, she's had that damn holier than thou attitude. She's emailed me probably 4 emails, all saying the same shit. I was trying to be nice, a little respectful. But that just went out the window!!!

    I reminded her since I"m df'd, she shouldn't talk to me. (hint,hint) I havn't needed her in the last 15 years. I damn sure don't want her around now. I told her to have a nice life, and stay out of my family's life. This is the mom that witnessed my stepdad molesting me, and did nothing!

    I actually feel better. I didn't cuss her, didn't tell her I"m pagan AND an apostate. Oh, but did I want to so badly!!!

    thanks for letting me vent!

    shelley

  • Ellie
    Ellie

    If I was there I would give you a big hug.

    I'm sure you have done the right thing, you don't need those negative influances in your life, especially when you are recovering from an addiction.

    Time to move on and put her behind you I think.

  • Netty
    Netty

    Wow, must have been alot of build up hu? I am glad for you, I know how we hold back for some reason, then when we let it go, we really let it go. I know this had to have made an impact on her, that I am sure has got her thinking. At least you got her thinking.

  • homesteader
    homesteader

    GO GIRL!!!!!!!.

    Congratulation on your one year of recovery. Keep up the good work. I think you did what was best. You've gotten out of a lot of shit and now need to stay out of it, mother and jw's included.

    Best Wishes. Grace

  • kls
    kls

    Good for you ,no one needs that kind of BS in their lives . I stopped talking to most of my family years ago and had nothing to with jws but enough is enough. Live your life as you want not as they want

  • Jankyn
    Jankyn

    Happy anniversary! A year clean is something to celebrate. Don't let her bring you down.

    I'm coming up on my 19th sobriety anniversary in August, and have found that my JW mother had quite a bit of trouble with my recovering outside of "da Troof." It made her a bit hostile that AA could do for me what the Borg could not, and she'd often try to tell me that she was using "tough love" and "not enabling me," when in fact she was just being a pain.

    My recovery and the spirituality that has accompanied it are proof that JWs do not have the answer--if I'd had to call on Jehovah to get clean and sober, I'd be dead by now. Instead, I could turn to a higher power--God as I understand it--which is the ultimate insult to most JWs. While I believe she's happy that I'm sober, I also sense a great deal of anxiety from her--as if my continued recovery is a challenge, not only to her own lack of mental health, but to her entire belief system (which I guess it is!).

    Anyway, let her go. Do whatever you need to do to find peace, and keep up the good work.

    Jankyn

  • love2Bworldly
    love2Bworldly

    Congratulations on your anniversary! You should be very proud of yourself. Family members can be very stressful, I'm finding the older I get the less I want to be around my siblings because of their negativity & dysfunctionalism. I'm glad they live out of town.

  • foreword
    foreword

    Great and congratulations....it's tough to get rid of addictions....I've got a couple myself and absolutely no will power or convictions to stop them....someday maybe....

    My family?.....well they agreed I should be booted out, let them live with it, I don't care and from what I see around me with people trying to make families work and all the back stabbing and BS that goes with it, in a sense, I'm kind of happy they disfellowshipped me, I don't have to try to be nice.

  • I quit!
    I quit!

    I'm glad you were able beat your addicition, congratulations. Your mother sounds like a very unhappy person. Only unhappy people become jdubs or go back to it once they have left. I think you did the right thing breaking ties with her if for no other reason than that she allow bad things to happen to you as a child and doesn't seem to have acknowledged it. Years ago while really into the dub thing my brother-in-law asked me a question. He said: "Do you know why Jehovah's Witness go door to door trying to get people to join?" Then he said: "because misery likes company". That statement rattled around my head for years before the truth of it finally surfaced. I think that is what is going on with your mother. She wants company in her misery. If you are a decent person you need people in your life that accept you for who you are without trying to change you to be like them. I'm not saying they have to agree with you, just realize people have different beliefs and interest have the right to do so. This is something jw's don't understand.

  • Purza
    Purza

    Good for you! I wish I could say the same thing for my mother. Hopefully soon.

    Purza

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