Such vitriol is counterproductive. While the actions of the woman in the example are certainly insensitive, it is not fair to say that the behaviour is typical of all Witnesses. Officially, they are 'encouraged' to be helpful and supportive of people they study with.
That said, the 'genuine' interest of Witnesses in those they study with dissolves very quickly when a study loses interest in the truth™.
There are plenty of factual things to find fault with about the Watchtower Society rather than nit-picking on the actions of individual members.
No compassion during Bible Study
by Grace 27 Replies latest jw friends
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Jeffro
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Crumpet
In case no one has already said - Welcome to Swirlgirl and Zagor!
And Jeffro the board is about sharing experiences and memories - some of which are specific and personal. I like reading them - if we just generalised about everything well it would be pretty boring here. Its not so much nitpicking as getting down to the nitty gritty.
When I tried to kill myself and was recovering in hospital - no one from teh hall came to see me - literally dozens of worldly people who had only known me a short time or had met me just a couple of times came to see me. Eventually 2 elders did come - not to see how I was but to tell me that I'd have to attend a judicial committe as murder, even of oneself and even if you didn't manage it was a disfellowshipping committee. I was overwhelmed by their compassion.
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jgnat
OOOOOOOPS!
I read this story, and wondered what might be missing in that poor elder's wife's education.
True, JW's are told to have compassion, but in their regulated lives they are not given much instruction on how that is to be accomplished. For them, the solution to all life's problems is to focus on the new system, book study, field service, and meeting attendance.
Even a masectomy is a temporary problem in this present world.
I can tell, when I make small talk with a JW, that their primary concern is not the state of my garden, but whether or not they are going to be able to count their time, and if they are particularly sensitive, where my eternal destination will be. It is hard to concentrate on the individual when all these background concerns are crowding for attention.
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outnfree
Confession and Jethro,
I rather doubt that Grace would have recalled this event if the elder's wife had blurted out something incredibly insensitve as reported, but then backtracked to offer her study (single mother of THREE?!!!) some compassionate assistance. We have all made gaffes and responded inappropriately at times to bad news, but a civilized CHRISTIAN would have realized her mistake at once, apologized, and proceeded to offer concrete help. Surely this incident stuck out because NO amendments were made to elderette's "I've-got-my-own-agenda" remark.
outnfree
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Jeffro
Crumpet, I'm sorry that you inferred from my post that people shouldn't relate their personal experiences. People sharing their personal experiences is certainly important.
My point was about applying generalisations to a whole group of people. Saying all JWs don't have compassion is like saying all Worldly™ people are bad. -
Grace
Outnfree hit the nail on the head. I remember this incident because the sister, who still has a terrific standing as a very righteous one in the congregation, skipped away from the house, got in the car, and immediately wrote down 1 1/2 hours for the study. I remember the phone calls I received from her Elder husband when I disassociated myself. The elders wanted to meet with me, of course, and I said over and over again, "You are not going to chastise me in my own household." I had abruptly gone from almost 100% meeting attendance to nothing. So, he called persistently and said things like, "We hate to lose you from the Christian congregation."
I always knew the Christian congregation was not composed of suchlike ones.
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Jeffro
A sister in my old congregation started a study with a physically disabled woman in field service. Even though the lady had a severe speech impediment and other problems, the sister patiently continued the study at the lady's own pace, and also visited to talk about other issues without counting time. The sister took the lady to hospital and other appointments, helped her with her shopping and was supportive of her problems even though interest in the actual bible study was declining. When it was learned that the lady's carer was using the government carer's pension for alcahol, the sister helped the lady get back in touch with her estranged adult children in New Zealand, with whom she became re-united.
They're not all evil. -
acsot
Even though the lady had a severe speech impediment and other problems, the sister patiently continued the study at the lady's own pace, and also visited to talk about other issues without counting time. The sister took the lady to hospital and other appointments, helped her with her shopping and was supportive of her problems even though interest in the actual bible study was declining. When it was learned that the lady's carer was using the government carer's pension for alcahol, the sister helped the lady get back in touch with her estranged adult children in New Zealand, with whom she became re-united.
After my mother's third stroke, and she remained paralyzed, several JWs were particularly selfless in helping out. Two of them make the Red Cross look slack in the amount of assistance they render to others, not only my mother when she was alive, and no, they certainly don't count their time for it.
There are good and bad everywhere. Of course, the dynamics of an insular, restrictive group such as the JWs foster all manner of negative psychological behavior, but that's a whole other discussion and I'm sleepy .
And I also have no doubt that Grace told the story exactly as it happened. Some JWs are like that, some aren't. I know of a CO's wife who was every bit as heartless as the JW in Grace's story. And she's been diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. Karma?