Hi, there where a lot of reactions to my post, and some very useful. By the way I guess on this board there are not many witnesses around (mostly ex-) I guess. I would like to hear from those inside too, but ….
I want to give some more details and replies to some of the reaction and suggestions.
It is good to here that I am not alone in this situation, and appreciate that you shared your personal experiences with me.
First of all, there are no kids involved in this situation. That makes things a bit easier, because lying to my own kids and influencing them in this way would be something unforgivable for me. Then the decision would be made much earlier I guess, and more suddenly.
Second, my current congregation is quite liberal and I manage to start and encourage some ways of freethinking in my talks and comments by asking provocative questions etc. Even if most are within the designed framework, as you understand what I mean. It is actually quite surprising how far you can go without people or other elders saying something.
Then third some people suggested that I do not have a life within the organization. I do not agree with this that much. I had a good education even growing up in the ‘truth’ (excuse me for still using the JW vocabulary). I studied at a university and have a degree in some sciences. Second, I have a job that pays very well and gives me satisfaction too. (I never told them on my work I am a JW). I do the sports what I like (I even play in some competitions, which should not be okay, but other elders are okay with it). For other things you can get away with a lot of things if you just don’t tell it to the wrong people. Be selective. And yes just showing up and doing something else for the field service is also easy. (Nice suggestion Blondie, I already practiced this a lot).
So when people say, get out and get a life, there is not much that I would like to change actually.
Anyway, when I say that I still think that the JW”s are one of the best religions, I do not mean that I think anything they say or teach is true. The opposite actually. I do not think that they are very harmful. In the time I did see people change for the better. The most things that they teach are actually good. (Respect, peace, love you neighbors etc). The only thing is, I am quite sure there is no God. (The discussion to this is off topic now I think).
I still think that the organization is not a bad organization. I do not mean that I agree or believe anything they say. The thing about blood is a bit questionable at least, but most religions have some things like that and mostly worse. It did maybe cost some lives but that is their explanation and everybody making its own decision finally. Anyway a lot of lives are saved on the other hand in the no smoking policy.
The society tries to keep things together on the only way that is possible, by limiting own thoughts. I would not work any other way I guess, if you want unity. I think that most in the society (the top) are sincere and that they are thinking they do the right things. They probably know they are not honest in everything for that, but there are biblical examples enough for this. They probably themselves thing that they are used by God. There is not a big financial scandal as far as I can see either.
The thing with the U.N. is something small for me, and something I actually do not understand so much. Why did they do it in the first place, what they wanted to gain? It was a bit stupid that is all I guess. Nothing criminal or so.
Then of course there is some (not extreme) indoctrination and brain washing. But that is done everywhere. Look for example at the American government. The ‘we are Americans, and we are good’ doctrine is washing in all American brains every day. Everyone and everything is influencing you or trying to influence you. So yes of course the society is doing the same.
So the only thing is, and that is for almost all religion, that they slow down the progress of the human race, limit the freedom of thoughts etc. But most people seem to need somebody to think for them. If it isn’t the society it is somebody else. People seem to need religion and fairy-tales. Without them most can’t be happy. So what is better get that from them?
So then what am I complaining? Just that it would be so nice to speak the truth for once to my friends and family.
Would you get disfellowshipped for telling that you think that there is no God at all? Even after you have faded out already?
Anyway, sorry for all this text, but I more or less made my mind up already before, and most suggestions seem to conform this. Just fade out. Take it easier, quit things one by one. I already busy for some time with this.
It would be nice to go out with a blast, but I know nobody will have profit from it. And I do not know how fair it would be even if I were able to undermine their faith in God. Would it make them happier? Probably not.
Thanks again, I’ll keep posting
