If your mate, had an affair, what would you do ??? really, think it out ... (page 3)

happyout

My husband put me through a lot when we were dating, no need to go into details, but suffice it to say, if he cheats he knows there is no way no how I would ever forgive him, or try to "work through it". I would try to make the divorce as amicable as possible for the sake of my son, but I know that having my son live in the kind of atmosphere that would be in our home if I didn't kick my husband out would be far more disastrous to him than a divorce.

Trust is a fragile thing, and rebuilding it can be almost impossible (this is the voice of experience speaking). I don't judge others who do, in many ways I admire them, but for me, there is no return from that journey, one time or long term doesn't matter.

My opinion only,

Happyout

EvilForce

We have an open relationship...so therefore this isn't an issue. At the end of the day it's just sex after all.

Ellie

EvilForce - sex is just sex for a man but I doubt very few women would agree.

Ellie

I mean I doubt many women would agree

144001

If we are very selfcentered then yes I suppose it would hurt greatly to the degree that we are selfcentered, the less selfcentered the less we would hurt.

Expecting others to honor their commitments and being hurt when they don't is not being "self centered." This is the most ridiculous bullsh#t I've read today.

RichieRich

This happened to a buddy of mine.

He married her when he was 19 and she was 18. After 2 years of marriage, he found at she had been cheating on him for the past 6 months. Because he still wanted sex, he took her back. Now 6 years past- he finds out she had been cheating on him for the past 2 years! He was through with her, let her keep her car, and took everything else. Their divorce will be final in August. I've seen how much it hurt him (he's a nice guy) and I would never do that to someone I loved and I would never tolerate it.

Thats just my 2 cents...

frankiespeakin

144,

You are entitled to your opinion, but I don't understand your counter argument. Could you explain what not honoring ones comitment has to do with feelings of hurt that are not selfcenter based.

frankiespeakin

The way I see it is, the more selfcentered we are the more the pain of loss effects us, and we feel that possessing cetain things outside ourselves is important to our happiness. I don't think this is an incorrect way to feel, it is merely more painful, and I consider it a neurosis of the mind that is very harmful and destructive.

M.J.

First, I'd have her turned in to the Elders!

Then, I'd see about how things would stack in my favor regarding divorce / child custody in light of the situation.

Ultimately, the kids would be my first concern. Because of them I'd be more willing to talk/seek out a resolution rather that simply bolting out the door.

crazyblondeb

My ex did cheat on me. The bitch he was doing was also married. Her husband's sister had been following her, because they suspected she was cheating. Her sister in law manage to film them driving to a house, necking on the porch. When they went inside, she video'd them in the living room making out. And NO, they didn't notice it.

I was working a 16 hour shift and was given the tape the next day. Oh, I got even! My ex has sleep apnea REAL bad. I was able to put a foley catheter in him, without the bag. Then I left for work. A wet bed woke him up. His mom's a nurse, too. He had to explain to her why it happened. I had bought him a 200 disc CD player. Most of the CDs got superglued in it, so they wouldn't play. Then every window in his truck, and all the glass gat smashed. Then it "rained" about 15 gallons of water in the has tank!!

I didn't get mad, just even. She ended up dumping him a couple months later.

If your mate, had an affair, what would you do ??? really, think it out ...

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