misc goofy witness stuff

by joelbear 17 Replies latest watchtower scandals

  • joelbear
    joelbear

    We had a house near the kingdom hall where we always started out time when I was a pioneer. There was never anyone home. We always left a back copy. I point this house out to Mitch when we go visit my parents. It cracks him up.

    People that go to laundromats have no excuse at Armageddon. They have multitudes of Watchtower information available to them.

    I was once attacked by a hog while at a trailer in service.

    I used to start my time by writing a witness down on paper and then handwriting copies of it.

    There is no way my pioneer partners got there time in because they always showed up late at my house for service. We only met at the hall on Wednesdays and Sats, the rest of the time, we met at my house and had text in the car if we weren't too sleepy.

    We loved having their grandmother or my mother go out with us because they took forever on her return visits during which we could nap and count time.

    I once had a bible study in a house with mice running all over the floor. the house stank so bad you could not breathe. the studies never lasted more than 15 or 20 minutes.

    I estimate that i placed 1000 truth books in my time witnessing.

    I once went door to door with one of the annointed. when a guy rejected us at one door, he said as we were leaving the house that the guy would make great fertilizer in the new world.

    When I was a kid my mother and I went out in service with a married couple who were annointed. This was south georgia and summer and it was very hot and no AC in the car. I was like 7 years old. Once a day he would take me to the Dairy Queen, take me around back and let me drink out of the water fountain. He used to tell me it was the wettest water in town. no DQ scrumpdillyishus treats for me.

    I could play the song From House to House all the way through with one finger on the piano.

    I had a friend who could cross one eye at a time. she would try to crack me up when i was giving talks or reading the watchtower.

    i gave the talk from the youth book at the ministry school on the chapter about masturbation and homosexuality. they wanted an expert.

    i once gave a presentation on the service meeting with my mom and we couldn't stop laughing long enough to get the presentation out, i was very upset at the time, now i think its hilarious.

    one of the sisters in our congregation tried to make the news reports from around the world usually given at the first of the service meeting more interesting by going in the annex and reading them in fake foreign accents.

    my biggest treat after thursday night meetings was going out to eat with friends. i started the tradition in valdosta and continued it in jacksonville. in valdosta we always went to shoney's and i always had chicken fingers with sweet and sour sauce. in jacksonville we always went to bennigan's and i always had bayou chicken.

    at conventions my mother always gave us lifesavers candy to suck on so we wouldn't fall asleep.

    i used to spend most of my time at conventions wandering the halls checking out the guys.

    at the Watchtower Farm where i served, the fish in the pond in front of the E building would eat out of your hands.

    when subscriptions got low once i had to work on the plumbing crew. they put me to work breaking up concrete in a cow barn with a jackhammer whose bit was broken.

    one of the overseers in the subscription department kept all the supplies locked in his desk. you had to go ask him for new pens or magic markers which were used to make corrections on the metal address stencils. he made a big deal out of examining a marker to make sure it was completely unuseable before he would give you a new one. of course it took 5 times as long to make corrections with

    at Bethel, you got whole milk for breakfast and skim milk for lunch and dinner.

    lol, so much more, i'll do more later.

  • heatherg
    heatherg

    love the memories, keep em coming! hg

  • scotsman
    scotsman
    one of the sisters in our congregation tried to make the news reports from around the world usually given at the first of the service meeting more interesting by going in the annex and reading them in fake foreign accents.

    This one really made me laugh. Before things got so slick there was a certain charm about things like that. I remember the magazine counter was actually a drinks cabinet donated by one sister. WT&A cocktail anyone?

  • EvilForce
    EvilForce

    i gave the talk from the youth book at the ministry school on the chapter about masturbation and homosexuality. they wanted an expert.

    This is funny. When I tell people of the boys I bagged that became MS's and elders they are usually amazed. So do tell, how was your sex life at Bethel? So many boys, all sexually frustrated?

  • rebel8
    rebel8

    LOL, that really gave me a good laugh!

    You made me remember what happened to my mother once. She had 2 little kids w/her in FS. The "householder" was chatting for a while through her storm door. My mom looked down after noticing how quiet the kids were being and saw them licking their fingers and writing words with spit on the glass.

    2 teens from my old cong used to go in FS together and introduce themselves with wierd bible names, like Cain and Abel.

  • MerryMagdalene
    MerryMagdalene

    Thanks for sharing the memories, Joelbear...I really enjoyed that.....and look forward to more...

    People that go to laundromats have no excuse at Armageddon. They have multitudes of Watchtower information available to them.

    ...don't know why that bit stood out to me in particular...but I actually LOLed!

    ~Merry

  • MidwichCuckoo
    MidwichCuckoo

    Beautiful one-liners. More please.

  • IronGland
    IronGland

    at meetings or assemblies i would multiply 60 seconds by the number of hours we would be there. I would then count to that number. That's around 25000 for a day at the DC. It was more interesting than the speeches.

  • lonelysheep
    lonelysheep
    i gave the talk from the youth book at the ministry school on the chapter about masturbation and homosexuality. they wanted an expert.

    LOL!! That's hilarious!

  • joelbear
    joelbear

    the boys at bethel were totally hot. i had my favorites that i timed going to the showers with.

    but i was at the same time determined that i would not be a homosexual.

    i never touched any of them. in fact i went 23 days once while at Bethel (i'll never forget) without touching

    myself. i thought i would go insane. i was 19 for goodness sake.

    but alas, I fell in love with a brother named Rick who made my heart go thump thump

    and on a snowy december night i told him how i felt. he turned me in and i was

    Bethel history two weeks later. whoosh!

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