Recently deleted as elder (page 3)

TweetieBird

To tjwtiamb: In reference to your question for LittleToe, please check out the following: http://www.angelfire.com/trek/littletoe/Profile.html All I can say is WOW! What kahuna's he had. I would love to have been at that talk. Imagine all of the jaws dropping open.

mouthy

I just sit there and think about this forum. aaaaaaahhhhhhh!

Congratulations. I too have to admire you. But watch the rumors now- You would be shocked at some of the rumors they spread about me...I too hope you have not lost your faith in HOPE!!!! Not their hope of a paradise earth though. The one I believe the Bible teaches in Hebrews for all who want to go through the DOOR.... Heavenly one.....((((HUG)))

willyloman

I know what you're going thru, bro'... I was an elder for more than 20 years. It was nearly 2 years ago that I was deleted from the list of elders, a move I accomplished because of some serious illness in the family (which has since gotten resolved, fortunately). Like many others, I got not one single phone call or expression of concern or understanding. At first that surprised me, but later I came to accept it as a blessing. Nothing could have confirmed my decision to fade better than being ignored by virtually everyone in the congregation, despite a record of truly dedicated service going back nearly 30 years.

Later, when I stopped going to meetings, one, just one elder bothered to come by the house and see if we were "okay." Once he determined from quizzing me that it was health issues that were keeping us from the meetings (as opposed to a deterioration of our faith), he was satisfied that we were all right (i.e., no threat). Haven't heard from him since, and that's nearly a year. No one else has checked on us either. It's bliss, really, and I'm thankful.

It's been said on this forum that JWs are the only religion that shoots its wounded, and I have found this to be true. When one of the "sheep" appears to be hurt, dubs run the other way for fear of contamination. They are content to let their "shepherds" deal with it, and assume the elders are all over the situation. The truth is, most elders are just as wary as the rest of the flock and no more skilled in social graces than the rest of the herd.

Finally, you mention "spiritual abuse" in your post. That's exactly what it was, and is. There is some interesting work being done in recovery circles, in which the 12-step program is applied to those who've abused religion, or been abused by it. If you're interested, PM me and I'll send you a link to a terrific tape of a lecture that helped us heal [and, no, you don't have to attend meetings or anything].

orangefatcat

One thing is for sure, you'll enjoy peace of mind, and you will all of a sudden stop aging at a fast rate. I have seen so many elders burn out and age beyond belief due to the intense pressure of shepherding a congregation. You showed trememdous courage in what you did. You mental and emotional health will get healthier now and your family will be happier I am sure.

I have seen large numbers of elders leaving the responsibilities of the congregation for a less paced lifestyle. Some of them have also slowly stopped going to the meetings. I know of four elders personally in my area and there may be more now, who have just stopped going to meetings and slowly pulling away from the organization.

Defiinitley the G B must be having spasms over the number of servants leaving the ranks.

I would love to be a fly in a room where the GB discuss their stratagies to hasten the fall of elders, ms, Cir. and Dis. overseers. Pioneers. They must be really agitated by this exodus. But then on the other hand I can see them saying, this is just part of the last days and we shouldn't be worried because of the sifting of the wheat and chaff. They will rationalize something I am sure.

I am so relieved that ones in positions of responsiblity are leaving as it makes me feel better about the choices I made to leave the organization several years ago. Wow time goes by fast.

May you have peace and tranquility in your life now. I have never welcomed you to JWD as this is the first time I have seen any of your postings so welcome and thanks for making my day.

Love the Resident Orangefatcat

Terry

myelaine

Dear Listener,

If you can see spiritual "abuse", then you can also appreciate the concept of spiritual "shipwreck".

Matt 8:27 And the men marveled saying, "Who can this be, that even the winds and the sea obey Him?"

love michelle

codeblue

I am so glad you are getting some "peace" in your life.

Have you read the book: "The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse"? I found it very healing and very validating for the abuse we put up with as JW's.

You would think it was written by JW's but it is not.....yet, each chapter applies to the JW religion.

Does you family feel the same way about the JW's as you do? (Sorry if you are repeating the answer)

Me and hubby have been fading for 2 years. My peace has not been attained since my children are still JW's (sigh)...and I have 3 JW sisters, one has already shunned me...(hung up the phone on me a year ago....)

Codeblue

DanTheMan

Congratulations TheListener.

I was never a servant, but I think I can pretty well imagine the pressure that comes from leaving the "big dogs" to just be a little dog in the cong. Be very careful if you don't want them to try to ruin your life.

OldSoul

LittleToe: No more taking the lead, having to be an "example" to the flock.

No more having to appear as though you are something you are not, or someone you are not. I always wondered how the hell someone was suppose to acquire the mind of Christ when everyone was pushing you to do things in a way that pleased them or in a way they assumed would please others.

For instance, beards. Honestly, how many Witnesses would be shocked by anyone wearing a beard if the Faithful and Discreet Slave (nom de plume of the Governing Body) did not tell them to be shocked? It is looking out for strict adherence to endless petty rules of a few men that consumes the elder's time so much they couldn't look out for the flock if they wanted to!

I am so happy for you, TheListener. You are on your way to a better life.

Respectfully,
OldSoul

codeblue

The Listener: you have a pm!!!

LittleToe

I see someone else has answered your question (thanks for that). I really do need to update that page as it's been up for about 3 years.

They beat me regarding one precious thing - it cost me my wife!
I don't know if I've posted this before, but after I got back to my car that morning the dubs were just leaving the hall from their truncated meeting. My wife climbed into the car and we spoke for a few minutes, and I broke down expressing how the greatest fear I had in all of that was the fear of losing her.

By degrees that became a reality, until we finally separated and shall divorce later this year.
Grief takes a long time to heal!

Whichever way we go out, it's a Russian roulette.
Good luck!!!
May YOUR route, which is YOURS alone, be paved with gold

Recently deleted as elder

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