The C.O. and elder came to my house last night!

by Sarah 43 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Victor_E

  Dearest Sarah and husband,
  I feel for you both and empathize with your experience. Having been through this emotional pain myself I have one tip to give you. In my most intense pain I realized these monsters have no more power than what you give them. Take all your power back from these cruel taskmasters and from your family. Decide never to let anyone power over your will and self determination. I have an article that I wrote some time back on the recovery process that may help you. The url is http://www.jwfiles.com/recovery.htm

  You both are in my prayers.

  Victor Escalante
• 

  sf

  Dear Sarah,

  {{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}} from me and my daughter; she read this with me. Her grandmother and her grandmothers leaders stabbed her mother in the back something similar to this 24 years ago, come August 7th (1977). We shed a tear for you and your husband and embrace you warmly.

  You know, as I read it, I too, got nauseated. I still feel that pain of a severed heart. It hurts like hell. Even after all these years, that DAY is fresh. It's like a scar that gets bumped; the memory of the day the scar got there and it is a trigger that, at least for me, unleashes the pain in an even worse dose than it did that day.

  If you ever feel like you need to unleash or vomit, you can always find myself and a host of others from here and around other parts of the net, to gain support and a much needed soft place to fall, on yahoo voice chat. Perhaps you've already downloaded it. There are different rooms with different agenda's. There is a lot of laughter too. But when someone "walks" in, and is wounded, we get serious fast. After awhile, you start building a support network and others "walk" in just like you and we all are there to help in whatever way we can. Much like here.

  You both sure displayed alot of courage by standing up to those...(omitted)! You two are an inspiration! Get some rest and hopefully we can chat soon.

  Sincerely, sKally..."wturls"/wtURLs on yahoo messenger
• 

  individuals wife

  Dearest Sarah,

  My heart really went out to you when I read your post - I am so pleased that you chose to share your experience with us in the realisation that you are not alone and you will find comfort here.

  What can I say that hasn't already been said? Just be there for each other, talk to each other, don't keep things bottled up. My husband was a real tower of strength for me when we both left, I'm not sure that I would have coped so well if he wasn't behind me wholeheartedly.
  One thing that we found useful and constructive was to go away for a weekend, it may seem like running away but for us it was a chance to re-evaluate our lives, put things in perspective and give us the strength to move on.

  I hope you believe me when I say there is life after the organisation, a better life. Go for it and try not to look back.
  Best wishes to you both xxxxxxxxxxxx
• 

  teejay

  So sorry, Sister and Brother Sarah, for the loving way that Jehovah's representatives cared for your spiritual needs. I hope your extended family is more open minded than many that I have heard about. Otherwise, you may have lost them for a while. I recommend you write a letter (ala Rational Witness and waiting), rescinding your da'ing.

  On a side note:

  For those of us who have yet to experience such a loving display from our equally kind-hearted men of god, are there any tips on how to best handle such a situation (like questions we can ask or points to make) to put the inquisition on hold until we can get batteries and tape for the video and tape recorders?
• 

  bluesapphire

  Sarah, I'm sorry for what happened to you. Everyone here wants to support you and your husband. I agree with the preceeding posts about writing a letter through/with your attorney. The letter could say something to the effect of:

  My husband and I feel that we were coerced into disassociation by the CO (mention name) and elder (mention name). This letter is to inform you that we in no way disassociate ourselves from the organization and if you make any announcement concerning us we will consider it slanderous and will take legal action against you personally.

  I know the law says that if you join a religion you are bound to their rules but the key is that THEY are also bound to those same published rules. In any case, this will stall the process. They will probably try to DF you but you will have time to show your mom, sis and bro and your friends how they are coercing you and your husband who only want to lead a quiet, peaceful life.

  The CO sounds like a Brother William Ward my husband and I knew. I know if that asshole showed up at my house I would simply slam the door in his face and threaten to call the police if he didn't get off of my property.

  Lots of hugs and love
• 

  slipnslidemaster

  The kind words that everyone wrote goes double for me.

  I will keep it simple. I'm proud of you and I know that in time you will feel better

  ((((((((((hugs))))))))))

  You're not alone. You don't have to go through this alone. We're here.

  Slipnslidemaster: "The gods too are fond of a joke."
  - Aristotle
• 

  Monica

  Sarah,

  I will try to keep it short and simple too. I just want you to know that my heart sunk reading your story and I still have a lump in my throat. They are heartless SOBs who care not about the pain they cause. I agree with the others about printing up the articles on the JW site about how it doesn't sever ties for your family members. My thoughts are with you and your husband. The elders have not proved you 'weak', but rather the exact opposite! You two are very strong and courageous for not backing down to them! Hang in there!

  One thing that helps me when I'm stressed is to light some candles, lower the lights and play some soft mellow music while enjoying a nice glass of wine (doing this in a nice warm soap-filled tub is even better). Close your eyes and take some deep breaths and throw out of your mind all your stresses. You have a right and power to chose your own thoughts.

  Peace and comfort to you,
  Monica
• 

  Preston

  I don't know how the rest of you guys feel but tears were streaming down my face by the time I was done reading Sarah's post. You have no idea how sad I feel hearing what you went through Sarah. I have met *FEW* elders in my life who were capable of showing loving consideration and positive affection toward people. You and your husband are 100 times the person either one of those elders are, and it takes real balls (if you can excuse me for saying this) telling them off like you did. You are an amazing person and the level of candor that you displayed is exemplary. I hope I have encouraged you in some way! *MANY MANY HUGS*
• 

  Prisca

  ((((((((((sarah and husband)))))))))))

  My heart goes out to you, and, as you have seen, everyone else here supports you and is here for you! Everyone has given you excellent advice, and I can add no more to what has been said.

  I have had elders call unnanounced at my home several times - I have no idea why they think they can discuss your "spirituality" and standing in the congrgation at the drop of the hat. Do they think just because you are home you have nothing better to do than sit around waiting for them to call?? Give me a break.

  One thing this post has done is helped me realise that if these guys ever turn up at my door again, there is no way they are setting foot into my home. Nor to they have the right to question me on my thoughts regarding the FDS or anything else!

  Hang in there Sarah! We're all here for you!!
• 

  metatron

  Quick! Go to your relatives and talk things over with them!
  This is important! I have found out in life that most
  people make up their minds after they hear ONE SIDE of the
  story - go to your relatives and tell them how badly you've
  been treated - play on their emotions- get them to promise
  that they won't shun you in private. Lay the groundwork
  for the DA'ing - if you can't stop it you can limit its
  effects.

  I am sorry you were treated like this by these bullies.
  Am I wrong to hope they get a punch in mouth some
  day?

  metatron