I have noticed from reading over this site and from having contact with former Witnesses in my personal life, that a lot of time is consumed in the beginning of your exit from the Witnesses, with finding further reasons to hate or dislike the Jehovah's Witnesses.
With this I was wondering, is this done to give yourself more reason not to return or is it an expression of your freedom to find out what you want without borders. From a pure psychological stand-point, I am prone to wonder if it is a means of feeding an inner anger to bring one a faults sense of security, when they are challenged from within to decide if what they are really dealing with is correct thinking or a path that is truly wrong.
Who hasn't at times wondered when things like natural disasters, wars or personal tragedy, happen in life, "are the Jehovah's Witnesses actually right!" What I wonder though, is it sound in mind to replace these doubts with something that makes us angry. For example, we hear about 9/11 and wonder if this is the end, even if only for a split second of time (happens, I can face that), does my mind benefit to instantly remember, "But those Witnesses have covered up child abuse" or "They have changed their beliefs to control their people?"
In any sense it seems to me, personally, that healing does not mean that we pile anger upon confusion to solve a problem and to do so can only replace our lives with a path of extreme unhealthy confusion, when in many ways we were looking at some form of loving path in the past (faults as it may have been). I just sit and wonder, with all the years that have passed by since my exit, how much of those ups and downs were filled with thoughts of anger about items I search for after the exit and how much was really the reason I left for.
I guess what I am trying to say, and I am perhaps saying it wrong, is that we all left or were expelled for a reason. If that reason was so weak that we had to look for something later to make it more solid, then are we truly being true to ourselves about what life has brought us to or are we merely just making it up as we go along to make ourselves feel better about something we really do not truly believe. Yet we spoon feed ourselves enough daily to keep the faith in doubt alive. In any sense, it was something I was thinking about and wanted to see some input on. As I am sure such a statement can create several avenues of thinking, and perhaps an insight I have not thought of. In all though, to say my thinking on this matter is limited to a few paragraphs and not more detailed in completion, would be incorrect and narrow and aspect.